Tag: sober nights out

Hangover Free Half-Term!

October 28, 2018

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So half-term is almost over, and it has been an action packed one for me and my family!

A while ago I shared a post titled A Sliding Doors Weekend…..which basically was about life being so different for me after kicking the booze.  And this half term has certainly been a “sliding doors” kind of week!

We started the half term at the beautiful Whinfell Center Parcs in the Lake District.  I think holidays are a time when I definitely see a big difference in myself now that I am sober.  We try to visit Center Parcs every year since we’ve had children, it’s just somewhere that we all love.  Now the only time that I haven’t drunk on a Center Parcs holiday was when I was pregnant with my second daughter.

So for me normally it’s  typical “holiday” mode drinking!  Starting as soon as I get there to “start” the holiday off with wine at lunch, then a few beers in the pool, followed by wine whilst getting ready at the lodge and into the evening whether we are going in or out for tea.  Needless to say I have had some horrendous hangovers whist I have been there, and normally would be counting down to a decent hour that I could have a drink to feel better.

The last two times I have been I have been sober and  I have definitely noticed the difference.  Take away the alcohol and you really get a feel for what Center Parcs is all about!  I have had a weekend of feeling full of energy, we did so much more and seemed to pack our days full.  I woke up every morning feeling raring to go, compared to how I used to sit trying to stomach breakfast, watching people run past on an early morning run and just not getting how people did that???? And now, that WAS me, early morning runs and feeling fresh after a fab nights sleep after falling into bed physically, exhausted.  And when we came home I felt recharged, still tired after a full on weekend, but a weekend full of life not full of wine!

For the rest of the week we have been on bike rides, baking, pumpkin carving (obviously!), had dvd nights with home-made popcorn, been to Liverpool for a shopping trip, plus I had a girls night out on Friday.

Before I stopped drinking I still loved the time spent with my girls but drinking would slowly creep in, taking my focus away from them.  For example I would want to get them to bed so I could ‘chillout’ and have a bottle of wine, I wouldn’t have the patience to sit through a dvd or make popcorn.   I would make the most of not having to get up for the school run and drink every night, leaving me feeling totally rubbish the next day.  We still did things together and went to places but my hangover anxiety would creep in and we wouldn’t venture very far!

On top of the drinking I would eat rubbish ALL week and just forget any ideas of exercise.  Now this week yes I have had some lovely treat food (Café rouge thankyou for the best donuts with dark chocolate dipping sauce EVER!) and I have purposely had some rest days to give my body a chance to recharge, but I have also been active on walks, bike rides etc to balance it out.

People think that by stopping drinking that you are giving something up and missing out.  Personally I feel (and I hope I am showing) that this isn’t the case at all!  My life and especially holidays and times together with the family, have become even richer and fulfilled.  I am getting more out of our time together (and with my eldest being a tween I am not sure how many more holidays she will want to spend with me!).

The thought of sober holidays can make you feel anxious and worried.  Holidays are a time when we just know we will be drinking more, after all we ‘deserve’ it don’t we???  On average we drink three times more than normal when we are on holiday!  That’s the norm, its just what we do isn’t it?

But ask yourself – was your last holiday a time that you recharged your batteries, looked after yourself, tried something new?  Or was it just like all the other holidays, eating and drinking to excess, coming home in need of a holiday?

It’s also about what happens after the time off, when life returns back to normal and school and work resume.  For me that used to be the worst!  The horrendous anxiety and fear that I was going  back to some sort of structure and early mornings again.  Feeling drained but trying to plan to exercise and lose the weight I had gained over the week, attempting to detox my body.  On top of that I am not one of these parents who look forward to the kids going back to school, (there is nothing at all wrong with being like that) it’s just that as I work from home it all goes very quiet when they go back and I miss having them around.  So true to form I would be drinking wine as a last chance to make myself feel better!

So yes,  I may feel a little sad that normality resumes tomorrow, but I am also feeling positive and refreshed ready to face the week ahead.  We have had a fab week and made some amazing memories for my little family, and I am now ready for the hectic countdown to Christmas!

Have you got a holiday coming up? Or have you just had your first sober half term if you’re doing sober October, how did it go? Any sober survival tactics that you can share?

Wishing you all a fabulous hangover free week ahead!

Angie xx

My Girls – My Wake Up Call!

