Tag: strong

Sober Lockdown Lowdown…………

June 13, 2020

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How is lockdown life treating you?

Can you believe we are now entering our 13th week of lockdown – I know rules have been relaxed ‘slightly’ but we are still living in a totally different world than the beginning of the year!

I am not going to lie – some times have been so hard!  And the reason for me not blogging as often as I wanted too was because I have put off thinking about anything in any depth!  My life has been in a little bubble of juggling  the girls at home, being mega busy with Tropic, redecorating the house (well my husband has but its still something extra to deal with!) and just trying to maintain my exercise regime and control my chocolate intake.  I am sure this list is just like the list from so many other people – we are all in this together, each with our own set of problems that lockdown brings.

I mentioned in a past post A letter to my readers…………. that one of my main stresses and triggers is not knowing what is happening and plans being changed.  2020 was going to be such an amazing year – I had so much planned.  I had done a mood board in December last year, full of all my hopes, goals and  dreams for the year ahead.  It was the first time I had ever done a mood board and I felt pretty proud of it,  its got pride of place in my office just next to my desk where I can look at it all the time and remind myself of what I want to achieve this year.

Well as the lockdown days turned into weeks, I can not tell you how much I have wanted to throw this mood board out of the window!  It has caused me so much stress, showing me all of my plans and dreams that have had to be cancelled for this year.

Like so many people I have spoken to lockdown has created a roller-coaster of emotions, and I have been exactly the same.  Some days feeling so positive that I have done so much, and other days not even getting out of my pj’s and being amazed that I’ve manged to just feed the kids.  Apart from my girls being my reason for everything, the other two things that have got me through those days have been my job – everything about Tropic is positive plus some sort of exercise, even just walking the dog.  But paramount in all of this is that even at my lowest point I didn’t pick up a drink!  Believe me some days I would have happily escaped how I felt with a bottle or two of Pinot.

It was around the 21st May – my sober milestone of  three and a half years sober, that my mindset began to change.   I took a step back and started to look at the positives, the main one being I had got through all of this SOBER.  The positivity I got from my Insta page was just unbelievable, plus I am in a Facebook group called The Alcohol Experiment – I think I got over 600 likes and a hundred  of comments –  It was seriously a gamechanger for me.  My mindset changed over night – I had a really good chat with myself, I needed to get a grip, I was inspiring other people.  People were looking at me and watching – I needed to be strong for them.  You guys – my followers, ,my sober warriors, I needed to be strong for you !

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I now accept that things are far from ideal, and we are a long way from ‘normal’ life and seeing our loved ones with no restrictions.  Yes we have had to cancel or postpone a lot of things we had planned but these things will happen and we will cherish them even more.

So when I look at my mood board now, I am slowly starting to love it again.  Mood boards ideally should cover 5 areas of your life, Career, Home, Relationship, Travel and Wellbeing/growth.  They help you find your direction and set your goals.  The idea is that you look at your board regularly and those things should manifest in your life – it’s the perfect example of the power of positivity.

And now that I can bring myself to look at my board again without wanting to smash it into a million pieces I can see that I HAVE achieved some of the things on there without even thinking about it.

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Career – I wanted to grow my little business and become a Manager – I have now got a team of 11, my business has doubled in size and I have definitely smashed working from home! my mood board has a photo of Alan Sugar and Susie Ma, who I was meant to meet in March as I was promoted to manager but will no doubt now meet next year.

 

Home –  I wanted to make my home more cosy, redecorate, and just focus on enjoying time at home and making it a safe place, somewhere that my girls want to be as they grow up.  Well that has certainly come true in lockdown – My picture on my board was fairy lights and people snuggled by the fire with hot chocolate whoch has been a very regular lockdown scene!

Relationship – My plan was to make more time for US, more date nights and time on our own.  That hasn’t happened at all, more like the opposite but we HAVE supported each other through this and the different challenges we have faced. My husband is my rock which I have always known, but this past few months have really highlighted and reminded me, we are a real team, best friends.  Plus he’s amazing at decorating -ha!

Travel – We have had holidays rebooked, cancelled, rebooked! And I really miss holidays.  But we do have a huge list of what we want to do and where we want to go when all of this is over, and I feel like holidays will feel extra special.

Wellbeing/Growth – The sober me LOVES challenges and pushing myself out of my comfort zone ( read my past post You Didnt Come This Far To Only Come This Far!)and I had planned a sky dive at 45 for my 45th Birthday (still time to do that!) My picture showed two skydivers with the quote “Take Every Risk Drop Every Fear”

Being a Bodypump Instructor and as you know I love my weights, I also had a picture that said “Lifting weights doesn’t make people huge, cup cakes make people huge!” And after a couple of months of more chocolate and cake and less weights – yes that’s true!

