Category: health and fitness sober exercise weights healthy

Find Your Tribe…..

August 8, 2018

 

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There are a lot of online support groups out there to help you stop drinking.  And the most important word in that sentence is GROUP!

If you’re a regular reader of my blog you will know that it took me about 12-18 months to finally quit drinking successfully.  And during that time I knew deep down that I didn’t have a healthy relationship with alcohol and it was taking up a lot more of my mind than it should have been.  Any free time I had would be spent googling about cutting down, quitting all together, how much is too much?  And my favourite – quitting alcohol success stories and transformation pictures (which I still love to read!)  I can honestly remember being sat at my girls tennis lessons on a Monday evening, after feeling rubbish all day with a weekend hangover, googling over and over again, feeling so desperate to change the pattern of self destruct that I was repeating weekend after weekend.

I’ve got to be honest, I did feel very alone, I didn’t discuss my drinking with anyone. My main reason for stopping drinking was how bad it was making me feel physically and the guilt I felt because I couldn’t stop or cut down,  it wasn’t really something I wanted to admit to friends and family.  I  didn’t have the courage to join any online groups because I didn’t feel like one of those people, I didn’t believe I could ever stop drinking.  I felt like I was the only person who felt this way.  The first online blog I started reading was Clare Pooley – Mummy Was A Secret Drinker.  I could certainly relate to her story and it felt amazing to know there are other people out there who aren’t necessarily alcoholics but know that they have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

After a particularly boozy weekend, I emailed  Clare on second day of not drinking and she replied within an hour.  I still think if she hadn’t had replied I wouldn’t be where I am today,  nearly 21 months sober.  I started to read her blog from day one and read the comments and even commented on some posts myself and I suddenly felt part of a group, a support system, a safe place where I could be honest about my drinking and people understood because they felt the same.

I would advise anyone trying to stop drinking to look online and find a group they feel comfortable with, and you know what you shouldn’t have to pay anything to join.  There are lots of free, helpful groups out there.

Other ones I have joined are Living Sober and a Facebook group called The Unexpected Joy Of Being Sober (after the book by Catherine Gray).  I have also found so many new friends on the same sober journey, through my Instagram page and blog.  Its been amazing how many people have contacted me for help and advice, and sometimes you just need someone to listen who isn’t  going to judge, and I think online support provides that because we are all going through the same thing.  The people who follow me, motivate and inspire me just like I hopefully do for them.  It’s a two-way thing and there is no negativity, no nasty comments, unlike in the real world where I have had quite a few.

In real life yes you do have your family and friends who support you. But let me just put things into perspective, I only actually physically know two actual people who have stopped drinking.  One is a neighbour who is also a customer of mine and I recently discovered a school mum from my eldest daughters class has also been sober since Janury.  So you can see its much easier to find the sober support you’re looking for online!

Being anonymous (if you choose to be) online also gives you more confidence when it comes to talking about your drinking habits, as a lot of people keep their drinking habits a secret if they know they are developing a problem.  Being anonymous was a huge thing for me in the early days, it allowed me to open up about my relationship with alcohol to those who were feeling exactly the same.  I’ve gradually introduced my blog and Instagram page to close family and friends, but I am waiting for my 2 year soberversary before I shout it out to the big wide world of Facebook!  I am hopefully looking at starting up a closed Facebook Lifting Weights Not Wine Group in the not too distant future so I will keep you posted.

In the meantime if you haven’t already,  then please take a look at the support groups and blogs I have mentioned.  If you’re at the stage that I was at, hovering on google because I was too scared and had zero confidence in myself to stop drinking, don’t wait any longer just reach out for help and that one reply may be all you need to kick-start your sober journey!

Have any of you joined any other good online support groups or blogs that you could recommend for others?   I will be starting another 100 day of exercise challenge at the beginning of September so I will keep you all updated in that too!

