Tag: sober milestone

“7 Sober Lessons From 7 Years Sober!”

November 21, 2023

Today marks my 7 years sober milestone!!!!! I keep going from thinking how is it 7 years?, to feeling like I have been sober forever. The old drinking me is someone I just do not know, I have no connection to her anymore – thankfully she’s a total stranger BUT she taught me some lessons!

It feels like a huge milestone and something I want to celebrate with you guys and also give back. For those who are in the early days and seven days seems impossible never mind 7 years, ( I was that girl) I want to share the top seven things I have learned so far :

Lesson ONE – The sober me is the real me!

The sober you is the real, authentic you. Its who you were made to be! You discover such a sense of self awareness when you lose the booze and you will find that a new you emerges. You will be truer to yourself, you will say YES to what you love, you will create stronger friendships and relationships as you are the true version of you.

I used to be a constant people pleaser, changing who I was to please others – it was so draining. Alcohol helped me put on whatever persona I needed for the situation. I didn’t know myself I was so busy being whatever I needed to be for other people. Now my focus is being the real me and doing what I love! And once you are in that mindset you attract everything that is meant for the authentic you!

Lesson TWO – There is sooooooo much more to life!

When I was drinking, alcohol would be the CENTRE of everything! What time are we drinking? will there be booze? Who else is drinking? What time does the bar open? I would use any excuse I could find to involve alcohol. I didn’t give myself a chance to even TRY and have fun without it!

Now my life is full of so many amazing things, I have said yes to opportunities that the drinking me would have just sat and dreamed about. Girls like me didn’t do things like that! Well the sober me changed that and you can too! You can dance, get on a stage, change your career, ugly belly laugh, see the world and live a full and exciting life sober – use you new found sober confidence to go out and grab that new sober life, its out there waiting!

Lesson THREE – Sober Sleep Is Another Level

In the early days of my sober journey I would head off to bed super early with a hot choc and a book, to take me out of the way of temptation and get myself our of the habit of drinking on the settee AND because sober sleep is a luxury. There is no better feeling than your head hitting the pillow and you know you will be getting an uninterrupted 8 hours, and even better you have done your skincare, brushed your teeth and made it into your pj’s – I like being a little extra and spraying my pillow mist too!

Compare that to passing our on the settee or flopping into bed after drinking, makeup on, teeth not brushed and already massively dehydrated! Just to wake up three hours later sweating, feeling sick, total anxiety and the worst wine breath. We all know that feeling and its no wonder we wake up feeling drained and tired and once again waiting for wine time to feel better!

Lesson FOUR – Life’s not perfect, and that’s ok!

I used to always want to be in control of a situation, which is so crazy as drinking saw me lose all self control. Now I can handle change, disappointment and the days that just aren’t that great, so much better than before. I would always make it all about me – how I was affected, how I had been let down, poor little old me – who would need wine to help her feel better.

If I told you the past seven years have seen me skipping through pink fields with unicorns everyday, I would be lying! Of course I still have rubbish days, still feel let down, still have to change my plans or my direction – but now I’m much better equipped to take a deep breath, learn from it and move on. I guess I’ve got a sober tool kit and my new way of dealing with things – which I have had to learn for myself along the way. Exercise, walks, retail therapy, decluttering, working, spending time with those I love – are all ways for me to deal with those feelings that used to have me reaching for a couple of bottles of wine. It takes time to find out what works for you but its good to know that when things fall apart you have things to turn to to get through.

Lesson FIVE – I’m a better Mum, Daughter, Wife and Friend

They say you love the ones you hurt the most and the I think the drinking you is the most selfish version of you. When I was drinking I would get to the point that all that mattered was having that next drink, I would say things I couldn’t remember, let people down, embarrass myself and those I loved – all for alcohol.

Its good to know that now I’m giving the people I love the best of me, ALL of the time! My girls will forever be my reason why, they were 7 & 10 when I quit and just starting to notice I was different when the wine was around. And although I regret not stopping sooner I’m so glad I stopped when I did so they have fewer memories of how I was then. I just know I’m a better person, I am more tuned in, I can pick up on peoples feelings, I look out for those I love and I want to nurture the relationships I have with my family and friends now.

Lesson SIX – Wine is not selfcare!

What a revelation! Who knew!! Alcohol is NOT selfcare!! “Treat myself to a bottle of wine” was one of my favourite sayings. Treating myself to cheer myself up or reward myself for something good – or just to celebrate getting half way trough the week! Wine would be there as my treat!

Now I’m all about REAL self care and for me this looks like; saying no to something or someone, setting boundaries, turning off my phone, pamper nights, retail therapy, early PJ night (or afternoon!), good food, a fab gym session with time for a sauna, a good coffee, catching up with friends, snuggles on the settee, early nights, sleepy mornings and cake! Self care comes in so many ways, it’s what makes you feel like you, what brings you back home to yourself.