May 22, 2018

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Here are three photos, the two on the left were taken a few years ago, the one on the right was in December 2017.  In all three photos I am smiling and happy, of course I am I’ve got the arms of my children around me!  Anyone who knows me knows that my girls are my world and for those who don’t know me, I am hoping you’ve picked that up from my blog and Instagram! Like most of us out there I have always tried to be a good mum, I have tried my best to do the right thing for my girls and that has always been the same, if I was drinking or not.  But there are a lot of ways that I now feel like I am giving my girls the best version of me and the best mum that I can be!

A lot of alcohol free experts state that if you are trying to give up alcohol for someone else then you won’t succeed, and  I’m not sure I fully agree with that?  I know for a fact that my girls are my motivation to stop drinking.  I want to be the best mum that I can be for them, I want to feel good all of the time,be healthy and full of energy for them, especially at the weekends when we have time to spend together.

The main thing for me is that they have my full attention whan they want it, well most of the time anyway!  We’ve all been there, a few glasses of wine down on a Friday evening and your ready to relax, your maybe trying to get the children to bed earlier or rushing their bedtime story to get down stairs to your next glass.   This doesn’t make you a bad parent it just means that you associate your down time and relaxation with a glass of wine, and that is easier to do when the kids are in bed.

It’s exactly the same when friends used to come around, I felt as though I would just go into wine world and leave the kids to it watching a dvd or playing.  This didn’t make me a bad mum,  it’s just that after 2-3 glasses the next glass became my priority.

My eldest, who was ten when I stopped drinking had definitely started to notice these times, when my attention was focused on the wine.  There are a few occasions that I will never forget and I honestly still feel bad about, when she said I hadn’t tucked her into bed properly or on a camping trip when she had been trying to get to sleep and I was cackling away taking rubbish outside of the tent! OMG cringe!  It was these times, that thankfully were few and far between, that I felt so so bad because I had upset her without realising it at the time.  She was growing up and starting to take notice, and I was noticing that she was noticing!  This definitely made me want to change.

Now I feel fully present for my kids, I am trying to give them the best version of me. We all know that being a parent is bloody hard work, sober or drinking but I definitely find that quitting the booze has helped me a lot.

I feel calmer, with no hangovers or feeling desperate to get a wine down me in the evenings at the weekends, I feel more chilled and patient with them (not all the time obviously!) I have energy to keep up with them and do what they want to do, most importantly I feel on their level of excitement, so for example at Christmas, Birthdays, or holidays, anything really that they are excited about, I am on that level with them.  Children don’t need alcohol to have a good time, they are genuinely excited about what they are doing not where the next drink is coming from.  The beauty of being sober is that I can now relate to that, I am with them on that level of pure joy and excitement for whats ahead!

I read a post on Instagram last week from a sober site that said sober parents are giving their children another option in life, and that is so true.  My girls can see that you don’t have to drink, there is an option to go out, have a life, celebrate Christmas, Birthdays etc and be sober.

So if you have got children just think they may be taking in more than you realise with regards to your drinking patterns, and if you change how you are after a few drinks they will possibly pick up on that.  Both my girls have told me that they prefer me not drinking, they say I am more “mummy like”  at the weekends!  And although I wont be turning into Mary Poppins anytime soon, I am so happy I have made the change when I did, whilst they are still young enough to want the more “mummy like” me tucking them in every night and not rushing downstairs for her next glass of wine!

Angie xx

 

 

Alcohol Free Drinks, Yes Or No?

May 5, 2018

At the start of my sober journey, my go-to drink was Becks Blue, I had to have a good stock in the fridge for the weekend ahead knowing it would stop any cravings or I would feel anxious and stressed if I didn’t have any in. The strange thing is I didn’t really drink a lot of lager when I was drinking alcohol, it was mainly wine or gin & tonic.

When I read Jason Vales book – Kick The Drink, he advises not to drink alcohol free drinks as they may trigger you to want the real thing. It’s probably the only piece of his advice that I don’t agree with, because for me the Becks Blue definitely helped, but I suppose different things work for different people.

As the months have passed, I haven’t needed the Becks Blue as much and I’m quite happy with a Diet Coke of sparkling water, but it always has to be in a wine glass though! I think a wine glass gives me the feeling of it being the weekend or a special occasion.

Last week I read a brilliant article in my husbands Mens Health Magazine, titled How To Party Like You Were Born In 1999. It’s basically saying how the younger generation drink a lot less now and that a quarter of adults under 25 are now tee total. Which is fab news! It goes on to say how young people are visiting dry bars where no alcohol is served and they are spending sober nights at dance exercise nights such as Ministry Does Fitness. It’s focusing on a healthy lifestyle and alternatives to getting leathered in your local pub, which is all really positive.