Angie xx

 

 

100 Days Of Exercise Challenge- Done! ✅

July 27, 2018

So one hundred days ago I set myself a challenge to exercise everyday for 100 days. That seems ages ago now but I am finally here at the end of it all- so what have I got out of it!?!?

Ok, well first of all my weight hasn’t changed. My first reaction when I weighed myself this morning was – whhhhhhaaaaatttt!!!!! Nope not one single pound has been lost! However, since I stopped drinking I have tried not to focus on weight as I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post ‘Strong Not Skinny’ the priority for me is how I feel, not what the scales say. And to be honest I’ve been pretty relaxed with my diet, purely because I have been exercising so much. They say a fit body is made in the kitchen so maybe I need to focus on diet more and start tracking my food and eating clean(er) but hey I’m a sober foodie, what else can I say!!

I have totally realised that I NEED to exercise early, every single morning to make sure I get it in for the day. At the start of the challenge I was just fitting it in as and when but I found that quite stressful and felt like I was putting it off with other things getting in the way. I really had to sit down and think about when was the best time to do it. I have read articles from people who get up super early to have that extra hour to exercise or do jobs or anything to get them a step ahead for the day. And for me, waking up at 5.45 am and exercising between 6-7am has definitely been the way forward and made the challenge achievable. It’s certainly something I want to continue, it works for me and fits in with my life and family. I think that’s the secret to success with any fitness or health goal, it has to be realistic long term.

One thing that I wasn’t expecting in this challenge was that somedays I have been reduced to tears!! And that is due to the support and messages I have received from others! I have logged my daily exercise on my Instagram page @liftingweightsnotwine, and it’s been lovely to have support from others who are doing the challenge with me. I’ve also had some lovely emails from people who are telling me how well they are doing, some are on an exercise challenge, sober challenge or adjusting their diet, giving up sugar or just on a health kick in general. I have found my blog and Instagram page amazing for support and motivation and I have enjoyed giving back and inspiring others in the process. This is certainly one thing that I want to continue! My social media circle of support has been amazing!

Consistency has also certainly been key, my fitness levels have definitely improved and I’m lifting heavier weights and have much more energy. For a long,long time, especially when I was drinking, my fitness attempts would be in fits and starts. I would have a few good days or weeks and then have a mega blow out, not exercising for weeks sometimes months and ending up back at square one. I haven’t been able to have days or weeks off with this challenge so I have realised that being consistent is the key to seeing the results.

This challenge has also made exercise a priority, each and everyday. Now, since I gave up the booze, exercise has been a huge focus for me. It’s helped me transform and become strong both mentally and physically. Some days it’s hard, very hard to find time for exercise- and we all have those days where it’s the last thing we want to do. But I feel like now it’s a priority and I want to make sure I exercise everyday, because I know how good it makes me feel. Thirty minutes of running or weights and I can be a changed person, feeling more positive and stress free. Now that’s not only good for me but good for my family and everyone around me too!!!

The one thing I am looking forward to is having my Sunday back as a rest day. Throughout the challenge I have normally done something with my family on a Sunday because the weekends together are so important to us, so it’s been a walk or bike ride together. But it will be nice to think if I don’t manage to do anything then it’s ok. It is important to have a rest day and Sunday is a perfect day to recharge ready for the week ahead.

Finally, one thing I didn’t realise was the timing and when exactly my challenge would finish! In my head I was planning on maybe a massage or little bit of retail therapy to reward myself, but no, tomorrow I am doing the Tough Mudder 11 mile mud race with over 20 obstacles!! Eeeeeeeek!!! Talk about timing! I’m sure there will be a post to follow, on that torturous event!!!! (I love it really!)

To any of my fellow challengers who have been doing the 100 days with me, how did you get on? What have you achieved and learnt from your 100 days? Do you want to do another challenge with me, any ideas what we could do next?

One thing I do know is that I love a challenge and as they say “If it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you” and as I’m on a journey of transformation I will probably be doing another challenge very soon, so watch this space!!

