Author: Angie

You Don’t Have To Wait For Rock Bottom….

June 30, 2018

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

“Rock bottom has built more heroes than privilege.”

“Hitting rock bottom is an opportunity to rebuild yourself.”

Okay, so any of you who follow me on Instagram will know that I love my quotes!  To me a good quote that you can relate to and connect with, can totally change your attitude and outlook at least for that day.

Now when you look-up sobriety quotes or read recovery books or even just talk to people about sobriety, “Rock Bottom” is mentioned a lot!

  • When did you know you had hit rock bottom?
  • What was your rock bottom?
  • How bad was it?
  • What did you do, how bad was it?

And for some people yes, they may have hit an all time low, a rock bottom, done a horrendous thing to make them realise they have a problem with drinking and this is their wake up call.  The only was is up!

I didn’t hit rock bottom.   Speaking for myself, as a 42 year old mum my life isn’t wild enough for my drinking to take me to rock n roll, rock bottom adventures.  Apart from the odd night out, or party where I would do something to embarrass myself (normally falling over or out of the taxi, or saying something with zero filter!) my drinking habits were just slowly but surely zapping the life out of me, and making me more boring than wild!

I was still a fully functioning person, a mum,  wife, running my own business and just keeping everything running smoothly.  On the outside I looked normal (well as normal as I can!) but inside I felt like I was getting old before my time, my confidence was low, my energy low, I had little to no patience and I just had no sense of adventure or love for life.

As I have said before, it took me months of trying to quit before I actually succeeded.   It was a slow decision, my mind was constantly torn between moderating, quitting and drinking plans so I didn’t feel rough over the weekend.  Once I did stop drinking I didn’t have to think about it anymore, that feeling is unbelievable and gives you so much more room to think about what you love.  I just so wish I had done it sooner and that is seriously my only regret.  I now feel so much stronger both physically and mentally and feeling like I am living life as my best self and not just a washed out version like I used to be.  We all know the dreaded beer fear that you get after a boozy weekend, where anything and everything makes you anxious or depressed, well that’s now gone.  I feel confident and fresh every morning, including Mondays, I even posted about how much I love them here!Magic Mondays Not Manic Mondays!

One thing that really is annoying is when people just assume that hitting rock bottom is why you stopped drinking! Or assume that you ‘cant drink’  If people just took the time to ask they would realise that I didnt hit rock bottom and I don’t drink because I don’t WANT to drink.  That is my personal choice and the best choice I have ever made for my mental and physical health, myself and my family.

The Recovery Village did a fab article on this:-

“So how do we change before we hit rock bottom? It boils down to an individuals willingness to change and recognise the path their life is taking.  Addiction thrives on a person living in denial of whats really going on.  Rock bottom isn’t for everyone because the worst case scenario does not have to be when someone decides that changing their life is worth it.  It should be a matter of getting honest with ourselves, and making the daily choice to change their life around.

If you are currently struggling, you can change your life around today.  Not a few months from now or a few years down the road but RIGHT NOW.  Rock bottom doesn’t have to be on the cards for you. Regain control of your life by putting an end to what is bringing you down.”

And that is exactly the message that I am trying to send, whatever it is that you are unhappy with, just make that change.  Dont wait for things to get worse or hit rock bottom.  Start today. Stop saying you will start Monday, next month or next year.  Life is seriously too short to be at war with yourself.  Make today the first day of your journey to becoming the best version of you and start living the life you love!

I hope your all having a happy, healthy, sunny Saturday!

Angie

 

 

 

Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

June 22, 2018

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Ok so firstly I’ve just got to say I hate the term ‘Triggers’!!! It sounds so extreme, like the millisecond moment of weakness that sends you on a three-day bender and finds you waking up in a different country, with no recollection of how you got there!!! (I know this may have happened to some people but thankfully I was nowhere near that level of drinking!)

Basically a ‘trigger’ is something that takes you off your track of sobriety (or diet, giving up smoking/drugs anything you’re trying to give up) It can be a certain time a day, an event, a person, a feeling, the weather, anything that gives you that urge and desire to have a drink.

One of the reasons it took me so long to stop drinking was that I would predict the urge to have a drink, and sort of talk myself out of ‘not’ drinking before I had even started. It’s only now that I realise how crazy that was! So for example even if I had a quiet weekend coming up, but the weekend after we would be having a night out with friends I would think ‘well I may as well drink this weekend because there’s no way I could go out next weekend and not drink’! I would already be feeling anxious about going out and being the only one not drinking, I had already given in to the trigger of a night out that was two weeks away!

