Last month I celebrated 8 and a half years of sobriety, and marked the occasion by starting up my own YouTube channel! Its the perfect place for me to chat all things Sobriety, Selfcare, Skincare, Health and wellness – how to THRIVE in sobriety and not just survive.
Something I get asked a LOT, is how do I holiday sober? One of my latest posts is all about this and you can listen to it here Subscribe here
With over 8 years of sobriety under my belt, I know first hand that holidays can bring unique challenges when you’re alcohol-free. BUT they can also be the most beautiful, clear, recharging and refreshing times when you’re present and prepared.
Here are my Top 5 Sober Holiday Tips to help you build your sober toolbox and enjoy a holiday you’ll actually remember — hangover free!
1. Remember Your Why
Reconnect with the reason you chose a sober life — your health, your peace, your relationships, your freedom.
Write it down, keep a reminder on your phone, or say it out loud before big events.
When temptation arises, your “why” becomes your anchor.
2. Do Things Differently
Break old patterns. If holidays used to revolve around alcohol, try a fresh approach.
Choose new destinations, activities, or people that align with your sober lifestyle.
Shift the focus from drinking to experience, connection, and self-care.
3. Stay Connected to the New You
Keep routines that support your sobriety: journaling, walks, skincare, meditation — whatever keeps you grounded.
Don’t leave your sober self at home when you pack your suitcase!
Be proud of the version of you that’s showing up fully present.
4. Enjoy It ALL!
You’re not missing out. You’re gaining so much more: energy, memory, real joy.
Savour the mornings, the conversations, the food, the laughter — all without the fog.
Celebrate the freedom of living authentically and Feeling amazing and hangover free.
5. Play It Forward
If you feel tempted, fast-forward in your mind to how you’ll feel after a drink; the regret, the hangover, the lost progress.
Then play forward your sober choice; the pride, the clarity, the peace.
Use visualization as a powerful mindset tool to stay on track.
Holidays are for making memories, not losing them. They are all about coming home feeling refreshed, recharged and relaxed – not coming home needing another holiday!
With these tips in your sober toolkit, you can travel, celebrate, and live your best life with clarity and confidence.
PLUS this is very exciting…….My VIP Sober glow summer bundle offer, perfect for that sober getaway! This is only available direct through me so just message me to order!
Ten Month Transformation 10 month update on my fitness journey and I am finally starting to see the result!! Head over to my Sober Glow insta post for all the info.
And also I have finally set the date for our Sober Glow Summer social in Manchester, I would love to see you there! We have approx 5 spaces left – its the perfect opportunity to connect and share the sober inspo in person.
PLUS if you would like a Sober Glow self care pack posting out just let me know and I will get one to you. (Free if you are in the UK)
If you have any top tips for a sober holiday then please let me know in comments or share them on my you tube channel – I would love to hear from you.
As always your support means the world to me, and I promise to keep my blog more upto date for you! I now have lots of ways we can connect…….
Staying sober during the summer can be challenging, especially with the numerous social events, parties, and gatherings that often involve alcohol. However, a sober summer can be incredibly rewarding, providing you with clarity, health benefits, and the opportunity to create meaningful memories. Here are ten tips to help you enjoy a sober summer:
1.Plan Ahead
Identify Triggers: Recognize situations or events that might trigger the desire to drink. Whether it’s certain people, places, or emotions, being aware of your triggers can help you prepare for them. Set Goals: Establish clear, achievable goals for your summer. Whether it’s staying sober for a month, attending a specific number of events sober, or achieving personal milestones, having goals can keep you motivated. Develop Strategies: Plan how to handle situations where you might feel pressured to drink. This could include having a definite answer in place when asked why not drinking, bringing your own non-alcoholic beverages, or having a friend you can call for support. And don’t forget I’m here – sometimes a simple “you can do this” reply is all you need!