Have a fab, healthy weekend, doing what makes you happy 😊

Angie xx

Support Or Sabotage?….

July 19, 2018

How does your partner impact your sobriety? Are they positive and supportive or are they negative and destructive?

I do believe that how someone deals with their partners sobriety says a lot about their own drinking habits and relationship with alcohol. But their support or lack of it can definitely affect your success rate when kicking the booze.

Luckily my other half isn’t a big drinker.  He has always been able to drink in moderation, unlike me who didn’t know when to stop.  Now I’m not saying he hasn’t had blow outs and hangovers from hell but they are very few and far between.  So when I decided to give up he was very supportive, and since then he has been drinking a lot less himself.  It’s clear that I was the main drinker, the one who encouraged him to drink  alcohol more often so that I wasn’t drinking on my own.

So when I decided to stop, it was easy for him to cut down.  So say if we were staying in all weekend, he could easily just not drink, which in the early days was a huge support for me because it just removed alcohol from the situation and out-of-the-way of temptation.

Now if it was the other way round and he had decided to stop drinking and not me, I just know my drinking habits wouldn’t have changed. I would probably have ended up drinking more because I would be annoyed that he had stopped, if you know what I mean? And I am not sure how that would have worked in our relationship? So luckily for us it’s me that decided to be teetotal and not him!!

Since I set up my blog I have had several emails that mention lack of support from their partner being an issue.  And it must make it so difficult.  I mean when you’re having a moment of weakness you need someone to say ” don’t have a drink, you have come so far” you don’t need to hear “come on, who are you trying to kid, you will never do it, let me get you a drink!” Or words to that effect.

I’ve also had messages saying that alcohol was such a big part in their relationship that once it’s removed it leaves a gaping hole, a void, leaving people thinking ‘what can we do now?’

And it is true, if a lot of your time was spent socializing in the pub or having long, leisurely meals over a couple of bottles of wine, then yes you may need to get your thinking caps on and come up with some alternative date nights! Try things you’ve never done before, go to different places, just enjoy the time together, just the two of you (and if you’ve got kids most importantly the kid free time!!)

We don’t have date nights very often, possibly once a month.  The pictures above were taken last Friday night, our date night. We were planning on going to the cinema, however the film options were not very good so we decided on a walk at a beautiful seaside town close by.  It was a gorgeous night (the UK has had an amazing summer so far!) and we managed a 6k walk, then found a restaurant that served the best apple crumble and sat and had it with a coffee before we walked another 6k back to the car. As nights out go it wasn’t my wildest, but it was a really lovely night and we chatted a lot and reconnected with whats going on in our busy lives.   I would say a perfect date night, but I’ve got to keep it real and be honest – we argued and I sulked for the first ten minutes because my husband hates me taking all the pictures!! He’s not a selfie lover!! Ha ha!! Apart from that it was a fab night, and I would NEVER had done that if I was drinking, EVER!

Being sober for me just opens up so many other options for a date night, going to different places, cinema nights, walks and shopping! And it’s so much better than going to the same old pubs, getting drunk and talking the same dribble or arguing over nothing and waking up to remember none of it the next day!

So what’s your experience with your partner on your sober journey?  Are they supportive or are they sabotaging your sober attempts?  If they are ask them why? Could they have a problem with their own drinking, maybe encourage them to do it with you? Discuss what you can do with all the money that you will save!  It may be that they are just afraid of you changing, are you going to be a different person? Will you end up doing different things?! Well probably YES,  but that can be a good thing not a bad thing!

I know that being sober has made our relationship stronger in severaly ways:-

  • We argue a lot less.  When I was in that sort of mood,  after a drink I would argue about anything and just not let it go.
  • We get to do different things together on nights out and as a family as a whole.
  • I have saved us a fortune, we all know alcohol isn’t cheap!
  • And probably the best thing for my husband is that he has his very own personal taxi driver,  free of charge!!!

So if your struggling, sit and talk together.  Believe me,  stopping drinking will only benefit you and your realtionship.