Yesterday I hit nineteen months of not drinking, and I can honestly say I’ve possibly had less than ten times when something has triggered me into wanting a drink. Instead of calling them triggers I prefer to think of them as the drinks I missed, but didn’t miss it enough to pick up a glass and give in.

The first was in the December after I had stopped in the November, so it was early days.  I had put the Christmas tree up with the girls and we had decorated it together. Now normally, my tradition would be to have a glass of mulled wine once we had finished, and then I would slowly carry on for the rest of the day. That’s the first time I had the urge to drink, my first trigger, but instead we decorated the tree then walked down to the local café for cake and hot chocolate, walking back when it was getting dark and seeing the house all a glow with lights was lovely.  Something I will never forget and something I would definitely not have done after a bottle of mulled wine!!!!

Obviously Christmas and New Years are a big time for drinking but I was already reaping the benefits by then of not drinking and was feeling good so I didn’t want to spoil that. Plus it was a novelty to feel so fresh and full of energy over Christmas and New Years and make the most of the time together as a family.

Birthdays and celebrations are a big trigger for some people, although I haven’t really found this a struggle.  My birthday is in August so I already had ten months of not drinking under my belt by then, so I wasnt going to ruin that.  Birthdays are also a great time to remind your other half how much money you’ve saved by not drinking! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!)

Holidays are a biggie, because it’s a time when you probably drink more than normal, this can be when people given into temptation. We had a beach holiday booked In my first year, luckily it wasn’t all-inclusive so that sort of helped!  The hardest time was the night before we went on holiday because normally that’s when the wine would be flowing, in full on ‘Holiday mode’  I struggled because I was so excited and just wanted the night to pass quickly so we could set off (bit like being a child really!) but I just kept myself busy and the feeling went away. I’ve done a past blog on sober holidays which you can read here, Happy, Healthy Holidays! so I won’t go into too much detail but I got through the holiday with no problems.  This year we did go all-inclusive and I didn’t have one thought to have an alcoholic drink.  Something, that nineteen months ago I would have thought impossible!

Surprisingly camping holidays hit me harder than a beach holiday!! Once the tent is up and we are unpacked I would religiously sit down with a beer.  The first time I  went camping that really made me want to crack, but a Becks Blue sort of quenched my thirst and then I got more involved playing with the kids and it passed, any campers will know there’s always something that needs doing!

I have found that two of my main triggers are boredom and people! I have to be with people who I can laugh with, have good chats with, people who I can be myself with. And I do not enjoy being bored or lazy, sat talking rubbish, or watching garbage on the tv whilst I down a bottle of wine! As a result I’ve got true friends who get me and I get them and I love being in their company.  And I’ve now got a really active lifestyle, taking on more challenges and filling my life with more than I’ve ever done.

I have realised that a lot of the times I wanted to drink were linked to traditions and habit, what I would ‘usually’ do. But think of the saying ‘if you keep on doing what you’ve always done you will keep on getting what you’ve always got!’ This is so true. Yes it was hard to deal with those triggers, it was difficult to do something differently. But it’s only the first time or the first few times that its hard, it then becomes the norm. The new, sober you becomes the normal you, and you will do all of those things sober and believe me you will enjoy them so much more. It feels like a whole new world, you’re experiencing things in a different light and the best part is…….. you get to remember it all!

So if you’ve struggled with a certain trigger whatever that may be, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just put it down to experience and move on, knowing that next time you won’t let it defeat you. I think feeling anxious is normal, but just literally talk yourself through it a minute at a time. Just breathe and tell yourself you can do it, and you know what, YOU CAN!

What have been your triggers? How do you deal with them? Any tips or advice for others?

Hope it’s a happy, healthy weekend for you!!

Angie xx

See What Happens If you Don’t Give Up….

June 16, 2018

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Are you sick of starting over?  Sick of yet another Day One? Yet another attempt to start a diet, eat healthy or kick the booze!