2.Find Sober Activities Explore New Hobbies: Summer is a great time to try new activities that don’t involve alcohol, everyone is at the gym or trying to get healthier in the summer so that’s a fab place to start. So look for new classes, maybe wild water swimming or walking groups, yoga, the list goes on! Join Clubs or Groups: Look for local groups or clubs that focus on sober activities. Whether it’s a book club, a sports team, or a volunteer organization, being part of a community can provide support and keep you engaged. Attend Sober Events: These are definitely getting more and more popular – many communities offer alcohol-free events such as outdoor movies, concerts, and festivals. Check local listings for sober-friendly events.
3. Stay Active Warmer and brighter days encourage us to move more and do more so have an exercise plan in place and stick to it – make that your focus. Physical activity can reduce stress and improve your mood, making it easier to stay sober. Find an exercise routine you enjoy – that’s key to sticking to it. I always feel like I want to do more in the house too when its summer, have a declutter or a deep clean if you feel the wine witch calling, especially in the evenings.
4. Build a Support Network Reach Out to Friends and Family: IF (big IF) your family are supportive let them know about your commitment to staying sober. Their support and encouragement can be invaluable. When I initially quit I didn’t tell anyone apart from my husband as I didn’t want the added pressure and negative comments from people who didn’t think I could do it. So don’t feel like you have to tell the everyone, maybe just a chosen few. Instagram and social media is amazing for this, as you find your people – people who are getting sober who are sober just like you – like all my sober glow gals, all encouraging one another. Join Support Groups: Organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) offer meetings and resources for those looking to stay sober. Connecting with others who understand your journey can provide strength and inspiration. See what is available in your are, you might just be pleasantly surprised! Find a Sober Buddy: Partner with a friend who is also committed to staying sober. You can support each other, attend events together, and hold each other accountable.
5. Create a Sober Sanctuary Design a Sober Space: Dedicate a space in your home to relaxation and sobriety. Fill it with items that bring you peace and joy, such as books, candles, or plants. This could be the bathroom for a long lovely bath, a quiet place in the garden or just in your bedroom. Somewhere you can escape and be away from any temptation to drink. Remove Temptations: If possible, remove alcohol from your home or create a plan to avoid areas where you keep it. This reduces the likelihood of impulsive drinking. As I quit in November this wasn’t really an option for me as we had all the seasonal booze in the house, I remember moving it out of the kitchen and into the garage for a few weeks. But I found taking myself upstairs and not sat on the settee downstairs helped me a lot, as you know I spent a lot of my drinking time sat on the settee. Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling. These activities can help you stay grounded and focused on your sobriety.
6. Stay Hydrated Drink Plenty of Water: Staying hydrated is crucial, especially during the summer. Don’t let yourself get confused it’s an alcohol craving when really its just being thirsty. Plus you want that glowing sober skin so water and staying hydrated is a must. Explore Non-Alcoholic Beverages: Experiment with different non-alcoholic drinks like sparkling water, herbal teas, or mocktails. Personally I love a V&T (ACV and tonic water) in the warmer months, refreshing and looks just like a G&T, plus super healthy too! Having a tasty alternative in your hand feels like a comfort blanket, and it can make it easier to refuse alcohol. Attend to Nutrition: Don’t let yourself get HANGRY – I found this a huge trigger for me. Eating a balanced diet can help stabilize your mood and energy levels, reducing the temptation to drink.
7. Develop New Traditions Host Sober Gatherings: I know, I get it Summer is hard – bbq’s, daytime drinking and just being more sociable! But why not plan and organise your own social events that don’t involve alcohol. This could be a lovely walk and stopping off for tea, an outdoor movie night, a pamper and selfcare evening with the girls ( I can help with this!) Sobriety opens up a whole new world! Celebrate Milestones: Mark important milestones in your sobriety with special, alcohol-free celebrations. Recognizing your achievements can boost your confidence and motivation. I always took time out to celebrate even just the small days when I first got sober, do it, treat yourself – you are worth it!! Plus look how much you are saving now sober!.
