Tag: just breathe

SOBER SELF CARE

April 6, 2020

 

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Hey guys how are things going?

This lockdown is certainly messing with my head, from being pretty upbeat and positive 99% of the time I’m feeling pretty up and down at the minute.  But I’m guessing its normal and totally to be expected with everything that’s going on.

A huge hands in the air for the soberistas who are in the early days, what a testing time and you are smashing it!  I got an amazing comment on my last post from Sarah who was on day 25 – wow that is something huge in the current climate.  At over 40 months sober I am serious when I say I would struggle if I was starting now – so a massive well done guys – if we can get through this sober I’m thinking we can get through anything!

The hardest part for me is that my routine is upside down, my days normally fly by and at the moment they are dragging.  I am physically not as active, so yes I am working out everyday and walking the dog every day but for the rest of the day I am sat down a lot, either with the kids, watching tv or sat in the garden – When normally I am flying around everywhere.  And possibly the hardest part for me is not knowing when this will all return to normal, we haven’t got a time scale – I’m a planner I NEED to know what’s happening and when.  But you know what I’ve got to accept it is what it is and my priorities right now are keeping myself, my family, and my parents healthy and safe and that’s all I can do right now.

All of these feelings are feelings I would normally escape from by drinking.  We have all been there when its all too much and you just need to escape your own mind.  And that is the hardest part, sitting with these feelings. But just think how strong we will be when we come out of the other side – sober super heroes!

You have to find other ways to escape, other way to relax and destress and just give yourself time out.  This is when you realise how important Sober Self Care is – you have to learn new ways to let yourself escape reality and just look after yourself and recharge.

I used to think going to the corner shop for a bottle of wine or two was self care?  So believe me this is something that I have had to learn to do, but I can not begin to tell you how important self care is for you and your sobriety.  Here are some ways that I switch off and try to look after myself physically and mentally. I am still trying out new ways and ideas so feel free to comment and let me know what self care means for you guys too :-

  • This … Blogging!  Today my head was just all over the place, I have felt teary and pretty emotional but just stting down to focus on this and the contact with my readers and a feeling of giving back has just made me feel better.  Maybe start a journal, a video diary, an Instagram page or even set up a little blog yourself.
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  • Exercise – no surprise I know!!  Exercise has been my number one coping mechanism since I stopped drinking over three years ago.  I love anything with weights and occasionally running.  But you can do anything, yoga, workout dvd, power walking with the dog.  Just something to give your endorphins a boost and give you that much needed time out.  The best time to exercise I  feel is first thing in the morning before your brain knows what your body is doing, plus what a better way to make the most of those glorious hangover free mornings!
  • Pamper time – a hot bath, doing your nails, trying out new makeup, do a gradual tan or a relaxing face mask.  Since I started with Tropic I have got to admit this is now a close second to exercise for me as it feels a little like product research!  The old me would NEVER relax this way, I would occasionally go for a spray tan  before a night out but as we all know there is nothing relaxing about that!  If you would like some pampering inspiration visit  My online shop or message me and I will happily help
  • Reading – I have read some amazing books since I quit the booze and although I don’t seem to have much time to read anymore but I always make sure I have a good book for long weekends or holidays.  My go to books are inspirational books and memoirs so Noah Galloway, Jillian Michaels, Clare Pooley and Catherine Grey are just a few.
  • Netflix & Chill – I cant even begin to tell you how many films the drinking me would watch and not remember the ending, or not really focusing on the film because my glass constantly needed refilling.  I love now just getting fully immersed in a dvd or a film at the cinema and you can just totally lose yourself for a couple of hours – total heaven.
  • Early nights – never underestimate the power of an early night with a hot chocolate, especially in those early days of sobriety.  I would feel so tired and as it was winter time, I couldn’t wait to snuggle up in bed all cosy with a hot choc!  If you need to sleep – sleep!
  • Retail therapy – who doesn’t like to online shop!  Sometimes I will just spend an hour filling and emptying my basekt – dream online shopping! And if you add up how much you have saved by not drinking, you can certainly afford to treat yourself.
  • Chatting with friends, a call with an upbeat, like minded friend can totally lift your spirits or even an online catch up with your sober online support friends.

There are soooo many ways you can take time out to look after YOU which are also fab ways to distract yourself if the wine witch is calling!  And the extra bonus is that none of them give you a hangover from hell in the morning.

Let me know how you guys practice self care, any tips or ideas would be appreciated.  I know a lot of people find cooking relaxing but its the total opposite for me – lets just say I have never had the urge to channel my inner Nigella!!