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So guys all is not lost, giving up is not an option.  2020 can still be a good year.

If this is you right now and you are struggling, please just take a step back and see how far you have come.  You owe it to yourself not to give up.  And if you are In the early days of sobriety you are a sober Rockstar and I salute you – remember we didn’t come this far to only come this far.  Lockdown has taken so much away from us – don’t let it take your positivity, pride and sobriety.

If you have never made a mood board – try it!  Such a positive thing to do and it gives you something to focus on if nothing else.  Think of what you want to fit into this next six months of 2020!

How have you survived lockdown, any tips or advice – please let me know in comments

Find me on Instagram @soberglowgetter for all things sober!

Love Angie xx

 

 

 

 

I’m Still Here – Please Don’t Leave Me!

March 13, 2019

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Hey there – happy warrior Wednesday guys!!!

I am feeling so so so bad! I havent blogged for so long and it makes me feel really guilty.  All of you who have bothered to follow me are so important to me and my sober journey, and hopefully I am important to you on yours?

Life at the moment is pretty much going at a million trillion miles an hour and I am struggling to keep it all together – unfortunately my blogging has taken a back seat and I am sorry.

So a quick update with things – I have finally stopped my ironing business, woo hoo!  My job as a Tropics Skincare Ambassador is just going from strength to strength and I am doing so well I have been given the opportunity to meet Susie Ma and Lord Sugar at the Tropics headquarters – I cant tell you how excited I am about that!  And finally I have passed my theory Exercise To Music course and will be doing the BodyPump course in two weeks – all this plus kids, a crazy labrador puppy and trying to get in my best shape ever – lets just say I have been struggling to fit anything else in!

And you know what, I am not for one second complaining because I would rather have ALL this going on than being stood at my ironing board, Monday to Friday, counting down to wine o’clock day in day out!  Bring on the crazy new me and my sober journey because it really is the gift that keeps on giving!

Is anyone else feeling the same? Does anyone else feel that their life is changing at a crazy rate – in a good way! All because you have stopped drinking and started to chase the things you love to do in life and become the person you want to be.

When it comes to my blog,my baby!  Which is a huge source of sober support for me – please just stick with me.

Everything I am doing now is leading me to give you better posts, I can hopefully look at having my own exercise and sober support programme by the end of the year.   I want to set up a sober on line shop that will include gym t-shirts, sober rewards and all of the lovely Tropics pamper products for you to be able to purchase once you hit your milestones – big and small!

I also want to rewind back to the start of my sober journey for you guys out there in the early days, to help with social outings, friends, weight loss and sober self-care etc

So please stick with me guys!!

In the meantime I am still posting nearly everyday on Insta for sober inspo and motivation so please find me @ lifting weights not wine

Don’t forget you can email or DM me anytime, I love hearing from you and will reply every time!!

Lets carry on  this crazy sober journey of following our hearts and becoming the best version of  us!

Lots Of Love

Angie xx

Happy New You In 2019 !

January 10, 2019

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HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!!

I am so sorry this post is late!  If you follow me on Instagram you will know that dropping my phone down the loo ( who needs alcohol to be clumsy!) and being away on a skiing holiday hasn’t  helped much in my media updates!!

But now I am back so Happy New 2019 – better late than never!

I hope you have had an amazing Christmas and started this year feeling positive and ready for a fabulous year ahead.

Now I am back upto date in the world of social media I can see I have had a boost in followers, so thanks for that guys – I am guessing January is the most popular time of the year for people wanting to kick the booze, especially after a Christmas of heavy drinking and Dry January being popping up everywhere.

If you are looking for help and advice in the early days please read Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress! &  Just start………. which you will hopefully find helpful.

In the early days when I stopped drinking I read A LOT of books about getting sober.  Fiction, non-fiction, podcasts, blogs – anything I could find I would read to inspire me, keep me focused and stop me from picking up the wine.  Now life seems so busy I don’t seem to find the time to read very often, so this Christmas I made sure that a good book was on my list so I could indulge and read it whilst I was away.

The book I read this holiday was GIRL WASH YOUR FACE by Rachel Hollis, it  is an AMAZING read and I strongly recommend that you buy it!  Seriously it is perfect for getting you in warrior mode and determined to achieve whatever you want to achieve in life!!

Basically it is about lies that Rachel has believed all her life, things that have held her back from being who she really wants to be.  Each chapter addresses those lies and fights back with positivity and tips to erase any negativity or obsatcles that are getting in the way of reaching our goals.  It doesn’t focus just on sobriety (one chapter is about alcohol) but it’s for anyone wanting to change any aspect of their life.