8. Focus on Personal Growth Set Personal Goals: Use the summer to work on personal development. Whether it’s taking a course, reading more, or improving a skill, focusing on growth can keep your mind occupied and away from thoughts of drinking. Reflect on Your Journey: Take time to reflect on your sobriety journey. Journaling about your experiences, challenges, and successes can provide insight and motivation. This could become your new evening routine if you feel like it’s the evening time that you struggle, and there is nothing better than seeing how far you’ve come. Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counsellor. There is so much help out there these days and professional guidance can provide you with tools and strategies to maintain your sobriety.
9. Prepare for Social Situations Have an Exit Strategy: If you find yourself in a situation where you’re tempted to drink, have a plan to leave. Being able to drive home when you want plays a huge part in this! And don’t feel like you have to say bye, people will persuade you to stay – but in all honesty they are probably too drunk to notice you have gone. So if its easier just do a back door boogie!! Practice Saying No: And remember that NO is an answer. It’s okay to decline a drink or leave an event early. Practice saying no politely but firmly, and remember that your sobriety is more important than social pressures. Bring a Friend: Attending social events with a sober friend can provide support and reduce the temptation to drink, or even just let whoever you are with know your plans and that you might be leaving if its all too much and you need to escape.
10. Celebrate Your Sober Summer & Play It Forward Whenever you are struggling or start doubting yourself, remember to play it forward. Its September, the kids are back to school, you are feeling A-MAZ-ING, you are glowing after a summer of looking after YOU, you aren’t bloated from all the wine, you have been exercising and practicing self care and just feel amazing! You feel confident in your sobriety and ready for a sober Autumn and Christmas and next thing you know it’s a whole sober year done! Bring on the next!
Reflect on Your Success: At the end of the summer, take time to reflect on your accomplishments. Celebrate the progress you’ve made and set new goals for the future. Share Your Story: Consider sharing your sober summer experience with others. Whether through social media, a blog, or in a support group, your story can inspire and encourage others.
A sober summer can be a transformative experience, offering you the chance to explore new activities, develop personal growth, and build lasting memories without alcohol. By planning ahead, finding supportive communities, staying active, and focusing on personal growth, you can enjoy a fulfilling and enjoyable sober summer. Remember, each day sober is an achievement worth celebrating.
I have also done other blog posts that focus on summer vacations and holidays which you might find helpful, so make sure you check those out too.
If you are looking to add more selfcare and skincare into your life then I can send out a sober selfcare pamper pack for you (free if in the UK) just send me a message or comment below. Or click on the link to and browse my shop http://www.tropicskincare.com/angiefairclough
Today marks my 7 years sober milestone!!!!! I keep going from thinking how is it 7 years?, to feeling like I have been sober forever. The old drinking me is someone I just do not know, I have no connection to her anymore – thankfully she’s a total stranger BUT she taught me some lessons!
It feels like a huge milestone and something I want to celebrate with you guys and also give back. For those who are in the early days and seven days seems impossible never mind 7 years, ( I was that girl) I want to share the top seven things I have learned so far :
Lesson ONE – The sober me is the real me!
The sober you is the real, authentic you. Its who you were made to be! You discover such a sense of self awareness when you lose the booze and you will find that a new you emerges. You will be truer to yourself, you will say YES to what you love, you will create stronger friendships and relationships as you are the true version of you.
I used to be a constant people pleaser, changing who I was to please others – it was so draining. Alcohol helped me put on whatever persona I needed for the situation. I didn’t know myself I was so busy being whatever I needed to be for other people. Now my focus is being the real me and doing what I love! And once you are in that mindset you attract everything that is meant for the authentic you!
Lesson TWO – There is sooooooo much more to life!
When I was drinking, alcohol would be the CENTRE of everything! What time are we drinking? will there be booze? Who else is drinking? What time does the bar open? I would use any excuse I could find to involve alcohol. I didn’t give myself a chance to even TRY and have fun without it!
