Category: sober support

“7 Sober Lessons From 7 Years Sober!”

November 21, 2023

Today marks my 7 years sober milestone!!!!! I keep going from thinking how is it 7 years?, to feeling like I have been sober forever. The old drinking me is someone I just do not know, I have no connection to her anymore – thankfully she’s a total stranger BUT she taught me some lessons!

It feels like a huge milestone and something I want to celebrate with you guys and also give back. For those who are in the early days and seven days seems impossible never mind 7 years, ( I was that girl) I want to share the top seven things I have learned so far :

Lesson ONE – The sober me is the real me!

The sober you is the real, authentic you. Its who you were made to be! You discover such a sense of self awareness when you lose the booze and you will find that a new you emerges. You will be truer to yourself, you will say YES to what you love, you will create stronger friendships and relationships as you are the true version of you.

I used to be a constant people pleaser, changing who I was to please others – it was so draining. Alcohol helped me put on whatever persona I needed for the situation. I didn’t know myself I was so busy being whatever I needed to be for other people. Now my focus is being the real me and doing what I love! And once you are in that mindset you attract everything that is meant for the authentic you!

Lesson TWO – There is sooooooo much more to life!

When I was drinking, alcohol would be the CENTRE of everything! What time are we drinking? will there be booze? Who else is drinking? What time does the bar open? I would use any excuse I could find to involve alcohol. I didn’t give myself a chance to even TRY and have fun without it!

Now my life is full of so many amazing things, I have said yes to opportunities that the drinking me would have just sat and dreamed about. Girls like me didn’t do things like that! Well the sober me changed that and you can too! You can dance, get on a stage, change your career, ugly belly laugh, see the world and live a full and exciting life sober – use you new found sober confidence to go out and grab that new sober life, its out there waiting!

Lesson THREE – Sober Sleep Is Another Level

In the early days of my sober journey I would head off to bed super early with a hot choc and a book, to take me out of the way of temptation and get myself our of the habit of drinking on the settee AND because sober sleep is a luxury. There is no better feeling than your head hitting the pillow and you know you will be getting an uninterrupted 8 hours, and even better you have done your skincare, brushed your teeth and made it into your pj’s – I like being a little extra and spraying my pillow mist too!

Compare that to passing our on the settee or flopping into bed after drinking, makeup on, teeth not brushed and already massively dehydrated! Just to wake up three hours later sweating, feeling sick, total anxiety and the worst wine breath. We all know that feeling and its no wonder we wake up feeling drained and tired and once again waiting for wine time to feel better!

Lesson FOUR – Life’s not perfect, and that’s ok!

I used to always want to be in control of a situation, which is so crazy as drinking saw me lose all self control. Now I can handle change, disappointment and the days that just aren’t that great, so much better than before. I would always make it all about me – how I was affected, how I had been let down, poor little old me – who would need wine to help her feel better.

If I told you the past seven years have seen me skipping through pink fields with unicorns everyday, I would be lying! Of course I still have rubbish days, still feel let down, still have to change my plans or my direction – but now I’m much better equipped to take a deep breath, learn from it and move on. I guess I’ve got a sober tool kit and my new way of dealing with things – which I have had to learn for myself along the way. Exercise, walks, retail therapy, decluttering, working, spending time with those I love – are all ways for me to deal with those feelings that used to have me reaching for a couple of bottles of wine. It takes time to find out what works for you but its good to know that when things fall apart you have things to turn to to get through.

Lesson FIVE – I’m a better Mum, Daughter, Wife and Friend

They say you love the ones you hurt the most and the I think the drinking you is the most selfish version of you. When I was drinking I would get to the point that all that mattered was having that next drink, I would say things I couldn’t remember, let people down, embarrass myself and those I loved – all for alcohol.

Its good to know that now I’m giving the people I love the best of me, ALL of the time! My girls will forever be my reason why, they were 7 & 10 when I quit and just starting to notice I was different when the wine was around. And although I regret not stopping sooner I’m so glad I stopped when I did so they have fewer memories of how I was then. I just know I’m a better person, I am more tuned in, I can pick up on peoples feelings, I look out for those I love and I want to nurture the relationships I have with my family and friends now.

Lesson SIX – Wine is not selfcare!

What a revelation! Who knew!! Alcohol is NOT selfcare!! “Treat myself to a bottle of wine” was one of my favourite sayings. Treating myself to cheer myself up or reward myself for something good – or just to celebrate getting half way trough the week! Wine would be there as my treat!

Now I’m all about REAL self care and for me this looks like; saying no to something or someone, setting boundaries, turning off my phone, pamper nights, retail therapy, early PJ night (or afternoon!), good food, a fab gym session with time for a sauna, a good coffee, catching up with friends, snuggles on the settee, early nights, sleepy mornings and cake! Self care comes in so many ways, it’s what makes you feel like you, what brings you back home to yourself.

Lesson SEVEN – NEVER be ashamed of your story

When I first stopped drinking in 2016 I had been trying to quit for about 18 months. During that time I was obsessed with secretly snooping around sober blogs and online sober groups, but would never sign up or comment, I felt to ashamed. How had I ended up being someone who cant drink normally like everyone else? I wasn’t that bad was I? Then every Monday morning would confirm I DID have a problem, the guilt and anxiety was screaming at me to change.

