Earlier this week I saw this quote on internet and it just hit me – boom!
I have had this huge guilt recently that I haven’t been blogging as much as I planned but at the moment my (new) life is just getting in the way. And I have to keep telling myself that it’s a good thing, not a bad thing. Life is moving at a zillion miles an hour and I just need to embrace it!
I mean – what was my other option. My life certainly couldn’t carry on the way it was, I couldn’t carry on the way I was. Kidding myself that I was ok, that my drinking was ok.
It is so easy to get stuck in a drinking rut, so easy to tell yourself that everything is ok, that it’s normal to feel drained, its normal to want to drink to escape who you are and what you are feeling, its ok to spending most of your weekend either drinking or thinking about drinking.
It’s not NORMAL. Its not OK. And there is only YOU who can do something about it.
Earlier this week I posted this on my Instagram page and a couple of Facebook groups that I follow.
I was absolutely amazed at the response! My message was a bit more ‘tough love’ than It would normally be, but you know what a lot of people seemed to react to that in a positive way. On the Facebook groups especially I received so many positive comments.
You really DO need to stop listening to your own bullshit and kidding yourself that your life as it now is OK.
One of the things that sobriety has shown me is that by taking alcohol away you are allowing yourself to be who you really are. You start to discover the real you, what you REALLY enjoy doing, the people who you really want to spend your time with. Its like unravelling the layers to discover the new you – this new life that you are slowly creating around you. When you are drinking, your focus is on drinking – take that away and your life becomes about so much more.
Last night I realised how far I have come in my journey. And although I have been so stressed this last couple of weeks with course work and signing up to be a tropics ambassador, I felt like last night was my reward. I stood in front of a group of friends and family and hosted my launch party. I felt confident, I was in my element, I was talking about something I love and it was a huge success! I loved it and I can’t wait to do another one.
Now rewind to the old me – at this type of party (which I had a few, it fit in with young kids, it got people together and most importantly, I could drink what I wanted in my own house) I would be taking every opportunity ti knock back the wine, constantly getting up for a top up and having another glass in the kitchen as my ‘kitchen’ drink just in case I left my glass in the other room (please tell me someone else out there has done that!!??) And I have sometimes even woken up with no idea what I have ordered?? I would NEVER have even contemplated being someone who ran these parties! What? a Friday night, having to drive somewhere, having to watch other people drink, and having the confidence to stand up there, with no wine and sell something nooooooo that would NEVER happen! My wine was far to important to me, it was my ‘reward’ for a ‘tough’ week with the kids. It was the escape that I needed, and NOTHING would get me off the settee and away from my wine. How ironic that it was the wine and the settee that I needed to escape from!!
Fast forward to last night and I stood up there after a large glass of Zero Point Zero fizz from Aldi and held my own party! And after lots of positive texts from my guests I’m pretty sure I smashed it! The person I feel like now to the person I felt like then is just two totally different people. I really do feel like my sober life is a new life and a new me. I am slowly becoming the person who I am meant to be and doing the things I love. I am waking up everyday feeling excited (stressed, hectic and anxious at times – yes!) but feeling as though my new life is slowly coming together and the hard work of the early days of sobriety, and the numerous day ones are paying off.
Change doesn’t happen over night. I have seen a lot of people towards the end of Dry January saying things aren’t changing such as weight loss, energy levels etc. But they won’t, the changes are slow, gradual but they will happen . Not picking up the glass id the first change you need to make – the rest will follow. You are becoming the real you, taking away the smoke screen of alcohol that tells you everything is OK. ITS NOT OK. And if you are reading my blog you probably already know that it’s not ok.
It doesn’t matter if your on day one or day 1000 of your sober journey. What matters is that you stop kidding yourself and start pushing forward on your journey to discover the real you and live the life that makes you want to jump out of bed every morning (well let’s be realistic – most mornings!)
If your just starting out on your sober journey, oleo look back at some of my first posts that help with the early days Just start……….
Hope its a happy hangover free weekend for you guys and that your spending it doing something that you love.
Please find me on Instagram for daily sober inspo @liftingweightsnotwine
A sober shout out to Linda,Trish, Michelle and ….. My mum who are all on their little sober journeys and becoming sober,strong women (its only taken me 43 years to be a good influence!xxx)