Now my life is full of so many amazing things, I have said yes to opportunities that the drinking me would have just sat and dreamed about. Girls like me didn’t do things like that! Well the sober me changed that and you can too! You can dance, get on a stage, change your career, ugly belly laugh, see the world and live a full and exciting life sober – use you new found sober confidence to go out and grab that new sober life, its out there waiting!
Lesson THREE – Sober Sleep Is Another Level
In the early days of my sober journey I would head off to bed super early with a hot choc and a book, to take me out of the way of temptation and get myself our of the habit of drinking on the settee AND because sober sleep is a luxury. There is no better feeling than your head hitting the pillow and you know you will be getting an uninterrupted 8 hours, and even better you have done your skincare, brushed your teeth and made it into your pj’s – I like being a little extra and spraying my pillow mist too!
Compare that to passing our on the settee or flopping into bed after drinking, makeup on, teeth not brushed and already massively dehydrated! Just to wake up three hours later sweating, feeling sick, total anxiety and the worst wine breath. We all know that feeling and its no wonder we wake up feeling drained and tired and once again waiting for wine time to feel better!
Lesson FOUR – Life’s not perfect, and that’s ok!
I used to always want to be in control of a situation, which is so crazy as drinking saw me lose all self control. Now I can handle change, disappointment and the days that just aren’t that great, so much better than before. I would always make it all about me – how I was affected, how I had been let down, poor little old me – who would need wine to help her feel better.
If I told you the past seven years have seen me skipping through pink fields with unicorns everyday, I would be lying! Of course I still have rubbish days, still feel let down, still have to change my plans or my direction – but now I’m much better equipped to take a deep breath, learn from it and move on. I guess I’ve got a sober tool kit and my new way of dealing with things – which I have had to learn for myself along the way. Exercise, walks, retail therapy, decluttering, working, spending time with those I love – are all ways for me to deal with those feelings that used to have me reaching for a couple of bottles of wine. It takes time to find out what works for you but its good to know that when things fall apart you have things to turn to to get through.
Lesson FIVE – I’m a better Mum, Daughter, Wife and Friend
They say you love the ones you hurt the most and the I think the drinking you is the most selfish version of you. When I was drinking I would get to the point that all that mattered was having that next drink, I would say things I couldn’t remember, let people down, embarrass myself and those I loved – all for alcohol.
Its good to know that now I’m giving the people I love the best of me, ALL of the time! My girls will forever be my reason why, they were 7 & 10 when I quit and just starting to notice I was different when the wine was around. And although I regret not stopping sooner I’m so glad I stopped when I did so they have fewer memories of how I was then. I just know I’m a better person, I am more tuned in, I can pick up on peoples feelings, I look out for those I love and I want to nurture the relationships I have with my family and friends now.
Lesson SIX – Wine is not selfcare!
What a revelation! Who knew!! Alcohol is NOT selfcare!! “Treat myself to a bottle of wine” was one of my favourite sayings. Treating myself to cheer myself up or reward myself for something good – or just to celebrate getting half way trough the week! Wine would be there as my treat!
Now I’m all about REAL self care and for me this looks like; saying no to something or someone, setting boundaries, turning off my phone, pamper nights, retail therapy, early PJ night (or afternoon!), good food, a fab gym session with time for a sauna, a good coffee, catching up with friends, snuggles on the settee, early nights, sleepy mornings and cake! Self care comes in so many ways, it’s what makes you feel like you, what brings you back home to yourself.
Lesson SEVEN – NEVER be ashamed of your story
When I first stopped drinking in 2016 I had been trying to quit for about 18 months. During that time I was obsessed with secretly snooping around sober blogs and online sober groups, but would never sign up or comment, I felt to ashamed. How had I ended up being someone who cant drink normally like everyone else? I wasn’t that bad was I? Then every Monday morning would confirm I DID have a problem, the guilt and anxiety was screaming at me to change.
It took me 12 months of sobriety before I set up this blog and my Instagram account. It was then that I started connecting with others and hearing how I was helping them, helped me keep sharing my story and its now something I am so proud of. Second to having my beautfiul girls its the best decision I have ever made.