It took me 12 months of sobriety before I set up this blog and my Instagram account. It was then that I started connecting with others and hearing how I was helping them, helped me keep sharing my story and its now something I am so proud of. Second to having my beautfiul girls its the best decision I have ever made.

We suffer in so much silence and shame, sneaking drinks, trying to cover up slurring words, defending ourselves the next morning saying we do remember, trying to walk straight and pull ourselves together. Sneaking into the kitchen for an extra top up, hiding drinks in a cup in the day on as Sunday to survive the hangover, hiding bottles, saying ooh lets have a drink when you know you’ve had three already, pretending you have to get something from the shop so you can get more wine and saying you have a cold so you can have a “large hot toddy” on a night you promised you wouldn’t drink.

These are ALL part of my journey, all part of me and who I am today. Don’t be ashamed of anything the drinking you has done because hating yourself will not help you heal! Accept it, embrace it, forgive yourself and then focus all your energy on building the new you – She’s out there waiting!

I feel like I have learnt so many other things along the way , but right now at this stage in my journey these feel the most significant to me and will hopefully help you too!

Let me know what you think, can you relate to these lessons? Or are you struggling? My inbox is always open and don’t forget to find me on Instagram for daily inspo. https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/

My plan is to start blogging more regularly too so please stay connected and lets smash this sober journey together!

Love

Angie xx

10 Top Tips For A Sober Christmas

December 22, 2022

Christmas can be a challenging time for us soberistas, whether its your first Sober Christmas or you have got a few under your belt – it can be a testing time. It’s a time when expectations of ourselves and others are high, we have a lot of dates in our diary, lots on our to do list – and alcohol is EVERYWHERE and its all about being merry and bright – right??!!

This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I think it’s a perfect time to share my tips and tricks to help you celebrate this festive season sober.

Six years ago when I decided to stop drinking, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind.  But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything!  This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I can honestly say they are the best!  You feel like you get so much more out of it, there is so much more to do and so many more memories to make (and actually remember!).

Christmas for me used to be a all about the booze, a total free for all with zero control and the wheels would well and truly fall off. It was just the perfect time to drink with no restrictions and there are so many opportunities to celebrate – its just one month long party! I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it!  I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to the finish!

The reality for me was that the hangovers were next level, effecting me the next day and not feeling better until I had that next drink which got earlier and earlier each day. The Christmas before I quit was pretty bad, I had started to get the morning shakes and it scared me t- a lot! The only thing that made it go away was another drink, and although I carried on drinking for almost another year – I knew it was my body telling me to quit.

So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second!

1 DECIDE YOU WANT TO BE SOBER – Sounds crazy but you have to go ALL IN! Make that promise to yourself and your family that you are going to be sober this Christmas. You can not have ANY doubt in your mind or any wobbles, because in the weak moments when people are pestering you to drink, you need to feel strong in yourself that you will say NO. It has to be your non-negotiable that no matter what it takes you aren’t going to drink this Christmas and feel excited about it – you are about to see Christmas through sober eyes and it’s seriously a whole new world! I wasn’t a one glass of baileys kinda drinker, the Christmas before I quit I drank three bottles of wine and managed to make Christmas Dinner for ten people – then still carried on drinking into the night. But my determination that first Christmas was HUGE and that’s where you need to be – you are in control and you can do this!

2. DRIVE – Drive everywhere!!! Everyone will love you for it, you can make spontaneous trips out, you can drive with zero worries of getting stopped and breathalysed (this is still on my sober bucket list!) Most importantly you can leave when you want to leave – its perfect and you have full control when you are driving. So assign yourself as the designated driver and you’ve got your perfect response to why you aren’t drinking and also an easy get away!

3. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list! Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused! One thing that won’t cost you anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or just a chat. And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own! These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos. Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT! And if you are looking for some fabulous pamper products – I’m your Tropic Gal!

4. NO IS AN ANSWER – “No thankyou I don’t drink”, “No sorry I can’t make it” are perfectly acceptable responses for something you don’t want to do. Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself any further.   I know there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see!  Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave.  To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway!  Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets! Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel.  Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time.  Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is  important to YOU and that  is where you want to be.  REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!

5. PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES –  Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just in case there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand!  This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward)  ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!!  After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee!  Who knew that these people existed ha ha!!  Try it next time and you will be surprised.  And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you are driving, it’s a win win situation !

6. PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol.  Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward.  The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling like death!!  One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on!  But nope that wasn’t  happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink??  So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself!  I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS and next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

7. KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!!   This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids!  If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with!  Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side!  My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year.  Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs.  You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it!  It was different, it was FUN!

8. BEING PRESENT IS THE BEST PRESENT -Christmas is such a magical time for kids, get in on that excitement! If you hear the wine witch calling at night then mix it up, do something different. Get a hot chocolate and drive or walk to find the best Christmas lights. If they are a bit older like my two girls maybe go late night shopping, the cinema or a Christmas movie marathon. Its all about changing the usual pattern – and always think about how amazing and hangover free you will feel in the morning.

9. MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND START THINK ABOUT 2023– If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it! This is a time when drinking used to be the our main activity, once you take that away the options are endless. Wake up early, see the sunrise whilst everyone sleeps in, go for a walk, drive out somewhere new. Buy yourslef a lovely new notebook or journal and focus on the New Year, starting 2023 feeling fresh and recharged!! Fill it with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!

10. BE PROUD Be so proud pf yourself along this Sober Christmas journey – and take time to give yourself a pat on the back and reflect on how different this year is. No wasted mornings with hangovers, no embarrasing moments or arguments you can’t remember, no mixing up of presents or forgetting things, no money wasted on alcohol, more calories for pudding and chocolate, more energy and love for life!!! And most importantly having a Christmas you remember – for all the right reasons!

Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year!

I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your top tips for a sober christmas!

find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ to see what I am getting up to this Christmas – we are off to New York on Boxing Day – and I can not wait – there will be a lot of insta pics so keep a look out!!

Wishing you a Christmas to remember for all of the right reasons!

Love Angie xx

5 YEARS SOBER!!!

November 22, 2021

I feel like I owe all of you lovely followers an apology! I have been so busy with lots of different things and my little Blog has been the one thing that has suffered. But I am now back, planning to do weekly updates and start sharing my sober life again on here to help, support and inspire you guys.

Yesterday I celebrated my FIVE YEAR SOBERVERSARY and it still doesn’t feel real. Five years ago yesterday I woke up hungover and hating myself for the very LAST time . I decided I was sick of my own broken promises to control or quit drinking, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and I was DESPERATE to stop the ride and get off. I HAD TO CHANGE.

5 years later and I honestly had no idea that just removing alcohol from my life would have changed it this much!! My health, my career, my energy levels, my mindset, my fitness, my confidence and my outlook on life. EVERYTHING has changed, and it’s just getting better and better – I can not wait to see what the next 5 years brings and the next and the next.

And thankyou to YOU guys – I am so grateful your support and friendships 💕

If you are following me and want to start your own sober journey – just do it, just start, don’t wait- saying no to that one drink can be the start of a journey that could change your life. Reach out and let me help, you can do this – I totally believe in you.

Yesterday was perfect – I went to Manchester markets with my husband and girls, then we had tea in the Ivy and home for Adele and I’m a Celeb – it was just the perfect day.

I have had so many messages and comments through my social media – its made me so emotional today. The fact that my story is inspiring people is just unbelievable to me, one lady even wanted to print off my post and put it on her wall, possibly the best compliment ever!

If my story can help one person live a sober life and live a life they love then I really can not ask for more than that.

Going forward I want to share so much more to help people, and although life is 100mph right now I will make sure I find the time. In January I will be setting up a Sober Glow Getters what’s app group – where we can support one another and meet up on a monthly zoom. I think feeling alone is a huge reason why people cant stay on track and just by seeing that there are others our there on this journey can be a huge help.

So please keep a look out for me as I’m hopefully posting much more in the future .

I hope you all have an amazing sober week – heading towards the festive season feeling sober and strong.

Find me in insta at https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ for my daily updates and posts!

Big love to you all – and thankyou for being a part of this sober journey with me! –

love Angie xx

I’m Still Here…………….

August 2, 2021

Hey guys,

Just a quick check in to let you know where I am upto with everyhting!

If you follow me on Instagram you may have realised I have been pretty quiet!! I am having an absolute nightmare and my account got blocked as someone has copied it and set it up to a porn link!!

So I am now getting it all looked into but they have had to disable my account whilst they investigate it all. I am missing my gram fam so much though and I am so tempted to just start a brand new fresh account? Not sure what to – what do you think?

Its made me realise how much I love my daily check-ins with my followers and how the majority of my sober support has come from my followers on there and on here too. You get me, I get you – its clearly a sober thing! I really want to get back on there ASAP.

In the meantime could I ask a HUGE favour – could you share my blog on your sober accounts just so I can keep in touch with everyone. Its definitely made me realise the importance of this Blog and how this could never be taken away from me like my Instagram account has been.

Sooooooooo I am still here, still sober. Currently juggling two tweens and a full on job, plus a poorly pup who’s cut his paw so he’s walking around with the dreaded cone on! It’s all happening!

How are you guys? if you need to reach out then please do, I am here to help.

In September I will be doing a coaching course so my plan for January is to set up a Sober Glow Boot Camp – offering a chance to work out with me by zoom twice a week plus group and individual sober support. It’s all ideas at the minute but my aim is to have it set up by January 2022.

What do you think guys? Is it something you would be interested in? Or would you have been when trying to get sober – I definitely know I would, I think the accountability side of it along with the exercise will help people build those healthy habits.

So please spread the word I am still here just stuck in Insta Jail and its rubbish! Although I think it could be the sign of a fresh start and a new page, sometimes things happen for a reason!

Please comment and let me know how you are doing, I would LOVE to hear from you – missing you all so much!

Big hugs and Big Love

Angie xxxx