Before I stopped drinking for good I had a LOT of day ones!  I had been trying to stop drinking for around twelve to eighteen months before I actually quit.  I attempted Dry January and even tried to give up alcohol for lent once (it nearly killed me!).  But once I failed at it,  I would just convince myself I couldn’t do it and would feel so mad and disappointed with myself that I couldn’t succeed at what I was trying to do.  When I look back at it now, those unsuccessful attempts where my practice runs, which all lead to one day it just clicking in place and giving up for good.  So if you’re experiencing the same thing and you really do want to stop drinking because you’ve  gone a certain period of time and know how good it feels, then don’t give up, eventually you will have your last day one and stick with it for good.

Now I’ve got the stopping drinking part ticked off, but I feel like I have hit a plateau fitness wise!  i am struggling! Today is day 60 of my 100 day challenge and setting the challenge has definitely helped me be consistent with exercising everyday but I do feel like it has made me be more relaxed with my diet.  I’ve been thinking “well I have been exercising every day so why not eat cake!”  which is obviously counteracting my exercise efforts and I feel like I have hit a plateau.

So even though some days I have thought, what’s the point?  I know that giving up is not an option!  I have been looking at what I can do to mix things up a bit and get back on track.

Because I do a lot of my workouts at home, I looked into online programmes such as Kayla Istines and Beachbody but after looking into it I thought I would be paying for something that I have done and can do myself! I can get myself to that next level of fitness, I don’t need to pay a monthly subscription for someone to tell me what I already know!  After reading up on it I have found a book that’s come highly recommended and will hopefully give me lots of tips and information on taking my fitness to the next level and its ‘Thinner, Leaner, Stronger’ by Michael Matthews.  Full of training tips, diet information and what supplements to take, that will hopefully give me a fresh focus and get me out of this plateau.

One of my main aims is to get a six-pack (or I would be happy with 2-4 pack to be honest!)  After two children my core is definitely my weak area and this is what I want to focus on.  The old me would have given up, thinking what’s the point of trying to get into shape at 42?  But that’s the old voice that didn’t believe in me! Stopping drinking has definitely given me a new-found confidence,  and a belief that I can do this, its made me believe in myself!

If your following me on Instagram I will hopefully post some updates and before and after pics to see if my new plan is working, and of course I will share any tips and advice on here too!

Have any of you read this book? Or do you have any tips for when your fitness level hits a plateau?  Also how many day ones did you have before it finally became your last and you’ve kicked the booze for good? Lets help each other on this journey and see what happens when we don’t give up!

Hope you have a healthy and happy weekend!

Angie xx

 

Magic Mondays Not Manic Mondays!

June 11, 2018

Correct me if I’m wrong but Mondays very rarely get credit for being “good” days! I mean there has even been songs about how rubbish they are!

Mondays for me are one of the days I appreciate the most since I have stopped drinking, now they feel like one of the best days of the week. A fresh start, feeling recharged after the weekend and ready to tackle what lies ahead. They are one of the mornings, apart from Saturday and Sunday that I just really appreciate not having a hangover or feeling blah after a weekend of piggin out and drinking.

Rewind eighteen months ago and I used to dread a Monday morning. That feeling of dread would start on a Sunday night, around tea time, and I would be pouring another glass of wine to drown out that dread. I would start feeling anxious and just unable to cope with the things I had to do in the week ahead.

Now I still have the stress of things to do, but the anxiety has gone (90% of the time anyway!) And instead I spend an hour on a Sunday night preparing for the week ahead, planning my work, getting things in my diary and writing lots of lists! (I am definitely a list girl!). So I have still got the same amount of things to do, probably more now because I am generally doing more with my time now that I don’t drink, but my mind is just in a better place. I’ve not got the anxiety or the feeling of not being able to cope, and that is certainly down to me stopping drinking.

Monday morning was also the day I would start a crash diet, or crazy health kick after knowing I had over indulged all weekend. So I would set myself unrealistic goals including a strict exercise plan or start off the week starving myself. I mean you would have thought a woman in her forties would realise how that was gonna workout??? Yep by Wednesday I would be feeling like a failure and eating whatever, already thinking “I will start next Monday!”

Now my Monday’s are pretty much like every other day. I try to fit in whatever exercise I can, if I’ve a quiet ish day it will be a full weights workout like I did this morning, or if I have a lot on with work it will be a quick dog walk or ab workout. I will be careful with my diet and limit any treats if I’ve had a lot over the weekend but in general I will just be eating the same as I do on most days.

