Today marks my 7 years sober milestone!!!!! I keep going from thinking how is it 7 years?, to feeling like I have been sober forever. The old drinking me is someone I just do not know, I have no connection to her anymore – thankfully she’s a total stranger BUT she taught me some lessons!

It feels like a huge milestone and something I want to celebrate with you guys and also give back. For those who are in the early days and seven days seems impossible never mind 7 years, ( I was that girl) I want to share the top seven things I have learned so far :

Lesson ONE – The sober me is the real me!

The sober you is the real, authentic you. Its who you were made to be! You discover such a sense of self awareness when you lose the booze and you will find that a new you emerges. You will be truer to yourself, you will say YES to what you love, you will create stronger friendships and relationships as you are the true version of you.

I used to be a constant people pleaser, changing who I was to please others – it was so draining. Alcohol helped me put on whatever persona I needed for the situation. I didn’t know myself I was so busy being whatever I needed to be for other people. Now my focus is being the real me and doing what I love! And once you are in that mindset you attract everything that is meant for the authentic you!

Lesson TWO – There is sooooooo much more to life!

When I was drinking, alcohol would be the CENTRE of everything! What time are we drinking? will there be booze? Who else is drinking? What time does the bar open? I would use any excuse I could find to involve alcohol. I didn’t give myself a chance to even TRY and have fun without it!

Now my life is full of so many amazing things, I have said yes to opportunities that the drinking me would have just sat and dreamed about. Girls like me didn’t do things like that! Well the sober me changed that and you can too! You can dance, get on a stage, change your career, ugly belly laugh, see the world and live a full and exciting life sober – use you new found sober confidence to go out and grab that new sober life, its out there waiting!

Lesson THREE – Sober Sleep Is Another Level

In the early days of my sober journey I would head off to bed super early with a hot choc and a book, to take me out of the way of temptation and get myself our of the habit of drinking on the settee AND because sober sleep is a luxury. There is no better feeling than your head hitting the pillow and you know you will be getting an uninterrupted 8 hours, and even better you have done your skincare, brushed your teeth and made it into your pj’s – I like being a little extra and spraying my pillow mist too!

Compare that to passing our on the settee or flopping into bed after drinking, makeup on, teeth not brushed and already massively dehydrated! Just to wake up three hours later sweating, feeling sick, total anxiety and the worst wine breath. We all know that feeling and its no wonder we wake up feeling drained and tired and once again waiting for wine time to feel better!

Lesson FOUR – Life’s not perfect, and that’s ok!

I used to always want to be in control of a situation, which is so crazy as drinking saw me lose all self control. Now I can handle change, disappointment and the days that just aren’t that great, so much better than before. I would always make it all about me – how I was affected, how I had been let down, poor little old me – who would need wine to help her feel better.

If I told you the past seven years have seen me skipping through pink fields with unicorns everyday, I would be lying! Of course I still have rubbish days, still feel let down, still have to change my plans or my direction – but now I’m much better equipped to take a deep breath, learn from it and move on. I guess I’ve got a sober tool kit and my new way of dealing with things – which I have had to learn for myself along the way. Exercise, walks, retail therapy, decluttering, working, spending time with those I love – are all ways for me to deal with those feelings that used to have me reaching for a couple of bottles of wine. It takes time to find out what works for you but its good to know that when things fall apart you have things to turn to to get through.

Lesson FIVE – I’m a better Mum, Daughter, Wife and Friend

They say you love the ones you hurt the most and the I think the drinking you is the most selfish version of you. When I was drinking I would get to the point that all that mattered was having that next drink, I would say things I couldn’t remember, let people down, embarrass myself and those I loved – all for alcohol.

Its good to know that now I’m giving the people I love the best of me, ALL of the time! My girls will forever be my reason why, they were 7 & 10 when I quit and just starting to notice I was different when the wine was around. And although I regret not stopping sooner I’m so glad I stopped when I did so they have fewer memories of how I was then. I just know I’m a better person, I am more tuned in, I can pick up on peoples feelings, I look out for those I love and I want to nurture the relationships I have with my family and friends now.

Lesson SIX – Wine is not selfcare!

What a revelation! Who knew!! Alcohol is NOT selfcare!! “Treat myself to a bottle of wine” was one of my favourite sayings. Treating myself to cheer myself up or reward myself for something good – or just to celebrate getting half way trough the week! Wine would be there as my treat!

Now I’m all about REAL self care and for me this looks like; saying no to something or someone, setting boundaries, turning off my phone, pamper nights, retail therapy, early PJ night (or afternoon!), good food, a fab gym session with time for a sauna, a good coffee, catching up with friends, snuggles on the settee, early nights, sleepy mornings and cake! Self care comes in so many ways, it’s what makes you feel like you, what brings you back home to yourself.

Lesson SEVEN – NEVER be ashamed of your story

When I first stopped drinking in 2016 I had been trying to quit for about 18 months. During that time I was obsessed with secretly snooping around sober blogs and online sober groups, but would never sign up or comment, I felt to ashamed. How had I ended up being someone who cant drink normally like everyone else? I wasn’t that bad was I? Then every Monday morning would confirm I DID have a problem, the guilt and anxiety was screaming at me to change.

It took me 12 months of sobriety before I set up this blog and my Instagram account. It was then that I started connecting with others and hearing how I was helping them, helped me keep sharing my story and its now something I am so proud of. Second to having my beautfiul girls its the best decision I have ever made.

We suffer in so much silence and shame, sneaking drinks, trying to cover up slurring words, defending ourselves the next morning saying we do remember, trying to walk straight and pull ourselves together. Sneaking into the kitchen for an extra top up, hiding drinks in a cup in the day on as Sunday to survive the hangover, hiding bottles, saying ooh lets have a drink when you know you’ve had three already, pretending you have to get something from the shop so you can get more wine and saying you have a cold so you can have a “large hot toddy” on a night you promised you wouldn’t drink.

These are ALL part of my journey, all part of me and who I am today. Don’t be ashamed of anything the drinking you has done because hating yourself will not help you heal! Accept it, embrace it, forgive yourself and then focus all your energy on building the new you – She’s out there waiting!

I feel like I have learnt so many other things along the way , but right now at this stage in my journey these feel the most significant to me and will hopefully help you too!

Let me know what you think, can you relate to these lessons? Or are you struggling? My inbox is always open and don’t forget to find me on Instagram for daily inspo. https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/

My plan is to start blogging more regularly too so please stay connected and lets smash this sober journey together!

Love

Angie xx