One of my favourite chapters is NO IS THE FINAL ANSWER, and it fits in perfectly at this time of year – New Year – New You – New Goals – New Dreams!

Basically Rachel explains that if something means so much to you, then do not accept NO as an answer.

‘NO IS ONLY AN ANSWER IF YOU ACCEPT IT!’

I love this!  Think about it, if it’s something that you truly want to achieve then why let anyone (most importantly yourself) stop you?

What are your goals? What do you want to achieve this year, in five years, ten years?  Where do you want to be? What do you want to be doing? Who do you want to be?  You need to ask yourself these questions and write down the answers. These are your DREAMS, they will never be as impotant to anyone else as they are to you!

Now what is stopping you, why have you given up on these dreams?

Rachel highlights some examples –

‘A boss has told you that you weren’t right for a dream job’

‘A parent, out of love or fear told you not to try’

‘A spouse or partner was afraid they may lose you and tried to keep you anchored’

‘Or you’ve been told your too over weight to run a marathon, too young to start a business or told to take dance lessons!’

This next sentence resonated with me the most –

‘Maybe the voice saying no is your own, maybe the negative self talk in your head has been playing on repeat your entire life!’  

Yep! That is what struck a chord for me.  It really is only since I stopped drinking that I started believing in myself and pursuing changes that I never thought possible.  Because I had done what I thought was impossible – I had stopped drinking!

To all of those who have tried we all know that stopping drinking is hard, people try and fail a million times ( I know I did) but it is so so worth it when you achieve it.  It seriously gives you such a positive outlook on life and opens up new doors for you.  You just feel like you want to live more, do more, be more!  Goals and dreams ARE difficult to achieve, and that is what makes it so amazing when we get there.

Rachel reinforces that giving up is not an option:-

‘Don’t tell me you have to give up because its difficult.  This is the difference between living a life you always dreamed of or sitting alongside the death of the person you were meant to become.  You have to do something about it, you have to reach down inside yourself and remember the reason why you started this’

This is why you need to write down these goals and dreams so that you can always look back on them if you feel like life is getting in the way and you’re being distracted.  Your goals can be large or small, from feeling confident in a bikini to running a worldwide organistaion or running a marathon!  What matters is that they are important to you! They should set your soul on fire and no matter how scary it feels to try to achieve them – giving up on  them should scare you more!

Personally I have a list of about eight things I want to achieve this year, mainly linked to Lifting Weights Not Wine and a career change to a job that will make me want to jump out of bed every morning! That is my main goal! Some days it seems like a lot of hardwork to get to where I want to be and I worry that at 43 time is not really on my side, especially when I think of all the super fit twenty year olds entering the fitness industry!  But I drown that voice out by doing something to get me closer to where I want to be, from a workout to studying for my course, just something to get me one step closer.

So if you haven’t done so already, ask yourself what are your goals and dreams and start writing them down.  Make a plan to get you to where you want to be, and forget how long it will take  – just start!

Rachels’ book is amazing and I recommend it for anyone who needs to start believing in themselves and embark on their own journey to become who they want to be! My twelve-year-old even started reading it after I had finished it and she loves it, how amazing is that,  imagine having this positivity and belief in yourself at such a young age – you go girl!

If you have signed up for Dry January – let me know how it’s going?  Message me if you need to for any help and advice.  You are doing one of the best things that you can for your mind, body  and soul by giving yourself a break from the booze.  Keep up the good work and who knows 2019 may be your first sober year, you may not want to stop at the end of  January.  Believe me sobriety is the gift that keeps on giving and life just gets better and better!

If you are looking for daily sober inspiration please find me on Instagram @liftingweightsnotwine

2019 HERE WE COME!

Angie xx

 

Change Involves A Challenge!

November 7, 2018

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When I started my blog I had no intention of setting up the Lifting Weights Not wine exercise challenges, they just sort of happened!  Initially they helped give me content for my Instagram page @liftingweightsnotwine and now I’ve ended up having a few messages asking to start another one!  So on Monday 12th November I will start a new 40 day challenge that will run up to the 21st December, which is perfect timing for Christmas.

I don’t know about you guys but I am certainly someone who likes to journal or chart any sort of progress I am making.

For years I was obsessed with writing down my weight and aiming for a certain (normally unrealistic) goal in a specific time frame (unhealthy obsession I know!)

Then when I became aware that my drinking was getting worse and I wanted to cut down/stop, I downloaded the Drinkaware App.  Now this App is brilliant BUT you have to be honest with what you put into it, and that was my problem! You would find me fiddling my units on a sunday night in an attempt to make my weekend alcohol intake look better!