So now for me Monday’s feel good, I feel fresh and armed to face the week ahead. And I think what I could have got done all of those Monday’s I spent waiting for the day to finish because I felt so rubbish! They were just totally wasted days.

When I first stopped drinking I can remember looking forward to Monday mornings and wanting to skip up the school drive with the kids. But I didn’t obviously! Imagine how that would annoy someone who was feeling how I used to feel, not good! But inside I was skipping and loving these new Monday mornings that I had discovered. They were actually a huge motivator for me to not drink over the weekend because I loved the feeling of a hangover free Monday morning, and they still never get old.

It’s never too late to start, use today to chase your dreams and get closer to your goals whatever they may be! Wether it’s drinking less or stopping altogether, exercising more, eating healthy and getting in shape. Just start today!!

Have you any tips on how you prepare for the week ahead? Are your Monday’s totally different after quitting the booze? Any advice for others looking to do the same?

And I apologise in advance if you spend the rest of the day singing “just another manic Monday” because it’s been in my head all morning too!!

Hope you all have a happy, healthy Monday

Angie xx

Get Back To Being YOU!

June 4, 2018

 

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This morning I waved my eldest daughter off on her first ever residential school trip.  Her whole class is off the Lake District for five days of canoeing, caving, high ropes, barrel rafting and jetty jumping.  It sounds amazing!! Did I feel emotional when I kissed her goodbye at the coach this morning? yes, but I surprisingly didn’t even cry.  Her excitement for the week ahead was just so contagious I felt more excited than emotional! The whole class was just a bundle of bubbling excitement as they lined up to get on the coach, and I am so excited for her, yes of course I will miss her but she will be  having the time of her life!

I have mentioned in previous posts that since I have stopped drinking I feel as though I am on the same level as my children when it comes to being excited about events and occasions, it’s almost as though I have gone back to being a child again! (hence the picture!)

Jason Vale has a fab section about this in his book ‘Kick The Drink’ , he states:-

“When you stop drinking, you actually return to normal.  We never needed alcohol before we started drinking: the need arose afterwards.  I remember going to parties as a child and I didn’t need alcohol to enjoy myself.  I never feared Christmas or birthdays would be a disaster without alcohol…………. I never thought I would become so lethargic and tired that my main source of pleasure would come from a bottle……. When I was a child I never thought I would end up like the adults I saw.”

When I read his book, this really struck a chord with me, when did we start needing alcohol to have fun?

In the picture above the 7-year-old me is ready for a party, we only took pictures on special occasions like parties or holidays!  Can you remember just being totally excited for what lies ahead, seeing your friends, the games, the food, the party bag, you didn’t need to have a drink to enjoy a party!  Fast forward to my twenties and I wouldn’t have gone to a party if I wasnt drinking, gosh it would have been my idea of total hell, what socialize sober???

Jason Vale believes that alcohol creates the fears that that makes us drink in the first place.  So if you have low confidence, you drink to make you more chatty and relaxed, but it’s not you it’s the alcohol and if anything the next day you feel more withdrawn and anxious than ever.  But once you get into the habit of drinking, you feel as though you need it to have fun and enjoy yourself! I know for a fact that I drank more when I was unhappy with my body and poor fitness level. Drinking made me forget that I wasn’t feeling confident in how I looked, which is crazy because the calories from the drink and food binges that followed the day after, were doing nothing to help my body confidence and in fact making it worse.  It has taken me a long time to break away from this vicious cycle.

When you remove the alcohol you find yourself doing things that you really want to do, just like children do. What do you really enjoy doing? what makes you smile? As a child I was never still, I was always out on my bike, in the garden or on a friends farm and when I stopped drinking I wanted to go on this health kick and try to get in my best possible shape, have more energy so I could be an active mum and have an active life, like I used to have. I feel like I have found my lust for life again.  My next move is a career change and I am hopefully looking  at moving into the fitness industry, its very early stages yet but watch this space!

If you’re looking at stopping drinking or cutting down, firstly think what is making you pick up the glass in the first place?  If it’s to make you feel more confident, then work out why you lack confidence and work on that without the booze because it makes things worse in the long run.  Do you drink to de-stress? What’s making you stressed? Try treating yourself to a massage, reading a book, having a long soak in the bath with your favourite music.  Do you drink to just have fun? then seriously question what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with!! And when it comes to special occasions or holidays, these are fab, happy times anyway, do you really need to drink to enjoy them? If you haven’t tried these events sober, you will never know.  Dig deep and ask yourself, “Why do I need to drink?” “What made me start drinking?”