Lesson SEVEN – NEVER be ashamed of your story

When I first stopped drinking in 2016 I had been trying to quit for about 18 months. During that time I was obsessed with secretly snooping around sober blogs and online sober groups, but would never sign up or comment, I felt to ashamed. How had I ended up being someone who cant drink normally like everyone else? I wasn’t that bad was I? Then every Monday morning would confirm I DID have a problem, the guilt and anxiety was screaming at me to change.

It took me 12 months of sobriety before I set up this blog and my Instagram account. It was then that I started connecting with others and hearing how I was helping them, helped me keep sharing my story and its now something I am so proud of. Second to having my beautfiul girls its the best decision I have ever made.

We suffer in so much silence and shame, sneaking drinks, trying to cover up slurring words, defending ourselves the next morning saying we do remember, trying to walk straight and pull ourselves together. Sneaking into the kitchen for an extra top up, hiding drinks in a cup in the day on as Sunday to survive the hangover, hiding bottles, saying ooh lets have a drink when you know you’ve had three already, pretending you have to get something from the shop so you can get more wine and saying you have a cold so you can have a “large hot toddy” on a night you promised you wouldn’t drink.

These are ALL part of my journey, all part of me and who I am today. Don’t be ashamed of anything the drinking you has done because hating yourself will not help you heal! Accept it, embrace it, forgive yourself and then focus all your energy on building the new you – She’s out there waiting!

I feel like I have learnt so many other things along the way , but right now at this stage in my journey these feel the most significant to me and will hopefully help you too!

Let me know what you think, can you relate to these lessons? Or are you struggling? My inbox is always open and don’t forget to find me on Instagram for daily inspo. https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/

My plan is to start blogging more regularly too so please stay connected and lets smash this sober journey together!

Love

Angie xx

3 Years Sober – what I have learnt and what happens next!?!

November 21, 2019

The 21st November 2016 was the first day of my new sober life!

That was THREE years ago – three years of sobriety – three years of finding the sober me – the real me – three years of transforming myself and my life!  My day one seems a long, long time ago now, so much has happened in that time and its been a crazy whirlwind of ups and downs but these are some of the reasons why its the best thing I have EVER done!