Then once I had stopped drinking, I (like every other soberista out there) started tracking my days and weeks of sobriety.  This stopped when I got to one year and now I track it monthly along with the exercise challenges to keep me motivated!

OK, so I know it looks like I’m a bit of a crazy woman writing down and tracking all of these things but it all refers back to one thing………………………….

MOVING FORWARD AND WANTING TO CHANGE!!

Here’s the thing, if you want to make your life better, you’re going to have to challenge yourself!

It’s so easy to stay the same, especially when it comes to our lifestyles.  We are in our own comfort zone and although we may be unhappy with how we look and feel,  that feeling is “easier” than taking on the challenge to change.  How we are is the norm, it’s what we are used to and it’s how our friends and family are used to seeing us.  Its comfy. Its normal. Its easy!

Personally I feel that we live in a society where drinking is considered normal.  I know I have had a lot of raised eyebrows when ive told people I don’t drink anymore, which is crazy when you think if I told people I don’t do crack cocaine anymore they would give me a pat on the back and think I was amazing! (Anyway I could blog about that all night long but I will save it for another post!)   We are so embedded into the drinking culture that surrounds us that its hard to escape,  its hard to make the change as we get pressure from around us to remain the same and stick with the “norm”!

Some changes are inevitable and we just have to accept them, like growing old, ill-health, financial situations, relationships etc some changes  WILL occur and there is nothing you can do but accept them and adapt.

The real challenge is when you decide to make a change yourself .

Stopping drinking was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, it was a huge challenge, it wasn’t easy but I just knew that I couldn’t stay the same.  I had to move from the place I was in, I was unhappy and unhealthy and I didn’t want to continue feeling the way that I did.  But by doing it I have proved to myself that I am capable of so many other things, I can push myself outside of my comfort zone and achieve so many other things with my life.  So now it’s opened up the door to lots of other challenges for me such as; focusing on a new career, pushing myself physically, wanting to learn and do new things and having an outlook that life really is one big adventure!

You have got to keep challenging yourself to change, yes its hard, yes you feel stressed and  uncomfortable at the thought of it but at the end of the day its the only way you will get there.  And in no time at all the ‘old you’ will be what makes you feel uncomfortable and the new you and how you live your life will become the norm for yourself and everyone around you.

So start right now – set the challenge – write it down – and make the change! And if you need some accountability or support then join me on Monday for my 40 day exercise challenge, tie it in with no alcohol and you will be feeling AMAZING by Christmas! And who knows you may want to spend this christmas sober! (Sober Christmas blog post coming soon)

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Any advice, tips or questions then please comment below or just to let me know how things are going for you on your sober journey?

Angie xx

 

 

 

Own Your Story And Write A New Chapter……

October 12, 2018

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This week I have had my first ever interview with the lovely Gayle from the sober website and Instagram page SOBER BLISS!  Gayle offers a professional and personal service for people looking to stop drinking and discover the world of Sober Bliss!  You can find her at www.Sober-Bliss.com

So Gayle contacted me to see if I would share my sober story so far, for her to share on her you tube channel and website.  I am not going to lie, at first I was really nervous and hesitant as I still haven’t shared my Lifting Weights Not Wine Blog to ALL of my friends and family.   But I thought hey why not, I need to practice what I preach and step outside of my comfort zone with this!

So we set a time, and I was surprised at how easy it went.  It really was like just chatting with a friend over a coffee! If you would like to watch the full interview please follow the link below (and you may need to make a cup of tea, its a full 30 minutes, believe me I can talk!)  I feel like I have shared a little more of my story and revealed a little more of myself and the reasons why I have stopped drinking.   Listening back to it I did feel emotional, some parts are hard to hear and they take me back to not a very good place, but I wanted it come from the heart and it did.

I am so glad that I did it because I believe it is so important to share the positive message of sobriety.  There is a stigma attached to sobriety that it’s boring, dull, grey and that your life is over if you stop drinking alcohol!  Believe me this is certainly NOT the case!  I know that stopping drinking has given me a new lease of life, a lust for life a yearning to constantly try new things and push myself outside of my comfort zone.  I am doing things that I had only dreamt of doing before with a new found confidence.  I believe in myself!   That doesn’t sound very grey and boring to me, especially when you compare it to sitting on the settee with a bottle of wine most weekends or nursing a hangover!

If my story can inspire just one person to change their drinking habits and start on a journey to be the best version of themselves, without the booze, then I will feel proud to have shared it.

We all have a story, and if we are unhappy with how it is turning out it’s important to realise that you have the power inside of you to change it.

“When we deny the story, it defines us.  When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.”