We suffer in so much silence and shame, sneaking drinks, trying to cover up slurring words, defending ourselves the next morning saying we do remember, trying to walk straight and pull ourselves together. Sneaking into the kitchen for an extra top up, hiding drinks in a cup in the day on as Sunday to survive the hangover, hiding bottles, saying ooh lets have a drink when you know you’ve had three already, pretending you have to get something from the shop so you can get more wine and saying you have a cold so you can have a “large hot toddy” on a night you promised you wouldn’t drink.
These are ALL part of my journey, all part of me and who I am today. Don’t be ashamed of anything the drinking you has done because hating yourself will not help you heal! Accept it, embrace it, forgive yourself and then focus all your energy on building the new you – She’s out there waiting!
I feel like I have learnt so many other things along the way , but right now at this stage in my journey these feel the most significant to me and will hopefully help you too!
Let me know what you think, can you relate to these lessons? Or are you struggling? My inbox is always open and don’t forget to find me on Instagram for daily inspo. https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/
My plan is to start blogging more regularly too so please stay connected and lets smash this sober journey together!
Christmas can be a challenging time for us soberistas, whether its your first Sober Christmas or you have got a few under your belt – it can be a testing time. It’s a time when expectations of ourselves and others are high, we have a lot of dates in our diary, lots on our to do list – and alcohol is EVERYWHERE and its all about being merry and bright – right??!!
This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I think it’s a perfect time to share my tips and tricks to help you celebrate this festive season sober.
Six years ago when I decided to stop drinking, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind. But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything! This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I can honestly say they are the best! You feel like you get so much more out of it, there is so much more to do and so many more memories to make (and actually remember!).
Christmas for me used to be a all about the booze, a total free for all with zero control and the wheels would well and truly fall off. It was just the perfect time to drink with no restrictions and there are so many opportunities to celebrate – its just one month long party! I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it! I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to the finish!
The reality for me was that the hangovers were next level, effecting me the next day and not feeling better until I had that next drink which got earlier and earlier each day. The Christmas before I quit was pretty bad, I had started to get the morning shakes and it scared me t- a lot! The only thing that made it go away was another drink, and although I carried on drinking for almost another year – I knew it was my body telling me to quit.
So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second!
1 DECIDE YOU WANT TO BE SOBER – Sounds crazy but you have to go ALL IN! Make that promise to yourself and your family that you are going to be sober this Christmas. You can not have ANY doubt in your mind or any wobbles, because in the weak moments when people are pestering you to drink, you need to feel strong in yourself that you will say NO. It has to be your non-negotiable that no matter what it takes you aren’t going to drink this Christmas and feel excited about it – you are about to see Christmas through sober eyes and it’s seriously a whole new world! I wasn’t a one glass of baileys kinda drinker, the Christmas before I quit I drank three bottles of wine and managed to make Christmas Dinner for ten people – then still carried on drinking into the night. But my determination that first Christmas was HUGE and that’s where you need to be – you are in control and you can do this!
2. DRIVE – Drive everywhere!!! Everyone will love you for it, you can make spontaneous trips out, you can drive with zero worries of getting stopped and breathalysed (this is still on my sober bucket list!) Most importantly you can leave when you want to leave – its perfect and you have full control when you are driving. So assign yourself as the designated driver and you’ve got your perfect response to why you aren’t drinking and also an easy get away!
3. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list! Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused! One thing that won’t cost you anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or just a chat. And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own! These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos. Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT! And if you are looking for some fabulous pamper products – I’m your Tropic Gal!
4. NO IS AN ANSWER – “No thankyou I don’t drink”, “No sorry I can’t make it” are perfectly acceptable responses for something you don’t want to do. Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself any further. I know there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see! Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave. To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway! Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets!Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel. Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time. Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is important to YOU and that is where you want to be. REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!
5. PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES – Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just in case there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand! This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward) ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!! After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee! Who knew that these people existed ha ha!! Try it next time and you will be surprised. And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you are driving, it’s a win win situation !
6. PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol. Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward. The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling like death!! One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on! But nope that wasn’t happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink?? So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself! I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS and next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!
7. KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!! This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids! If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with! Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side! My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year. Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs. You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it! It was different, it was FUN!
8. BEING PRESENT IS THE BEST PRESENT -Christmas is such a magical time for kids, get in on that excitement! If you hear the wine witch calling at night then mix it up, do something different. Get a hot chocolate and drive or walk to find the best Christmas lights. If they are a bit older like my two girls maybe go late night shopping, the cinema or a Christmas movie marathon. Its all about changing the usual pattern – and always think about how amazing and hangover free you will feel in the morning.
9. MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND START THINK ABOUT 2023– If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it! This is a time when drinking used to be the our main activity, once you take that away the options are endless. Wake up early, see the sunrise whilst everyone sleeps in, go for a walk, drive out somewhere new. Buy yourslef a lovely new notebook or journal and focus on the New Year, starting 2023 feeling fresh and recharged!! Fill it with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!
10. BE PROUD Be so proud pf yourself along this Sober Christmas journey – and take time to give yourself a pat on the back and reflect on how different this year is. No wasted mornings with hangovers, no embarrasing moments or arguments you can’t remember, no mixing up of presents or forgetting things, no money wasted on alcohol, more calories for pudding and chocolate, more energy and love for life!!! And most importantly having a Christmas you remember – for all the right reasons!
Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year!
I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your top tips for a sober christmas!
find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ to see what I am getting up to this Christmas – we are off to New York on Boxing Day – and I can not wait – there will be a lot of insta pics so keep a look out!!
Wishing you a Christmas to remember for all of the right reasons!
Today I celebrate SIX YEARS SOBER! The old me did not know that this would ever be possible, I couldn’t go six days never mind six years!
I have learnt so many things along the way and I am still learning. My sober life and the sober me is work in progress, and things are always changing. However, some lessons I have learnt will stick with me forever, these lessons have changed my life and who I am as a person, they are now a part of me and what I truly believe in and they have helped me get to where I am today.
ONE – Getting Sober Is a Choice You Make Everyday
Remind yourself that YOU are choosing sobriety every day and feel grateful for that. Unfortunately, we don’t come with a sobriety switch that we flick on and that means we never think about drinking again. Alcohol is all around us, we are a minority and yes at times that’s super tough – but remember it’s your choice to be sober, to be the best version of you and to not have alcohol in your life. Be proud that every day you make that choice. At six years sober I have to be honest and say I don’t feel triggered to drink very often but there are still times and situations that I do and finding that strength to stay true to your sobriety no matter what is so empowering, and something you should feel very proud of!
TWO – Spend More Time Loving The New You Than Hating The Old
If you are reading this you probably have a lot of drinking regrets, I know I do. I’ve got so many memories that make me cringe inside, STILL! But don’t focus on that, work on the new you and have peace knowing that person is no longer who you are. What you will also find is that people love reminding you of the “old you” and the things you did in a drunken state, we;ve all got those friends that remembered everything you did drunk and couldn’t wait to tell you all about it the morning after. You will probably find those so-called friends won’t be your sober cheerleaders and you will get more distant with them as time moves on (more on this later!)
Just remember that drinking regrets are normal, but the more you focus on making that change and building a new you then the less you will think about them. Some people feel like they want to make official apologies, which is fine if that works for you – but I believe in actions speaking louder than words and you can build any bridges if the friendship is something you care about, just by changing your behaviour and showing that person you care. So, choose to redeem yourself, choose to make those changes and choose to create a new you with strong meaningful relationships that the drinking you will not ruin!
THREE – Embrace Your Addictive Personality
Taking away the alcohol doesn’t change the fact that we have an addictive personality! Now if this is harnessed the right way it can become life changing! We are all or nothing personalities, we don’t sit on the fence or go into something half-hearted. So go ALL IN on this sober life, this new you – chase that dream life at 100mph! That will look different for all of you but just make sure that each day you are working towards those dreams – “I didn’t get sober to sit on the couch” is one of my all-time favourite sayings and my life is proof of that- Sobriety has been life changing for me because I decided to go all in!