I hope it’s a healthy week for you all!

PS ( to those who read my last post, and to the people who messaged and commented, to wish me luck,  I am so pleased to say I got the all clear yesterday and there’s nothing to worry about! Woo hoo!)

Angie x

Perfect Timing!

July 6, 2018

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You know when things happen for a reason, well this card is just that!

I had an hour to spare before the school run so I sat down to do a quick blog entry, then ……. total mental block ( and I know why, so stick with me!)  Literally at the same second this card came through my door, it’s from a very close, good friend who I worked with nearly twenty years ago and thankfully we have kept in touch.  She wrote inside “I saw this and thought of you, loving your blog and insta!” How lovely!!!! She will be reading this and she is a superstar, supporting me 100% on this sober journey of mine!

So the reason I had a mental block is because I haven’t had the best week.  And I was undecided whether to bring this into my blogging world or not,  but I suppose the card popping through my letterbox decided it for me!  Basically to cut a long story short, last year I had a lump in my breast that needed investigating further, and the same has happened again this week.  Luckily it was nothing to worry about last time and I am telling myself its nothing this time either, so fingers crossed all will be fine!

The reason why I am blogging about it is because I often talk about the highs being high and the lows being low when you don’t drink, and having to take the rough with the smooth. But at the same time being safe in the knowledge that what you are feeling are true feelings that haven’t been heightened or numbed with alcohol.  This week is a perfect example of this.

Because I have been here before I don’t feel as stressed as last time, and I am trying to think of all the positive outcomes.  The hardest thing for me is the waiting to find out what it is, my appointment isn’t until the week after next so it feels like ages off.

In the past this would be the perfect opportunity for me to drown out the waiting with a bottle of chardonnay every night and I would probably be making things much more dramatic than they need to be and feeling absolutely rubbish for the next two weeks.  I would be thinking negatively from the outset and be constantly thinking about the worse case scenario.  Plus the beer fear and hangovers making the whole situation a lot worse than it needed to be! I would then be talking myself into getting as healthy as possible and quitting drinking once I knew the outcome.  So basically I would be in self destruct mode for two weeks,  before I even knew if it was anything to worry about or not!

However the sober me has dealt with it much better.  I’ve stuck to my normal routine of exercise and eating the best I can.  Although twice I’ve given into McDonald’s mocha frappe this week (rehydration purposes in the heatwave!!!) And I am telling myself to stay calm until there is something to worry about.  Yes the waiting isn’t great, but you know what I’ve got to deal with that, and with my eldest leaving primary school in two weeks I certainly have a lot to keep me busy!

So although I haven’t been very ‘badass’ this week and more like a wet lettuce,  feeling emotional every five minutes,  I hope by sharing this its helped someone stop reaching for the wine glass thinking it will help them feel better.  I can’t name one situation or scenario now where drinking would benefit me or make me feel better, and I really mean that.

So whether your stressed with something or just have a lot on your plate and you would normally turn to drinking to ease the stress, just see what happens if you don’t?  And just go through what your going through, maybe you will be surprised at the outcome!

And to anyone who is a sober warrior and going against the majority of drinkers this weekend, then you are definitely BADASS!!

Have a lovely, happy, healthy weekend!

Angie xx

You Don’t Have To Wait For Rock Bottom….

June 30, 2018

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

“Rock bottom has built more heroes than privilege.”

“Hitting rock bottom is an opportunity to rebuild yourself.”

Okay, so any of you who follow me on Instagram will know that I love my quotes!  To me a good quote that you can relate to and connect with, can totally change your attitude and outlook at least for that day.

Now when you look-up sobriety quotes or read recovery books or even just talk to people about sobriety, “Rock Bottom” is mentioned a lot!

  • When did you know you had hit rock bottom?
  • What was your rock bottom?
  • How bad was it?
  • What did you do, how bad was it?

And for some people yes, they may have hit an all time low, a rock bottom, done a horrendous thing to make them realise they have a problem with drinking and this is their wake up call.  The only was is up!