(BRENE BROWN)

 

So I have made this a short post as I would love you to head over to You Tube by clicking on the link When Sober Bliss Meets Lifting Weights Not Wine

Please let me know what you think and if you like it then please share away, the more positive sober success stories out there the better!

Have a lovely weekend and enjoy those heavenly hangover free mornings!

Angie xx

Focus On Your Weights At The Gym Going Up, Not Your Weight Going Down.

October 5, 2018

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Ok so where do I begin…….. let me try to cut a long story short (well as short as possible!)

So from the age of about fourteen I have weighed myself approximately three times every week (minimum), more often than not on a daily basis.  My weight in that time has fluctuated from 9 stone to 12-13stone,  this isn’t including my weight when I was  pregnant with my girls. I sort of went off the scales then (literally!) but I was busy growing my babies, so nothing else mattered!  I am sure I am not alone in saying that I have had a very unhealthy relationship with weighing scales, they can determine my  whole mood, diet, energy and plans for the day ahead in a heartbeat – yes they really have that power over me or should I say they  HAD that power over me!

When I gave up alcohol, I knew that I could potentially turn to food and that could be my new addiction,  food could fill the gap alcohol had left behind.  This is why I had to consciously focus on exercise and trying to get in my best possible shape, so that if I was indulging in treat foods at least I was burning some of them off too.  In a previous post I explain how exercise is possibly my new addiction but at least its a healthy one. Exercise – A Healthy Addiction!

It’s only recently that I have had to try to get out of the really bad habit of weighing myself regularly, and I have got to be honest I have  struggled.  My main issue has been my weight gain from lifting heavier weights, and even though my clothes size has gone down I just feel frustrated because the number on the scale has gone up.   It’s crazy I know but I am sure that I’m not the only one who feels like this?

So the said scales are currently locked away in the shed and I am trying to stay body positive, which some days is harder than others.  I am just trying to focus on how I feel – I am lifting heavier weights than I have ever done, I have more energy, I am eating good, healthy, regular meals and snacks with not so healthy treats occasionally too.  A healthy,  balanced, realisitc diet.  A tiny little square that I step on every morning cannot measure how I feel, and although it’s work in progress I definitely feel like I am getting there.

Earlier this week I was chatting with a friend at the gym and she was telling me that she doesn’t weigh herself and instead uses a pair of jeans as a guide!  It felt like a light bulb moment for me, and I promised myself to do exactly the same.  It feels so liberating and scary!  It’s crazy how I could put own the wine glass pretty easily yet struggle with my battle with the scales.  I suppose somethings are easier to give up than others.

An article from The Insider (March 2018) gives 5 reasons why you should stop weighing yourself NOW!

  • It can distract from body cues – the number becomes so important that you ignore important body signals such as exhaustion and stress.
  • It can create mental obstacles – for example it can determine your mood and diet for the rest of the day even effecting your social life in some cases.
  • It can go hand in hand with or encourage eating disorders as the number on the scale becomes priority over everything else.
  • Standard scales don’t indicate your body composition, so they can’t tell you the distribution of fat and lean mass on your body.  This is why someone with a lot of muscle can look slimmer than someone with a higher fat composition, even if they both weigh the same amount.  If you only focus on the number, you could be stopping yourself from building muscle that will ultimately make you appear leaner.
  • And finally, the number on the scale is a poor indicator of your overall health!

So now my focus is watching the weights I’m lifting going up instead of obsessing about the number on the scale going down.  Who’s with me??  After all how can we measure our awesomeness on a set of scales!  I am stronger now than I have ever been and although my scales have been saying I am around 10lbs up from what I was at the beginning of the year, I am also fitting into a size 8 pair of jeans (that has NEVER happened) – I just need to get my head around it, and I am……..  slowly…..its work in progress!

I apologise that this post isn’t really about quitting the booze.  However it is something I have wanted to discuss, and I feel I have taken ownership of it now that I have shared it with you all.  And if its helps someone else in the process then that’s even better!

To anyone who is Going Sober for October, you are nearly a week into it and that’s amazing!  Make sure you have lots of alcohol free drinks stocked in the fridge (and chocolate!)  and that you spend the weekend nurturing yourself and taking time to chill – you are SMASHING it!

I will finish with a quote I saw recently (unknown):-

Your best weight is whatever weight you reach, when you’re living the healthiest life you actually enjoy living!

Well,  I will raise a Becks Blue to that!

For further tips and sober support please follow me on Instagram  @liftingweightsnotwine

I hope you have a happy, healthy weekend.

Angie xx

It’s not just about stopping drinking….