It also focuses on alcohol free drinks, and it’s this article that led me to DryDrinker.com. They have 100’s of non-alcoholic beverages on their site and I purchased a few for this Bank Holiday Weekend. We have two parties to go to and it’s just nice to take something along that looks more sophisticated than a bottle of Diet Coke.

I know in a lot of shops you struggle to find an alcohol free section, it’s normally a few bottles crammed on the bottom shelf! (Although I’ve found Booths have started stocking more). So it’s nice to have a wide selection so you can choose something for a special occasion, or just to treat yourself.

The article also stated that – just four cups of coffee a day can offset liver damage from alcohol by 80%, by reducing the build up of scar tissue. Now this is good news for me because I would say coffee is definitely my new drink of choice that I will not be giving up anytime soon!

So basically I would say if alcohol free drinks work for you and stops you picking up the booze then stick with it, and maybe look out for other alcohol free drinks to keep you on track. The link for DryDrinker.com is below.

I hope you all have some sunshine wherever you are, because it’s lovely here and that doesn’t happen very often!

If you have any tips or advice on alcohol free drinks or what’s helped you then please comment below!

Angie xx

https://drydrinker.com

Sober Celebrities ⭐️⭐️⭐️

April 29, 2018

When people think of a sober person, I’m sure uncool, boring and grey are possible words that would spring into some people’s minds! I’ve got to be honest, for a long time that’s probably what I would have thought of a non-drinker. I mean how on earth could someone be fun on a night out without having a drink?!?!

Obviously now I feel very differently and know for a fact that being sober does not make me boring, I’m nearly 100% sure that my friends and family would back me on that! I’m still up for nights out even more than before and I’ve also got this new found confidence to try things for the first time, push myself out of my comfort zone, grab life with two hands. Thats surely less boring than going home early because I’m too drunk after spilling my wine everywhere and falling over and repeating the same stories again and again!

Now as for sober not being cool, I cant really comment on my level of cool, because that would make me so not cool!!!! But you only have to look at the long list of sober celebs to see that sober doesn’t have to mean uncool or boring.

The latest list I saw was in Harper’s Bazaar and it included over 50 famous faces, detailing why they didn’t drink and what there thoughts on alcohol were. I admit some of them I had never heard of but certain celebs definitely stood out ……..

  • Bradley Cooper
  • Eminem
  • Calvin Harris
  • Lana Del Ray
  • Naomi Campbell
  • Tyra Banks
  • Rob Lowe
  • Eva Mendez
  • J Lo
  • Colin Farrell

Some have never enjoyed drinking and have hardly touched the booze, whilst others have enjoyed it too much and have had to stop. A lot state they have gone sober because alcohol started to make them feel bad both mentally and physically, and I can definitely relate to that!

So being sober doesn’t have to be boring or dull, and if anyone disagrees with you or questions that then just point them in the direction of Samuel L Jackson, Calvin Harris or 50 Cent!

Hope you enjoy reading the list!

Angie xx

The full list can be seen here from Harper’s Bazaar:-

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/g11644970/celebrities-who-dont-drink-alcohol/

 

Exercise – A Healthy Addiction!

April 26, 2018

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One of the reasons I started this blog was to document how my life has changed by stopping drinking and exercising more – hence the name!! But more importantly I hoped it would help anyone looking at making the same changes in their lives. Since I started blogging I have had a number of emails asking about my exercise programme, or how to get started. (All I can provide is advice based on my experience as I’m not qualified in this area! But hopefully it will help!)

I am certainly not someone who has always exercised, apart from playing netball at school, and having a 6 month period at a gym in my early twenties!  Exercise hasn’t been a big part of my life until recently! I was in my worst physical shape after having my two girls because being a mum was my priority (same as a lot of other mums out there), and it wasn’t until my youngest started preschool that I attempted to get myself back into shape.

To start off with I  began running, well jogging, well hyperventilating……. that just put me off and made me realise how out of shape I actually was, but it gradually got easier. Then a mum from school recommended the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred dvd, which started me off  using small hand weights. I was still drinking and my diet was all over the place but I gradually saw the weight coming off slowly. The problem was I would workout in the week, not drink most nights and not eat a lot most days, then by the time the weekend came around I would feel like I ‘deserved’ to drink and eat whatever I wanted, and not exercise – the weekend was my time off. Now this is fine and I totally agree with giving yourself a break and not being too strict with your diet but the problem was I would just feel so rubbish by Monday that it would take me until mid-week to get exercising and eating healthy again. I can see now that it was a crazy, vicious circle, but of course I couldn’t see that then!