I didn’t hit rock bottom.   Speaking for myself, as a 42 year old mum my life isn’t wild enough for my drinking to take me to rock n roll, rock bottom adventures.  Apart from the odd night out, or party where I would do something to embarrass myself (normally falling over or out of the taxi, or saying something with zero filter!) my drinking habits were just slowly but surely zapping the life out of me, and making me more boring than wild!

I was still a fully functioning person, a mum,  wife, running my own business and just keeping everything running smoothly.  On the outside I looked normal (well as normal as I can!) but inside I felt like I was getting old before my time, my confidence was low, my energy low, I had little to no patience and I just had no sense of adventure or love for life.

As I have said before, it took me months of trying to quit before I actually succeeded.   It was a slow decision, my mind was constantly torn between moderating, quitting and drinking plans so I didn’t feel rough over the weekend.  Once I did stop drinking I didn’t have to think about it anymore, that feeling is unbelievable and gives you so much more room to think about what you love.  I just so wish I had done it sooner and that is seriously my only regret.  I now feel so much stronger both physically and mentally and feeling like I am living life as my best self and not just a washed out version like I used to be.  We all know the dreaded beer fear that you get after a boozy weekend, where anything and everything makes you anxious or depressed, well that’s now gone.  I feel confident and fresh every morning, including Mondays, I even posted about how much I love them here!Magic Mondays Not Manic Mondays!

One thing that really is annoying is when people just assume that hitting rock bottom is why you stopped drinking! Or assume that you ‘cant drink’  If people just took the time to ask they would realise that I didnt hit rock bottom and I don’t drink because I don’t WANT to drink.  That is my personal choice and the best choice I have ever made for my mental and physical health, myself and my family.

The Recovery Village did a fab article on this:-

“So how do we change before we hit rock bottom? It boils down to an individuals willingness to change and recognise the path their life is taking.  Addiction thrives on a person living in denial of whats really going on.  Rock bottom isn’t for everyone because the worst case scenario does not have to be when someone decides that changing their life is worth it.  It should be a matter of getting honest with ourselves, and making the daily choice to change their life around.

If you are currently struggling, you can change your life around today.  Not a few months from now or a few years down the road but RIGHT NOW.  Rock bottom doesn’t have to be on the cards for you. Regain control of your life by putting an end to what is bringing you down.”

And that is exactly the message that I am trying to send, whatever it is that you are unhappy with, just make that change.  Dont wait for things to get worse or hit rock bottom.  Start today. Stop saying you will start Monday, next month or next year.  Life is seriously too short to be at war with yourself.  Make today the first day of your journey to becoming the best version of you and start living the life you love!

I hope your all having a happy, healthy, sunny Saturday!

Angie

 

 

 

Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

June 22, 2018

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Ok so firstly I’ve just got to say I hate the term ‘Triggers’!!! It sounds so extreme, like the millisecond moment of weakness that sends you on a three-day bender and finds you waking up in a different country, with no recollection of how you got there!!! (I know this may have happened to some people but thankfully I was nowhere near that level of drinking!)

Basically a ‘trigger’ is something that takes you off your track of sobriety (or diet, giving up smoking/drugs anything you’re trying to give up) It can be a certain time a day, an event, a person, a feeling, the weather, anything that gives you that urge and desire to have a drink.

One of the reasons it took me so long to stop drinking was that I would predict the urge to have a drink, and sort of talk myself out of ‘not’ drinking before I had even started. It’s only now that I realise how crazy that was! So for example even if I had a quiet weekend coming up, but the weekend after we would be having a night out with friends I would think ‘well I may as well drink this weekend because there’s no way I could go out next weekend and not drink’! I would already be feeling anxious about going out and being the only one not drinking, I had already given in to the trigger of a night out that was two weeks away!