  1. No Hangovers – not one single hangover – 3 years of waking up hangover free! AMEN to that!!
  2. Being present and totally there for my two girls Jess and Sally – my world
  3. No memory loss or blackouts at the end of the night.
  4. No planning my weekends and social life around alcohol.
  5. Going out and remembering the whole night, the food, the chats and most importantly the laughs.
  6. Realising that I am actually a really loud, clumsy person who probably looks drunk most of the time when I am out.
  7. Discovering that hot chocolate is up there with expensive therapy sessions – it actually makes you feel better and certainly got me through the early days.
  8. Going out when I want to go out with whom I want to go out with.  Not saying no to nights out because the people may not be boozy enough and NOT spending nights out with people just because they are boozy.
  9. Looking at my circle of friends now and realising that yes it has gone smaller but  stronger and my friends love me for me, drinking or not.
  10. Realising that I can actually be the sort of person that does crazy challenges like Tough Mudder !
  11. Sticking to a real exercise regime, being consistent.  Feeling proud watching my body grow strong, changing shape and my muscles getting bigger (this is a very slow process but I am not giving up!)
  12. To know my body, to be able to listen to what it needs – food, rest, fresh air, self care – not just drowning it out with wine.
  13. The money!! Just think how much money I have saved – seriously!
  14. To buy myself nice things and not feel guilty,  “well I’m not drinking!”
  15. Not having to get a taxi – anywhere!
  16. Being a taxi for friends and family and making sure they get home safe.
  17. No more thinking up excuses to go to the shop  for more wine.
  18. Not having to spend time devising a drinking plan that you know you will not stick to anyway.
  19. No more anxiety – or hanxiety – the dreaded feeling you get with a hangover where you worry about everything and your stress levels go through the roof.  (I used to always think I was going to pass out in the car or in the street and the kids would get kidnapped- yes it was that irrational!)
  20. Being able to drive anywhere and take the kids to anything they want to go to and not being annoyed that its an alcohol free event or that I cant drink because I am driving.
  21. No fixing my Drinkaware app figures and googling – am I an alcoholic or drink related illnesses.
  22. STILL loving the look on someone’s face when I say I don’t drink
  23. To accept and feel every part of the high’s and the low’s.  Everything I feel is real and true emotion, when it’s good its good and yes when its bad its bad –  but its all real.
  24. To get really excited,  like a child’s level of excitement for holidays and Christmas!
  25. To experience a totally sober holiday – these really are the best! (plus drunk people watching never gets old!)
  26. No waking up to a hazy memory of arguing or angry texting and you cant remember why?
  27. No beer belly or beer bloat!
  28. No missing the end of movies because you’ve crashed on the couch.
  29. No long deep meaningful conversations that you cant remember anything about.
  30. No awkwardness when you know you are repeating yourself again for the third time – that look on peoples face – awkward!?
  31. Having the energy to want to exercise everyday because you know it will give you a natural high.
  32. Knowing that not only your mind but your body is strong because of the healthy decisions you are making every day
  33. To sadly realise that you are a rubbish dancer dance drunk or sober but you don’t actually care because you just love dancing!
  34. No more morning after red wine breath, or the kids pointing it out to you.
  35. Realising that I LOVE meeting and speaking to new people.
  36. Learning to walk away from negativity and toxic people and situations.
  37. Finding my voice and being strong enough to say no.
  38. Having an inner confidence to stand my ground and not let people walk all over me.
  39. Washing my make up off EVERY night and enjoying self care and pamper time – (Tropic Skincare plays a huge part in this too!)
  40. Realising that there is such a thing as the sober glow, your skin, your eyes, everything – sober people just have it!
  41. Early morning runs.
  42. No starving myself all day to drink wine at night and then having a total pig out by 9pm.
  43. Being real – no falseness just 100% me!
  44. No stuffing myself with unhealthy food and carbs all weekend to try and feel half human.
  45. No mood swings (well I am 44 they may be creeping back slowly – ask my hubbie!)
  46. Having more patience.  As a mum, we need bucket loads and although I’m no saint I am 100% better than before.
  47. Realising that although I have never been a dog mum when I was drinking I know for a fact I am a better dog mum sober! I would have hated the walks, the poo, the general mess and stress of a dog. Plus imagine being all snuggled on the settee at night with my Bruno and having to get up every half hour for another drink – he would hate me!
  48. Realising that there is so much more to life than a clean house.  A clean house doesn’t make up for a messed up person or life.  My house is the messiest it has EVER been and I don’t actually care, I’m too busy living to clean up!
  49. Having a job that gets you from Monday to Friday but drains you of life, is not how it should be! Do a job you love and you will never work a day in your life – TRUE STORY!
  50. Coffee and drinking it guilt free! I used to avoid coffee due to its high caffeine but quite happily down two bottles of wine?! Now I admit I am addicted to coffee and enjoy every cup, plus never underestimate the power of a double espresso on a night out – Party time!!
  51. Finally after years of  weighing myself every day that, being fit, healthy and strong isn’t a number on scale its a feeling.
  52. At 44 years of age being able to look in the mirror and feel proud of how I look and who I am – no guilt or regret.
  53. Knowing that I am giving my body a fighting chance as it gets older to combat illness.
  54. Food glorious food! – I am a total foodie now, I love it ALL and its sooooo nice to have a dessert at the end of the night instead of another large glass of red.
  55. I have found my tribe – my sober tribe – through social media and day to day life, I have found people who get it and get me.
  56. Accepting that not everyone has to like you but also accepting that I don’t have to water myself down for those who don’t.
  57. Waking up early – naturally! The minute my eyes open, that’s it I’m wide awake – early Saturday and Sunday mornings whilst the world still sleeps are the best.
  58. Setting up my blog and Instagram page on my own.
  59. Not giving up on things as soon as they become difficult.  Skiing being one, (think of Bridget Jones -that’s me!) My Bodypump and ETM qualifications- all assessments that I have failed initially but got up and tried again and eventually got there.
  60. Realising how strong I am because I don’t give up!
  61. Being brave enough to set challenges and do things that really scare me but doing it anyway.
  62. Safe In the knowledge that I am showing my girls a way of life that doesn’t revolve around alcohol and that you can live a full, sociable, exciting life without it!
  63. Enjoying my own company and not feeling like I have to go to everything I am invited to, I actually enjoy being in on my own.
  64. Thinking I can do anything I put my mind to and not doubting myself.
  65. Feeling proud of not drinking and no longer feeling like I have to explain why. THIS IS ME!

The list goes on and I’m sure it will be even longer in the next three years!  It sounds drastic but stopping drinking has seriously changed my life because it has changed me.  It has made me push myself to change what I was unhappy with instead of drowning out my frustrations and unhappiness with alcohol and pretending to be happy.

I know I have neglected my blog recently and it really is because I have had so much  going on in my life that I just haven’t had the time.  But I promise from now on I will be finding time to post regularly.  You, my readers and followers have got me to where I am today and I am so grateful for that.

What happens next? over the next few weeks I will revisit the early days posts and how to survive a sober Christmas so please watch this space!

With regard to my journey I am now a fully qualified Bodypump Instructor and a Tropic Skincare Ambassador so both jobs are keeping me super busy and I love them both.  When I think that this time last year I was stood ironing peoples clothes for a living and  had been doing it for seven years, it actually makes me feel sad.  My life now is thriving – I am no longer just surviving the days and counting down to wine o’clock.  I am actually living and loving every sober second of my life!

To everyone reading this thankyou for being a part of this amazing journey as I hope I am a part of yours.

Love

Angie xx