September 24, 2018

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I apologise to anyone who follows me on Instagram because it’s the second time I have used this pic since Saturday,  yes its me making star jumps whilst out on a run early Saturday morning!  I’ve used it again because this picture sums up how I feel most of the time now I have  stopped drinking – yes there are off days but ninety percent of the time I am in star jump mode!!!!!!!!!!

” I Didn’t Get Sober To Sit On The Couch”

Now this is a quote (unknown) that I have seen so many times on Instagram and social media and I never really understood it until I was around 10-11 months sober, then suddenly it clicked!  For the first twelve months I was just counting down to the big ‘one year of not drinking’ and yes I was exercising regularly and feeling good in myself, which for the first months was the reward I needed, I felt amazing but this quote still didn’t register with me.

It was only around the ten month mark that I started thinking …………what happens after the first twelve months, what next? Do I carry on my journey? Do I try and moderate? Do I drift back into my old habits and just have this 12 months as proof that I can do it?  (Gosh the thought of going back to that makes me feel physically sick , the wheels would fall off big time!)

NO – I wanted to take my journey further, I needed to take the next step that came naturally ………. so my little blog was born followed by my Instagram page, which this weekend got to over one thousand followers, woo hoo I still can’t quite believe it!  Having a blog and Instagram page is something I could never have imagined the old me doing, I didn’t believe in myself enough to do something like that.  It is what other people do but not me. But here I am 22 months sober and it’s happening.  And that’s the key, stopping drinking alcohol has made this possible for me for a number of reasons:-

  • I have confidence in myself that I have never had before.
  • It has given me so much more free time to do the things I love. I am no longer planning my time around wine time and hangovers.  I’ve got 24 hours a day to spend, fully functional, full of energy on whatever I want!
  • I don’t have the niggling negativity that I would get after a boozy weekend, the self-doubt and anxiety I talked about in my last post (read it hereAlcohol & Anxiety, …….
  • I discovered my love of lifting weights and the amazing feeling of being strong both inside and out.
  • I’ve found that there is a whole new world out there in social media, of people sharing their stories and who are on a similar journey to me. All supporting one another. People who build you up not knock you down.

This week I am taking another step forward in my journey, a big step for me…………….. I am hopefully looking at becoming a fitness instructor in January 2019.  So this week I am mixing my exercise up a little and i’ve got a three-day pass for a local gym to try all of their classes and help me make a decision in what I want to teach.  I never thought I would be looking at this as an option, it’s the sort of job that I would look at and feel envious of people doing it. I could never be that fit, healthy, in shape or confident enough to do that. But that was the old me, and although I do keep having a bit of a wobble about it, I just know that I will give it my all and love every part of the process even if it does scare me to death somedays, deep down I know I can do it- it something that I’m excited about!

When you stop drinking or even if you’re trying to cut down its so easy to focus on what you’re giving up, but instead focus on everything you have to gain.  Think of all the things you want to do but haven’t had the confidence or self-worth to do them.  Alcohol feeds all your negative emotions, it enables you to escape your reality. By stopping drinking you create so much space to create a life you love and achieve things that you have only dreamt of in the past.

So now I understand the quote “I didn’t get sober to sit on the couch”  I have spent hours and hours sat on my couch sipping wine, and now I want to make up for that.  You don’t necessarily have to be signing up for mud runs or becoming a fitness instructor, you may want to write a book, learn a language, travel more, make a career move, make a relationship move even or just start your own blog??? The list of possibilities are endless! Write your list down of what you want to achieve and make that your motivation to stop drinking, to start or continue on your sober journey. There’s a whole new world out there for the sober you, stop letting alcohol hold you back!

If your following me on Instagram @lifitingweightsnotwine I will be posting my exercise challenge updates on there daily to keep myself and anyone else motivated and I apologise in advance for any future star jump pics!!!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy week ahead.

 Angie xx

Find Your Tribe…..

August 8, 2018

 

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There are a lot of online support groups out there to help you stop drinking.  And the most important word in that sentence is GROUP!

If you’re a regular reader of my blog you will know that it took me about 12-18 months to finally quit drinking successfully.  And during that time I knew deep down that I didn’t have a healthy relationship with alcohol and it was taking up a lot more of my mind than it should have been.  Any free time I had would be spent googling about cutting down, quitting all together, how much is too much?  And my favourite – quitting alcohol success stories and transformation pictures (which I still love to read!)  I can honestly remember being sat at my girls tennis lessons on a Monday evening, after feeling rubbish all day with a weekend hangover, googling over and over again, feeling so desperate to change the pattern of self destruct that I was repeating weekend after weekend.