If you haven’t already read Jason Vales’s book I highly recommend it, it was definitely a game changer for me*, and it makes you see why you actually drink, in a totally different light! (*Along with Clare Pooleys Sober Diaries)

Now the house is very quiet, whilst my eldest is off spreading her wings and loving and living life, truly enjoying the moment! I’m already counting down the days until she returns and to hear about all of the things she got up to!! ( previously I would have used her being away as an excuse to have a drink every night this week, to take my mind off it! But not now, I am going to get through a list of jobs I have been putting off for months  then lose myself in Love Island every night this week!)

Credit to Jason Vale & Kiona LLanos for the quote.

Angie xx

 

Strong Is Definitely My New Skinny!

May 28, 2018

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I just love this caption – “Strong is the new skinny!”

For me this is so true, after spending a lifetime wanting to be skinny (my role models were Kate Moss & Posh Spice ) and going on crazy diets, I have finally over this last year and a half changed my mindset.  I now want to be healthy and I want to feel strong both inside and out.

There has definitely been a shift in the media and female body images, I mean look at how many strong, healthy, realistic  role models are out there.  There are also a lot of fitness influencers out there too, and to be honest I would rather follow those on instagram than a celebrity anyway!

You only have to look on Instagram or Pinterest and there are so many motivational quotes:  ‘Sore today – strong tomorrow’,  Look like a beauty – lift like a beast’, ‘I’m not just strong for a girl –  Im just strong!’  All promoting strong, healthy women.  I love this and I hope this continues so that my girls grow up with this positive body image around them.  Its something that is realistic and achievable.

I posted recently about milestones and celebrating them in anyway you like, you can read it here at All Milestones Matter, Big Or Small………… So for my eighteen month sober milestone I treated myself to some new gym wear.  I have recently become an ambassador  for Just Strong Clothing, and I have to say I love their range and what their brand stands for.  They have created fabulous workout wear, and have numerous embassadors who are strong women, portraying a healthy lifestyle and image. You can follow them on Facebook and Instagram and they have an amazing community of women who are all just trying to be the best version of themselves, regadless of their shape or size they are just focusing on being strong both physically and mentally.  Imagine if all women focused on feeling strong, just think what we could achieve!

I have included the link below to visit their website and if you use my code ANGIEFAIR10 you will get 10% discount too!

So if you’re coming up to a special milestone, or just need an incentive to get back into working out or even just need a little retail therapy (like we need an excuse!), then have a look and treat yourself –  you deserve it!!

just strong clothing

Angie xx

 

My Girls – My Wake Up Call!

May 22, 2018

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Here are three photos, the two on the left were taken a few years ago, the one on the right was in December 2017.  In all three photos I am smiling and happy, of course I am I’ve got the arms of my children around me!  Anyone who knows me knows that my girls are my world and for those who don’t know me, I am hoping you’ve picked that up from my blog and Instagram! Like most of us out there I have always tried to be a good mum, I have tried my best to do the right thing for my girls and that has always been the same, if I was drinking or not.  But there are a lot of ways that I now feel like I am giving my girls the best version of me and the best mum that I can be!

A lot of alcohol free experts state that if you are trying to give up alcohol for someone else then you won’t succeed, and  I’m not sure I fully agree with that?  I know for a fact that my girls are my motivation to stop drinking.  I want to be the best mum that I can be for them, I want to feel good all of the time,be healthy and full of energy for them, especially at the weekends when we have time to spend together.

The main thing for me is that they have my full attention whan they want it, well most of the time anyway!  We’ve all been there, a few glasses of wine down on a Friday evening and your ready to relax, your maybe trying to get the children to bed earlier or rushing their bedtime story to get down stairs to your next glass.   This doesn’t make you a bad parent it just means that you associate your down time and relaxation with a glass of wine, and that is easier to do when the kids are in bed.

It’s exactly the same when friends used to come around, I felt as though I would just go into wine world and leave the kids to it watching a dvd or playing.  This didn’t make me a bad mum,  it’s just that after 2-3 glasses the next glass became my priority.