So for me it was only when I stopped drinking that I saw a huge change in my energy levels and motivation to exercise.

About two years ago my friends boyfriend started his own personal training business and he introduced me to weight training.  I loved it from the start, lifting weights makes you focus on being strong, not skinny and that was a whole new way of thinking for me. I was still a bit hit and miss with exercising and would be committed for a few weeks then do nothing for a while. It was only when I stopped drinking that I started to exercise regularly. I started doing both weights and running and I began to see the change in my weight and body shape.  The main thing wasn’t what I was doing it was the fact that I was being consistent, there were no weeks off or hangovers that took over the beginning of the week and no weekend binges. Regular, consistent exercise and a healthy, balanced diet with weekend treats (sometimes daily treats!) is what has worked for me.

So am I addicted to exercise……? Erm I’m not sure really!! All I know is that it clears my head, lifts my mood, helps me deal with life better and I feel healthier than I have done in a long, long, long  time! Plus (and probably the most important) I eat more now than I have ever done!! Major bonus!

So if you’re trying to cut down or quit the booze, try to make regular, consistent exercise your focus. It doesn’t have to be anything too strenuous, just a daily walk or exercise dvd, just something to change your mindset and get you on track to being healthy and feeling fab!

And to anyone following me on the 100 day challenge, comment and let me know how its going? I’m going to be honest some days it has been hard for me to fit exercise in but I feel like I can’t give up now, so it’s keeping me on track! Hope its going well for you 100 day challengers – we’ve got this!!

Angie xx

Sober Nights Out!!

April 22, 2018

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So yesterday I hit my 17 month milestone!

I didn’t really do anything major to celebrate but whenever I hit a monthly milestone I will make sure I make time for something nice that day! even if its just grabbing a quiet cappucino somwehere! Yesterday my youngest was at a party all day and my hubbie was building a fence in the garden (because the puppy has decided he wants to eat wood chippings which are making him very poorly – long story!). So I managed to fit in some retail therapy and lunch with my eldest daughter, which was lovely because we very rarely get one on one time together. So that was my mini celebration!

By coincidence I had also arranged a night out with a group of friends from high school. So I wasn’t celebrating 17 months sober but it was perfect that it fell on that date. Now this is one of those lovely get togethers which would never have happened when I was drinking, purely due to logistics! They live a good twenty-minute drive away in all different directions and we  would have struggled to get a taxi there and back. But now I can quite happily pick everyone up, we can have a lovely meal, drinks and a catch up then I can get everyone home safe and sound before heading back myself.

I spoke in a previous post about how much I love my sober nights out (see Will I Lose Friends?) and honestly I never thought I would say those words! But take last night for example, meeting up with friends who I would never normally arrange anything with, chatting away, reminiscing, catching up on their lives and having a really good laugh! And the best bit is you get to remember it all!

In the past the thought of going out and not drinking just wasn’t an option for me, I have said before I was all or nothing when it came to drinking.  And I also started to get paranoid about getting a taxi on my own, so more often than not I would turn down invitations for nights out. How sad is that really? Now I love my nights out, I actually really enjoy the getting ready, feeling good, taking time to laugh, listen and appreciate my friends instead of concentrating on my next drink and chatting crap most of the night. So my nights out have definitely changed, but for the better.

I have always loved going out and I’m a bit of a social butterfly, and this was a huge concern to me that if I stopped drinking that the social side of things would dry up. But they haven’t, if anything I have more dates in my diary now than I ever have, because I have more options to do things with my friends and family, lunch, meals, concerts, musicals. Trying different places you have never been before because you can drive there. I can say “yes” to so much more! So if you like your nights out but want to cut down the drinking or give up altogether then please give it a go, try a sober night out even if it fills you with dread like it did with me. I promise you its a whole new world and you will never look back!

Hope your all feeling fab and fresh this sunday morning? If not, what can you do to change so that next sunday you will be? whats your experience of sober nights out? any tips or advice for others? or please email me for any help or advice at weightsnotwine@gmail.com

Ooooh and I also saw yesterday on the Sober Mummy (Clare Pooley) Facebook page that Eminem had his 10 year soberversary yesterday, so we sort of share the same date (well the 21st part of it anyway!!) how cool is that!!

Happy Sunday!

Angie xx