( I’m also addicted to coffee, shopping, exercise and chocolate too!!!!!)
FOUR -Learn How To Sit With Your Feelings
Just because you are sober doesn’t mean you are jumping on pink clouds every day! Life throws tough times and challenges at us regularly and now we don’t have alcohol to get us through those feelings then we have to sit with them and experience them sober. This can be tough, especially in the early days, that urge to grab a bottle and drown out life can be so loud and it’s learning other coping mechanisms that get us through those times, and that won’t happen overnight.
The main thing to remember is that any feeling will pass, from a feeling of rage to a feeling of total excitement and all of the feelings in-between – it will eventually die down. The feeling of needing alcohol to deal with those feelings is exactly the same and it’s all about finding something else to replace that. For me self-care has been a massive part of my sobriety, and now I will take myself off for a pamper if I’m feeling anxious or stressed and just focus on me, calming myself down and using that time out to put things into perspective and switch my focus. Others may do other things like getting outside, watching a film, calling a friend, making a meal, doing a little online shopping, cleaning up or decluttering, reading a book – so many different coping mechanisms and it’s all about finding the one that works for you. When all else fails just remember that you just need to get through it a minute at a time, an hour at a time and a day at a time. Those FEELINGS WILL pass and your sobriety will have stayed intact – that’s where your sober strength lies.
FIVE – Be Prepared To Find Your True Friends
You are changing who you are as a person so you will probably find that your circle of friends and what you value in a friend will change too. After six years sober I have got a lovely mixture of old friends and new. You will find you become a lot more choosey with who you are friends with and who you give your time too, I found I moved away from drama – I had enough to focus on with myself so I didn’t need any extra drama added to it. What I have also found is that true friends will be your friends no matter what, through thick and thin, through you drinking and being sober. I’ve also created a lot of new friendships, online and in person, through my work and my soberglow page – lots of positive and inspiring women who I really am surrounded with every day. I feel blessed to have old and new friends in my life who love me for me – who love the real me not the fake drinking me, that feels like a true friendship and I am very lucky to have that.
SIX – Sobriety Is A Superpower
Yes, I know this sounds dramatic but its soooooooo TRUE!!! Getting sober was something I never believed I could do – EVER! I thought it was what other people did, that rare breed of people that could live life 100% themselves without the need of alcohol because they loved themselves enough to be sober. Knowing that I am now that person is like having a secret superpower – I can achieve anything I want to achieve – if I can get sober I can do anything and having that fire, excitement and believe in yourself will ultimately change your life in so many ways. It’s life changing!
Be prepared to put down the glass and pick up your dream life because that is what happens. You are saying yes to so much more, you start living your dreams and becoming THAT person – THAT girl – who you always wanted to be. And isn’t life too short for anything else!
If you are on day one, day 100 or day 1000 – I hope these lessons have helped inspire you to continue or are ones that you can relate to. I have learnt so much in the past 6 years these are just the main ones, but each day I am grateful in some way for my sobriety and what it teaches me.
This weekend I have been in London with my little family, and what a perfect time to love my sober life! The old me would have spent it sat in bars from lunch time and planning the whole weekend around hangovers and long boozy meals, but instead I was flying around at 100mph and seeing the sights, soaking up the festive shops and being 100% present for my girls. Being the best Mum I can be has always been my ultimate reason why and always will be – it’s above all of the lessons I have learnt, and it’s the core of me now – to show my girls how full a life without alcohol can really be!
What lessons have you learnt in your sobriety or how has it changed your life or you as a person? Let me know in comments
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Hey soberistas!! How is it the 22nd of December already?!
I have had quite a few messages for hints and tips on how to stay sober over the Christmas period. So with the big day almost upon us I thought it was a good time to get this post out there and it can hopefully help any of you feeling anxious about dealing with the ‘MERRY’ part of Christmas!