My eldest, who was ten when I stopped drinking had definitely started to notice these times, when my attention was focused on the wine.  There are a few occasions that I will never forget and I honestly still feel bad about, when she said I hadn’t tucked her into bed properly or on a camping trip when she had been trying to get to sleep and I was cackling away taking rubbish outside of the tent! OMG cringe!  It was these times, that thankfully were few and far between, that I felt so so bad because I had upset her without realising it at the time.  She was growing up and starting to take notice, and I was noticing that she was noticing!  This definitely made me want to change.

Now I feel fully present for my kids, I am trying to give them the best version of me. We all know that being a parent is bloody hard work, sober or drinking but I definitely find that quitting the booze has helped me a lot.

I feel calmer, with no hangovers or feeling desperate to get a wine down me in the evenings at the weekends, I feel more chilled and patient with them (not all the time obviously!) I have energy to keep up with them and do what they want to do, most importantly I feel on their level of excitement, so for example at Christmas, Birthdays, or holidays, anything really that they are excited about, I am on that level with them.  Children don’t need alcohol to have a good time, they are genuinely excited about what they are doing not where the next drink is coming from.  The beauty of being sober is that I can now relate to that, I am with them on that level of pure joy and excitement for whats ahead!

I read a post on Instagram last week from a sober site that said sober parents are giving their children another option in life, and that is so true.  My girls can see that you don’t have to drink, there is an option to go out, have a life, celebrate Christmas, Birthdays etc and be sober.

So if you have got children just think they may be taking in more than you realise with regards to your drinking patterns, and if you change how you are after a few drinks they will possibly pick up on that.  Both my girls have told me that they prefer me not drinking, they say I am more “mummy like”  at the weekends!  And although I wont be turning into Mary Poppins anytime soon, I am so happy I have made the change when I did, whilst they are still young enough to want the more “mummy like” me tucking them in every night and not rushing downstairs for her next glass of wine!

Angie xx

 

 

A Sliding Doors Weekend…..

May 18, 2018

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This weekend is what I call a ‘Sliding Doors’ weekend!  Does anyone remember the Gwyneth Paltrow, Sliding Doors film from 1998 (yes 1998! couldn’t believe it was that long ago when I googled it, OMG twenty years ago!!!!!)  Anyway the film is a story of the two lives of a girl, one if she missed a train and one if she caught the train.  Just that one small second of the doors closing on the train changed her whole life and you see how her life is so different, its worth a watch if you haven’t seen it!

Ok so your thinking “how is this linked to stopping drinking?” well I use the ‘sliding doors’ phrase a lot since I stopped drinking.  For me its a way of thinking how certain events, weekends, occasions, would pan out differently if I was drinking.  So for example if I have been  on a girls night out, had a fab time, a real laugh, good food, picked everyone up and dropped everyone off, got home safe,  updated my husband on the night, washed my makeup off (I love this part of being sober instead of waking up with it glued on me and my pillow!) I then settle into bed and think how different my night would have been if I had been drinking, that’s my sliding doors moment.

So this weekend is a pretty busy one, the sun is shining and it’s definitely a sliding doors weekend for me!

To start with we are out tonight with the kids, to celebrate my eldest daughter getting through her Year 6 exams this week, she’s been very calm through it all and quietly confident that she’s done well. What more could I ask for! We are planning to go for a nice meal, I will drive so no taxis to pay for or arguing over who’s driving and I’m looking forward to some lovely food and a good catch up with my hubbie and the kids after a hectic week.  Then not too late home because I want to be up early for a run tomorrow.  So if I had been drinking, it would be wine before going out, wine with my meal, I would probably have a huge pig out because my head would be saying – diet starts Monday! Then once the kids are in bed I would stay up later drinking and although I wouldn’t be falling over drunk I would definitely be feeling the effects and also tired, uncomfortably full in a carb coma and annoyed with myself for having no self control!

Saturday we are having people round to watch the Royal Wedding then planning on going to watch the football at the local pub (hubbies suggestion!)  So previously that would be a full day of drinking and “celebrating” into the early evening, with no other option to do anything else once you’ve been drinking most of the day!  But instead I’m still looking forward to a lovely weekend doing those things but I just feel like I can enjoy doing other things too.  So because my day isn’t focused on drinking I can also fit in my exercise, baking with the girls then we are planning a family DVD night later on and a takeaway.