I’ve got to be honest, I did feel very alone, I didn’t discuss my drinking with anyone. My main reason for stopping drinking was how bad it was making me feel physically and the guilt I felt because I couldn’t stop or cut down,  it wasn’t really something I wanted to admit to friends and family.  I  didn’t have the courage to join any online groups because I didn’t feel like one of those people, I didn’t believe I could ever stop drinking.  I felt like I was the only person who felt this way.  The first online blog I started reading was Clare Pooley – Mummy Was A Secret Drinker.  I could certainly relate to her story and it felt amazing to know there are other people out there who aren’t necessarily alcoholics but know that they have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

After a particularly boozy weekend, I emailed  Clare on second day of not drinking and she replied within an hour.  I still think if she hadn’t had replied I wouldn’t be where I am today,  nearly 21 months sober.  I started to read her blog from day one and read the comments and even commented on some posts myself and I suddenly felt part of a group, a support system, a safe place where I could be honest about my drinking and people understood because they felt the same.

I would advise anyone trying to stop drinking to look online and find a group they feel comfortable with, and you know what you shouldn’t have to pay anything to join.  There are lots of free, helpful groups out there.

Other ones I have joined are Living Sober and a Facebook group called The Unexpected Joy Of Being Sober (after the book by Catherine Gray).  I have also found so many new friends on the same sober journey, through my Instagram page and blog.  Its been amazing how many people have contacted me for help and advice, and sometimes you just need someone to listen who isn’t  going to judge, and I think online support provides that because we are all going through the same thing.  The people who follow me, motivate and inspire me just like I hopefully do for them.  It’s a two-way thing and there is no negativity, no nasty comments, unlike in the real world where I have had quite a few.

In real life yes you do have your family and friends who support you. But let me just put things into perspective, I only actually physically know two actual people who have stopped drinking.  One is a neighbour who is also a customer of mine and I recently discovered a school mum from my eldest daughters class has also been sober since Janury.  So you can see its much easier to find the sober support you’re looking for online!

Being anonymous (if you choose to be) online also gives you more confidence when it comes to talking about your drinking habits, as a lot of people keep their drinking habits a secret if they know they are developing a problem.  Being anonymous was a huge thing for me in the early days, it allowed me to open up about my relationship with alcohol to those who were feeling exactly the same.  I’ve gradually introduced my blog and Instagram page to close family and friends, but I am waiting for my 2 year soberversary before I shout it out to the big wide world of Facebook!  I am hopefully looking at starting up a closed Facebook Lifting Weights Not Wine Group in the not too distant future so I will keep you posted.

In the meantime if you haven’t already,  then please take a look at the support groups and blogs I have mentioned.  If you’re at the stage that I was at, hovering on google because I was too scared and had zero confidence in myself to stop drinking, don’t wait any longer just reach out for help and that one reply may be all you need to kick-start your sober journey!

Have any of you joined any other good online support groups or blogs that you could recommend for others?   I will be starting another 100 day of exercise challenge at the beginning of September so I will keep you all updated in that too!

Angie xx

 

 

You Don’t Have To Wait For Rock Bottom….

June 30, 2018

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

“Rock bottom has built more heroes than privilege.”

“Hitting rock bottom is an opportunity to rebuild yourself.”

Okay, so any of you who follow me on Instagram will know that I love my quotes!  To me a good quote that you can relate to and connect with, can totally change your attitude and outlook at least for that day.

Now when you look-up sobriety quotes or read recovery books or even just talk to people about sobriety, “Rock Bottom” is mentioned a lot!

  • When did you know you had hit rock bottom?
  • What was your rock bottom?
  • How bad was it?
  • What did you do, how bad was it?

And for some people yes, they may have hit an all time low, a rock bottom, done a horrendous thing to make them realise they have a problem with drinking and this is their wake up call.  The only was is up!

I didn’t hit rock bottom.   Speaking for myself, as a 42 year old mum my life isn’t wild enough for my drinking to take me to rock n roll, rock bottom adventures.  Apart from the odd night out, or party where I would do something to embarrass myself (normally falling over or out of the taxi, or saying something with zero filter!) my drinking habits were just slowly but surely zapping the life out of me, and making me more boring than wild!

I was still a fully functioning person, a mum,  wife, running my own business and just keeping everything running smoothly.  On the outside I looked normal (well as normal as I can!) but inside I felt like I was getting old before my time, my confidence was low, my energy low, I had little to no patience and I just had no sense of adventure or love for life.

As I have said before, it took me months of trying to quit before I actually succeeded.   It was a slow decision, my mind was constantly torn between moderating, quitting and drinking plans so I didn’t feel rough over the weekend.  Once I did stop drinking I didn’t have to think about it anymore, that feeling is unbelievable and gives you so much more room to think about what you love.  I just so wish I had done it sooner and that is seriously my only regret.  I now feel so much stronger both physically and mentally and feeling like I am living life as my best self and not just a washed out version like I used to be.  We all know the dreaded beer fear that you get after a boozy weekend, where anything and everything makes you anxious or depressed, well that’s now gone.  I feel confident and fresh every morning, including Mondays, I even posted about how much I love them here!Magic Mondays Not Manic Mondays!