Five years ago when I decided to stop drinking, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind. But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything! This will be my 6th sober Christmas and I can honestly say they are the best! You feel like you get so much more out of it, there is so much more to do and so many more memories to make (and actually remember!).
Christmas for me used to be a all about the booze, a total free for all with zero control and the wheels would well and truly fall off. It was just the perfect time to drink with no restrictions and there are so many opportunities to celebrate – its just one month long party! I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it! I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to the finish!
The reality for me was that the hangovers were next level, effecting me the next day and not feeling better until I had that next drink which got earlier and earlier each day. The Christmas before I quit was pretty bad, I had started to get the morning shakes and it scared me to death! The only thing that made it go away was another drink, and although I carried on drinking for almost another year – I knew it was my body telling me to quit.
Lets be honest, Christmas is a stressful time and with alcohol being offered to you at every opportunity, it’s a dangerous situation to be in if you’re in the early days of sobriety, so it’s important that you plan ahead. Think how you can make Christmas easier and less stressful on yourself? Cut yourself some slack this year! Most of these points look at how you can do just that.
So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second of!
PRIORITISE – Realise that you can’t be everything to everyone. Prioritise what really is important to you this Christmas. Just because you have had the neighbours around every year for a booze up doesn’t mean that you have to do it this year? If certain traditions and events are always focused on drinking you can always suggest something different. You’re working on a New You, it’s ok to break some traditions and do things differently this year!
SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list! Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused! One thing that won’t cost you anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or just a chat. And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own! These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos. Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT! And if you are looking for some fabulous pamper products – I’m your Tropic Gal!
IF IT REQUIRES FAKE SMILING I’M NOT GOING! – This is one of my favourite quotes and since I have stopped drinking it is sooooooo true! Now this is easier said than done at Christmas because there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see! Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave. To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway! Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets!Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel. Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time. Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is important to YOU and that is where you want to be. REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!
PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES – Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just in case there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand! This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward) ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!! After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee! Who knew that these people existed ha ha!! Try it next time and you will be surprised. And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you are driving, it’s a win win situation !
PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol. Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward. The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling like death!! One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on! But nope that wasn’t happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink?? So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself! I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS and next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!
BE REALISTIC! – Don’t expect too much and set yourself up for an emotional melt down! Just because you are in the process of changing doesn’t mean that everyone else is. People will still get drunk, kids will argue and get over tired. Accept that things aren’t perfect, perfect is boring, tell yourself you are perfectly imperfect and you can deal with anything this Christmas throws at you because you are CHOOSING to spend it STRONG AND SOBER!
KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!! This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids! If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with! Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side! My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year. Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs. You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it! It was different, it was FUN!
SEE IT THROUGH A CHILDS EYES -Christmas is such a magical time for kids, get in on that excitement! If you hear the wine witch calling at night then mix it up, do something different. Get a hot chocolate and drive or walk to find the best Christmas lights. If they are a bit older like my two girls maybe go late night shopping, the cinema or a Christmas movie marathon. Its all about changing the usual pattern – and always think about how amazing and hangover free you will feel in the morning.
MAKE THE MOST OF IT – If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it! This is a time when drinking used to be the our main activity, once you take that away the options are endless. Wake up early, see the sunrise whilst everyone sleeps in. Focus on the New Year and starting 2022 feeling fresh and recharged, with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!
Most importantly – if you can survive a sober Christmas you can survive a sober anything!!
There are a lot of ideas and suggestions here and I know they won’t all work for everyone, but this is what works for me!. I’m coming up to my sixth sober Christmas and honestly, alcohol or the absence of it doesn’t really cross my mind now. I know I can have a fantastic Christmas if not the best Christmas without drinking. If like me you have children who are growing up soooo fast, just treasure the sober memories that you make with them this year. And after the year we had last year when we couldn’t see loved ones – make sure this year you make memories to treasure.
Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year!
I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your ideas.