Sunday I’m taking the dog to puppy training class early morning then a family day out somewhere for a walk, weather depending!  I mean can you imagine puppy training with a raging hangover,  no thanks!!  Mixed in with all of this is cooking, homework, feeding and watering people and keeping up with my 100 day challenge. So it’s easy to see how I don’t have time for wine and hangovers!

If I was still drinking I would still do the main things we have planed this weekend but I know I would be feeling rubbish, tired, waiting to have a glass of wine to make me feel better.  When I think of it now it seems crazy but I was stuck in that pattern for a long, long time.  Stopping drinking has made me get so much more out of life, I’ve just got this energy that makes me want to get up every morning and make the most of it – especially at the weekend,  enjoying precious family time that I want to treasure and remember!

So its only Friday afternoon………. if you know you will be spending the majority of this weekend  feeling rubbish after too much alcohol,  or you just know that you wont have the energy to do what you really want to do, just take a minute to think, have a sliding doors moment!  If you don’t drink, how much better will your weekend be? How much more energy will you have? What can you do with that time and energy? How do you really want to spend your weekend? Just think, you can maximise your weekend and better still waking up feeling amazing on Monday morning!

Have a lovely weekend and I hope the sun is shining for you wherever you are 🙂

Angie xx

credit to powerofpositivity.com for the pic x

 

All Milestones Matter, Big Or Small……

May 13, 2018

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“REMEMBER TO CELEBRATE MILESTONES AS YOU PREPARE FOR THE ROAD AHEAD” – Nelson Mandela

This is a picture of the inside of my wardrobe!  Each picture, drawn by my girls, marks a milestone of me not drinking.  From my first one hundred days, to the Pizza Express Hat that they gave me when we went out to celebrate a year of me not drinking.  I don’t think I will ever take these down, and I know for certain I will never throw them away, they mean so much to me!

Milestones, targets, goals whatever you want to call them are so important when you first decide you want a break from the booze.  You may just be aiming for a month of not drinking, but make sure you do something to mark that achievement once you’ve got there.

I know a lot of people talk about the first 100 days of not drinking being the hardest time and that at around 100 days the magic happens and it gets easier.  Personally I knew from the outset that I wanted to get to a year so the 100 days mark felt like a huge achievement but I knew I still had a long way to go.  I think it just helps to break it up when you’re aiming for a certain number of days initially, then once you get to that point you feel so good you just want to carry on.  That’s what happened for me anyway!

At first the thought of not drinking “forever” scared me, I just could not think that far ahead.  My main aim was Christmas, then New Year, then 100 days, 200 days and so on.  I’m now counting in months in my head and will probably only celebrate my sober date every year now.  I couldn’t fit any more pictures in my wardrobe anyway if it was every 100 days!

You also need to make sure that you treat yourself when you hit a milestone, whether it’s a shopping trip or a meal out with friends or family, just something to look forward to and just give yourself a minute to say – well done me!.  I bought myself a little somthing every 100 days then my husband bought me a new Pandora Charm when I got to 12 months.  It’s a number one which is a lovely reminder of what I achieved, but the pictures from the girls are just as precious.  Now every month, on the 21st (the date I quit) I try to make sure that I make time to do a little something for me, even if it’s just a coffee in a café before the school pick up, just something a little special for that day.

Other times milestones can be the first time you’ve done something or been somewhere and not had a drink, so a night out, a holiday, a birthday, Christmas or New Years Eve, they are all milestones and once the first one is ticked off you know that you will nail it next time.  There is a lady who follows me on Instagram who has just had her first sober girls night in and loved it!  It can even be something as simple as your first hangover free Saturday or Sunday morning, they always feel amazing but the first ones are the best!

So just take some time to put your goals and milestones in place and stay focused, just take one step at a time to get there, don’t think past that point.  Thinking that you’re not going to have a drink ever again is a scary thought initially and is probably enough to make you pick up a glass of wine straight away!  But just break it down, step by step and day by day.  You will get there and I guarantee  that once you’ve hit that first milestone, you will feel so good you will want to move onto the next.  Once you hit one hundred days you will want to go onto two hundred, once you’ve done a sober Christmas or birthday feeling amazing and enjoying every moment of it, you will know that you can do it and will want to do it again and again!  I promise it just gets better and better!  Just make a start, set that goal,  hit that first milestone and congratulate yourself when you get there!

If your thinking about making a change, set your first goal now, tonight, just do it! Tell me what it is then we can encourage one another! Have you hit any milestones recently?, big or small they are all important and they all make up your journey! You can do this!

