Find Your Sober Glow!

Christmas can be a challenging time for us soberistas, whether its your first Sober Christmas or you have got a few under your belt – it can be a testing time. It’s a time when expectations of ourselves and others are high, we have a lot of dates in our diary, lots on our to do list – and alcohol is EVERYWHERE and its all about being merry and bright – right??!!

This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I think it’s a perfect time to share my tips and tricks to help you celebrate this festive season sober.

Six years ago when I decided to stop drinking, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind.  But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything!  This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I can honestly say they are the best!  You feel like you get so much more out of it, there is so much more to do and so many more memories to make (and actually remember!).

Christmas for me used to be a all about the booze, a total free for all with zero control and the wheels would well and truly fall off. It was just the perfect time to drink with no restrictions and there are so many opportunities to celebrate – its just one month long party! I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it!  I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to the finish!

The reality for me was that the hangovers were next level, effecting me the next day and not feeling better until I had that next drink which got earlier and earlier each day. The Christmas before I quit was pretty bad, I had started to get the morning shakes and it scared me t- a lot! The only thing that made it go away was another drink, and although I carried on drinking for almost another year – I knew it was my body telling me to quit.

So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second!

1 DECIDE YOU WANT TO BE SOBER – Sounds crazy but you have to go ALL IN! Make that promise to yourself and your family that you are going to be sober this Christmas. You can not have ANY doubt in your mind or any wobbles, because in the weak moments when people are pestering you to drink, you need to feel strong in yourself that you will say NO. It has to be your non-negotiable that no matter what it takes you aren’t going to drink this Christmas and feel excited about it – you are about to see Christmas through sober eyes and it’s seriously a whole new world! I wasn’t a one glass of baileys kinda drinker, the Christmas before I quit I drank three bottles of wine and managed to make Christmas Dinner for ten people – then still carried on drinking into the night. But my determination that first Christmas was HUGE and that’s where you need to be – you are in control and you can do this!

2. DRIVE – Drive everywhere!!! Everyone will love you for it, you can make spontaneous trips out, you can drive with zero worries of getting stopped and breathalysed (this is still on my sober bucket list!) Most importantly you can leave when you want to leave – its perfect and you have full control when you are driving. So assign yourself as the designated driver and you’ve got your perfect response to why you aren’t drinking and also an easy get away!

3. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list! Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused! One thing that won’t cost you anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or just a chat. And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own! These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos. Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT! And if you are looking for some fabulous pamper products – I’m your Tropic Gal!

4. NO IS AN ANSWER – “No thankyou I don’t drink”, “No sorry I can’t make it” are perfectly acceptable responses for something you don’t want to do. Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself any further.   I know there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see!  Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave.  To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway!  Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets! Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel.  Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time.  Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is  important to YOU and that  is where you want to be.  REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!

5. PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES –  Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just in case there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand!  This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward)  ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!!  After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee!  Who knew that these people existed ha ha!!  Try it next time and you will be surprised.  And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you are driving, it’s a win win situation !

6. PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol.  Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward.  The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling like death!!  One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on!  But nope that wasn’t  happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink??  So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself!  I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS and next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

7. KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!!   This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids!  If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with!  Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side!  My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year.  Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs.  You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it!  It was different, it was FUN!

8. BEING PRESENT IS THE BEST PRESENT -Christmas is such a magical time for kids, get in on that excitement! If you hear the wine witch calling at night then mix it up, do something different. Get a hot chocolate and drive or walk to find the best Christmas lights. If they are a bit older like my two girls maybe go late night shopping, the cinema or a Christmas movie marathon. Its all about changing the usual pattern – and always think about how amazing and hangover free you will feel in the morning.

9. MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND START THINK ABOUT 2023– If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it! This is a time when drinking used to be the our main activity, once you take that away the options are endless. Wake up early, see the sunrise whilst everyone sleeps in, go for a walk, drive out somewhere new. Buy yourslef a lovely new notebook or journal and focus on the New Year, starting 2023 feeling fresh and recharged!! Fill it with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!

10. BE PROUD Be so proud pf yourself along this Sober Christmas journey – and take time to give yourself a pat on the back and reflect on how different this year is. No wasted mornings with hangovers, no embarrasing moments or arguments you can’t remember, no mixing up of presents or forgetting things, no money wasted on alcohol, more calories for pudding and chocolate, more energy and love for life!!! And most importantly having a Christmas you remember – for all the right reasons!

Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year!

I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your top tips for a sober christmas!

find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ to see what I am getting up to this Christmas – we are off to New York on Boxing Day – and I can not wait – there will be a lot of insta pics so keep a look out!!

Wishing you a Christmas to remember for all of the right reasons!

Love Angie xx