One thing that really is annoying is when people just assume that hitting rock bottom is why you stopped drinking! Or assume that you ‘cant drink’  If people just took the time to ask they would realise that I didnt hit rock bottom and I don’t drink because I don’t WANT to drink.  That is my personal choice and the best choice I have ever made for my mental and physical health, myself and my family.

The Recovery Village did a fab article on this:-

“So how do we change before we hit rock bottom? It boils down to an individuals willingness to change and recognise the path their life is taking.  Addiction thrives on a person living in denial of whats really going on.  Rock bottom isn’t for everyone because the worst case scenario does not have to be when someone decides that changing their life is worth it.  It should be a matter of getting honest with ourselves, and making the daily choice to change their life around.

If you are currently struggling, you can change your life around today.  Not a few months from now or a few years down the road but RIGHT NOW.  Rock bottom doesn’t have to be on the cards for you. Regain control of your life by putting an end to what is bringing you down.”

And that is exactly the message that I am trying to send, whatever it is that you are unhappy with, just make that change.  Dont wait for things to get worse or hit rock bottom.  Start today. Stop saying you will start Monday, next month or next year.  Life is seriously too short to be at war with yourself.  Make today the first day of your journey to becoming the best version of you and start living the life you love!

I hope your all having a happy, healthy, sunny Saturday!

Angie

 

 

 

Magic Mondays Not Manic Mondays!

June 11, 2018

Correct me if I’m wrong but Mondays very rarely get credit for being “good” days! I mean there has even been songs about how rubbish they are!

Mondays for me are one of the days I appreciate the most since I have stopped drinking, now they feel like one of the best days of the week. A fresh start, feeling recharged after the weekend and ready to tackle what lies ahead. They are one of the mornings, apart from Saturday and Sunday that I just really appreciate not having a hangover or feeling blah after a weekend of piggin out and drinking.

Rewind eighteen months ago and I used to dread a Monday morning. That feeling of dread would start on a Sunday night, around tea time, and I would be pouring another glass of wine to drown out that dread. I would start feeling anxious and just unable to cope with the things I had to do in the week ahead.

Now I still have the stress of things to do, but the anxiety has gone (90% of the time anyway!) And instead I spend an hour on a Sunday night preparing for the week ahead, planning my work, getting things in my diary and writing lots of lists! (I am definitely a list girl!). So I have still got the same amount of things to do, probably more now because I am generally doing more with my time now that I don’t drink, but my mind is just in a better place. I’ve not got the anxiety or the feeling of not being able to cope, and that is certainly down to me stopping drinking.

Monday morning was also the day I would start a crash diet, or crazy health kick after knowing I had over indulged all weekend. So I would set myself unrealistic goals including a strict exercise plan or start off the week starving myself. I mean you would have thought a woman in her forties would realise how that was gonna workout??? Yep by Wednesday I would be feeling like a failure and eating whatever, already thinking “I will start next Monday!”

Now my Monday’s are pretty much like every other day. I try to fit in whatever exercise I can, if I’ve a quiet ish day it will be a full weights workout like I did this morning, or if I have a lot on with work it will be a quick dog walk or ab workout. I will be careful with my diet and limit any treats if I’ve had a lot over the weekend but in general I will just be eating the same as I do on most days.

So now for me Monday’s feel good, I feel fresh and armed to face the week ahead. And I think what I could have got done all of those Monday’s I spent waiting for the day to finish because I felt so rubbish! They were just totally wasted days.

When I first stopped drinking I can remember looking forward to Monday mornings and wanting to skip up the school drive with the kids. But I didn’t obviously! Imagine how that would annoy someone who was feeling how I used to feel, not good! But inside I was skipping and loving these new Monday mornings that I had discovered. They were actually a huge motivator for me to not drink over the weekend because I loved the feeling of a hangover free Monday morning, and they still never get old.

It’s never too late to start, use today to chase your dreams and get closer to your goals whatever they may be! Wether it’s drinking less or stopping altogether, exercising more, eating healthy and getting in shape. Just start today!!

Have you any tips on how you prepare for the week ahead? Are your Monday’s totally different after quitting the booze? Any advice for others looking to do the same?

And I apologise in advance if you spend the rest of the day singing “just another manic Monday” because it’s been in my head all morning too!!

Hope you all have a happy, healthy Monday

Angie xx