Yesterday I hit nineteen months of not drinking, and I can honestly say I’ve possibly had less than ten times when something has triggered me into wanting a drink. Instead of calling them triggers I prefer to think of them as the drinks I missed, but didn’t miss it enough to pick up a glass and give in.

The first was in the December after I had stopped in the November, so it was early days.  I had put the Christmas tree up with the girls and we had decorated it together. Now normally, my tradition would be to have a glass of mulled wine once we had finished, and then I would slowly carry on for the rest of the day. That’s the first time I had the urge to drink, my first trigger, but instead we decorated the tree then walked down to the local café for cake and hot chocolate, walking back when it was getting dark and seeing the house all a glow with lights was lovely.  Something I will never forget and something I would definitely not have done after a bottle of mulled wine!!!!

Obviously Christmas and New Years are a big time for drinking but I was already reaping the benefits by then of not drinking and was feeling good so I didn’t want to spoil that. Plus it was a novelty to feel so fresh and full of energy over Christmas and New Years and make the most of the time together as a family.

Birthdays and celebrations are a big trigger for some people, although I haven’t really found this a struggle.  My birthday is in August so I already had ten months of not drinking under my belt by then, so I wasnt going to ruin that.  Birthdays are also a great time to remind your other half how much money you’ve saved by not drinking! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!)

Holidays are a biggie, because it’s a time when you probably drink more than normal, this can be when people given into temptation. We had a beach holiday booked In my first year, luckily it wasn’t all-inclusive so that sort of helped!  The hardest time was the night before we went on holiday because normally that’s when the wine would be flowing, in full on ‘Holiday mode’  I struggled because I was so excited and just wanted the night to pass quickly so we could set off (bit like being a child really!) but I just kept myself busy and the feeling went away. I’ve done a past blog on sober holidays which you can read here, Happy, Healthy Holidays! so I won’t go into too much detail but I got through the holiday with no problems.  This year we did go all-inclusive and I didn’t have one thought to have an alcoholic drink.  Something, that nineteen months ago I would have thought impossible!

Surprisingly camping holidays hit me harder than a beach holiday!! Once the tent is up and we are unpacked I would religiously sit down with a beer.  The first time I  went camping that really made me want to crack, but a Becks Blue sort of quenched my thirst and then I got more involved playing with the kids and it passed, any campers will know there’s always something that needs doing!

I have found that two of my main triggers are boredom and people! I have to be with people who I can laugh with, have good chats with, people who I can be myself with. And I do not enjoy being bored or lazy, sat talking rubbish, or watching garbage on the tv whilst I down a bottle of wine! As a result I’ve got true friends who get me and I get them and I love being in their company.  And I’ve now got a really active lifestyle, taking on more challenges and filling my life with more than I’ve ever done.

I have realised that a lot of the times I wanted to drink were linked to traditions and habit, what I would ‘usually’ do. But think of the saying ‘if you keep on doing what you’ve always done you will keep on getting what you’ve always got!’ This is so true. Yes it was hard to deal with those triggers, it was difficult to do something differently. But it’s only the first time or the first few times that its hard, it then becomes the norm. The new, sober you becomes the normal you, and you will do all of those things sober and believe me you will enjoy them so much more. It feels like a whole new world, you’re experiencing things in a different light and the best part is…….. you get to remember it all!

So if you’ve struggled with a certain trigger whatever that may be, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just put it down to experience and move on, knowing that next time you won’t let it defeat you. I think feeling anxious is normal, but just literally talk yourself through it a minute at a time. Just breathe and tell yourself you can do it, and you know what, YOU CAN!

What have been your triggers? How do you deal with them? Any tips or advice for others?

Hope it’s a happy, healthy weekend for you!!

Angie xx

See What Happens If you Don’t Give Up….

June 16, 2018

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Are you sick of starting over?  Sick of yet another Day One? Yet another attempt to start a diet, eat healthy or kick the booze!