Now more than ever is a time we should be making self care a priority.  It isn’t selfish its a fundamental part of our sobriety and an important part of both our physical and mental health – you have every right to just give yourself time to ………

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Take care, stay safe and stay at home – we have got this

Find me on Instagram for daily posts and sober inspo   @soberglowgetter

 Love Angie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

June 22, 2018

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Ok so firstly I’ve just got to say I hate the term ‘Triggers’!!! It sounds so extreme, like the millisecond moment of weakness that sends you on a three-day bender and finds you waking up in a different country, with no recollection of how you got there!!! (I know this may have happened to some people but thankfully I was nowhere near that level of drinking!)

Basically a ‘trigger’ is something that takes you off your track of sobriety (or diet, giving up smoking/drugs anything you’re trying to give up) It can be a certain time a day, an event, a person, a feeling, the weather, anything that gives you that urge and desire to have a drink.

One of the reasons it took me so long to stop drinking was that I would predict the urge to have a drink, and sort of talk myself out of ‘not’ drinking before I had even started. It’s only now that I realise how crazy that was! So for example even if I had a quiet weekend coming up, but the weekend after we would be having a night out with friends I would think ‘well I may as well drink this weekend because there’s no way I could go out next weekend and not drink’! I would already be feeling anxious about going out and being the only one not drinking, I had already given in to the trigger of a night out that was two weeks away!

Yesterday I hit nineteen months of not drinking, and I can honestly say I’ve possibly had less than ten times when something has triggered me into wanting a drink. Instead of calling them triggers I prefer to think of them as the drinks I missed, but didn’t miss it enough to pick up a glass and give in.

The first was in the December after I had stopped in the November, so it was early days.  I had put the Christmas tree up with the girls and we had decorated it together. Now normally, my tradition would be to have a glass of mulled wine once we had finished, and then I would slowly carry on for the rest of the day. That’s the first time I had the urge to drink, my first trigger, but instead we decorated the tree then walked down to the local café for cake and hot chocolate, walking back when it was getting dark and seeing the house all a glow with lights was lovely.  Something I will never forget and something I would definitely not have done after a bottle of mulled wine!!!!

Obviously Christmas and New Years are a big time for drinking but I was already reaping the benefits by then of not drinking and was feeling good so I didn’t want to spoil that. Plus it was a novelty to feel so fresh and full of energy over Christmas and New Years and make the most of the time together as a family.

Birthdays and celebrations are a big trigger for some people, although I haven’t really found this a struggle.  My birthday is in August so I already had ten months of not drinking under my belt by then, so I wasnt going to ruin that.  Birthdays are also a great time to remind your other half how much money you’ve saved by not drinking! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!)

Holidays are a biggie, because it’s a time when you probably drink more than normal, this can be when people given into temptation. We had a beach holiday booked In my first year, luckily it wasn’t all-inclusive so that sort of helped!  The hardest time was the night before we went on holiday because normally that’s when the wine would be flowing, in full on ‘Holiday mode’  I struggled because I was so excited and just wanted the night to pass quickly so we could set off (bit like being a child really!) but I just kept myself busy and the feeling went away. I’ve done a past blog on sober holidays which you can read here, Happy, Healthy Holidays! so I won’t go into too much detail but I got through the holiday with no problems.  This year we did go all-inclusive and I didn’t have one thought to have an alcoholic drink.  Something, that nineteen months ago I would have thought impossible!

Surprisingly camping holidays hit me harder than a beach holiday!! Once the tent is up and we are unpacked I would religiously sit down with a beer.  The first time I  went camping that really made me want to crack, but a Becks Blue sort of quenched my thirst and then I got more involved playing with the kids and it passed, any campers will know there’s always something that needs doing!

I have found that two of my main triggers are boredom and people! I have to be with people who I can laugh with, have good chats with, people who I can be myself with. And I do not enjoy being bored or lazy, sat talking rubbish, or watching garbage on the tv whilst I down a bottle of wine! As a result I’ve got true friends who get me and I get them and I love being in their company.  And I’ve now got a really active lifestyle, taking on more challenges and filling my life with more than I’ve ever done.

I have realised that a lot of the times I wanted to drink were linked to traditions and habit, what I would ‘usually’ do. But think of the saying ‘if you keep on doing what you’ve always done you will keep on getting what you’ve always got!’ This is so true. Yes it was hard to deal with those triggers, it was difficult to do something differently. But it’s only the first time or the first few times that its hard, it then becomes the norm. The new, sober you becomes the normal you, and you will do all of those things sober and believe me you will enjoy them so much more. It feels like a whole new world, you’re experiencing things in a different light and the best part is…….. you get to remember it all!

So if you’ve struggled with a certain trigger whatever that may be, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just put it down to experience and move on, knowing that next time you won’t let it defeat you. I think feeling anxious is normal, but just literally talk yourself through it a minute at a time. Just breathe and tell yourself you can do it, and you know what, YOU CAN!

What have been your triggers? How do you deal with them? Any tips or advice for others?

Hope it’s a happy, healthy weekend for you!!

Angie xx