Angie xx

The 80/20 Rule Works For Me!

May 10, 2018

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Last week I posted –  Eat like you love yourself…..and following on from that I’ve had  a couple of emails asking what foods I incorporate into my daily diet.  The main thing that works for me is the 80/20 Rule, where I eat clean and healthy most of the time but I don’t restrict myself, I keep it flexible and listen try to listen to my body.

As you all know I am not a qualified nutritionist or dietician but I certainly know what works for me.  In my previous post I explained how I have done a million diets in the past (which haven’t worked, no surprise there!) and now I have finally found a way of eating that works for me.

I try to stay as flexible as possible with my meals, and not get too obsessed with what I should and shouldn’t eat.  I definitely have an addictive personality, which I’m sure some of you reading this do too if alcohols a problem for you, so that’s why I try to stay flexible and not too strict.  I don’t count calories, I don’t restrict food groups and I have  never counted macros (I don’t even know what a macro actually is!)

So here’s just a general breakdown of my meals and what I eat in a normal week, as I said previously I’m not an expert and this is not an eating plan for people to follow but if you can pick up a couple of healthy alternatives from it then that’s a good thing!

Breakfast is normally a protein smoothie, made with frozen berries, protein powder, chia seeds and wheatgrass powder.  Or alternatively I will have protein porridge with all the same ingredients as the smoothie mixed into my porridge.  To be honest breakfast is all about speed and getting out of the door with the kids, washed, dressed with any extra school bags, musical instruments or tennis racquets they need that day!

For lunch I will make an omelette or sweet potato with tuna salad or I will make an open egg or tuna salad sandwich on rye bread with avocado.  Again what I have depends on how busy my day is, sometimes its left over tea from the night before!

For evening meals I always have what I make for the rest of the family (unless its pasta which I hate!)  There are two reasons why, one is that its easier and secondly I have two young girls who have a healthy attitude to food and are body confident (so far!).  I never want to make food an issue for them, I never want them to have food or body issues like I used to have.  So I will make a chilli, chicken stir fry, roast chicken – just a healthy as possible version of a family meal really. I cook a lot in my slower cooker too so its just less stress at a busy tea time!

I snack (a lot) on fruit, nuts, peanut butter on oatcakes, greek yoghurt and frozen berries, dark chocolate. I try to stay away from crisps or biscuits which I used to eat daily and once I start on those I can’t stop.  I’ve found by eating more regularly and staying full on healthy stuff,  it keeps me away from unhealthy snacking, that’s the plan anyway!

Fluid wise I make sure I drink at least two litres of water a day, I’m trying to get back into my green tea but at the moment my coffee addiction is getting in the way!

Weekends are much more flexible and we nearly always have a takeaway on a Saturday night, followed by treats and then most Sundays I do a big roast and a pudding.  What’s good is that I don’t feel guilty for eating the unhealthy stuff  because I know that most of the time I’m eating clean.

Quitting the booze has obviously also been a huge factor for me!  I mean just think of the extra calories you can save by not drinking! I would always skip the pudding for an extra glass of red, then probably come home and raid the biscuit tin anyway!  Not drinking means that I don’t have the weekend long food and drink binges and i am no longer repeating the “Sod it, i will start Monday!” scenario.

Most importantly, not drinking will enable your liver to work at its best.  An article in Women’s Health Magazine stated that excess alcohol can turn to fat in your liver and can raise the amount of fat in your blood, so its more likely to be stored in your body as fat.  And don’t forget after a couple of glasses of wine, all your good diet intentions go out of the window and who wants to do that morning workout with a raging hangover! So you can see how reducing your alcohol intake, or cutting out alcohol completely if that’s easier to do (for me it was) can help if you’re trying to lose weight.

Writing this has made me realise how much of a foodie I actually am now compared to when I was drinking! Just think of all those puddings I have missed out on for another glass of the same old red wine! Tragic!!!!!

Any questions or tips, then please comment or email me direct and  please find me on Instagram if you haven’t all ready, @liftingweightsnotwine

Angie

ps – oh and the meal pics above are taken when I was on holiday last month (my meals at home are normally just thrown on a plate!)  Lots of lovely fresh, healthy,delicious food, plus two puddings a day! (I put the token fruit with the puddings to make me feel better!!! 😉 )