Before I stopped drinking for good I had a LOT of day ones!  I had been trying to stop drinking for around twelve to eighteen months before I actually quit.  I attempted Dry January and even tried to give up alcohol for lent once (it nearly killed me!).  But once I failed at it,  I would just convince myself I couldn’t do it and would feel so mad and disappointed with myself that I couldn’t succeed at what I was trying to do.  When I look back at it now, those unsuccessful attempts where my practice runs, which all lead to one day it just clicking in place and giving up for good.  So if you’re experiencing the same thing and you really do want to stop drinking because you’ve  gone a certain period of time and know how good it feels, then don’t give up, eventually you will have your last day one and stick with it for good.

Now I’ve got the stopping drinking part ticked off, but I feel like I have hit a plateau fitness wise!  i am struggling! Today is day 60 of my 100 day challenge and setting the challenge has definitely helped me be consistent with exercising everyday but I do feel like it has made me be more relaxed with my diet.  I’ve been thinking “well I have been exercising every day so why not eat cake!”  which is obviously counteracting my exercise efforts and I feel like I have hit a plateau.

So even though some days I have thought, what’s the point?  I know that giving up is not an option!  I have been looking at what I can do to mix things up a bit and get back on track.

Because I do a lot of my workouts at home, I looked into online programmes such as Kayla Istines and Beachbody but after looking into it I thought I would be paying for something that I have done and can do myself! I can get myself to that next level of fitness, I don’t need to pay a monthly subscription for someone to tell me what I already know!  After reading up on it I have found a book that’s come highly recommended and will hopefully give me lots of tips and information on taking my fitness to the next level and its ‘Thinner, Leaner, Stronger’ by Michael Matthews.  Full of training tips, diet information and what supplements to take, that will hopefully give me a fresh focus and get me out of this plateau.

One of my main aims is to get a six-pack (or I would be happy with 2-4 pack to be honest!)  After two children my core is definitely my weak area and this is what I want to focus on.  The old me would have given up, thinking what’s the point of trying to get into shape at 42?  But that’s the old voice that didn’t believe in me! Stopping drinking has definitely given me a new-found confidence,  and a belief that I can do this, its made me believe in myself!

If your following me on Instagram I will hopefully post some updates and before and after pics to see if my new plan is working, and of course I will share any tips and advice on here too!

Have any of you read this book? Or do you have any tips for when your fitness level hits a plateau?  Also how many day ones did you have before it finally became your last and you’ve kicked the booze for good? Lets help each other on this journey and see what happens when we don’t give up!

Hope you have a healthy and happy weekend!

Angie xx

 

Magic Mondays Not Manic Mondays!

June 11, 2018

Correct me if I’m wrong but Mondays very rarely get credit for being “good” days! I mean there has even been songs about how rubbish they are!

Mondays for me are one of the days I appreciate the most since I have stopped drinking, now they feel like one of the best days of the week. A fresh start, feeling recharged after the weekend and ready to tackle what lies ahead. They are one of the mornings, apart from Saturday and Sunday that I just really appreciate not having a hangover or feeling blah after a weekend of piggin out and drinking.

Rewind eighteen months ago and I used to dread a Monday morning. That feeling of dread would start on a Sunday night, around tea time, and I would be pouring another glass of wine to drown out that dread. I would start feeling anxious and just unable to cope with the things I had to do in the week ahead.

Now I still have the stress of things to do, but the anxiety has gone (90% of the time anyway!) And instead I spend an hour on a Sunday night preparing for the week ahead, planning my work, getting things in my diary and writing lots of lists! (I am definitely a list girl!). So I have still got the same amount of things to do, probably more now because I am generally doing more with my time now that I don’t drink, but my mind is just in a better place. I’ve not got the anxiety or the feeling of not being able to cope, and that is certainly down to me stopping drinking.

Monday morning was also the day I would start a crash diet, or crazy health kick after knowing I had over indulged all weekend. So I would set myself unrealistic goals including a strict exercise plan or start off the week starving myself. I mean you would have thought a woman in her forties would realise how that was gonna workout??? Yep by Wednesday I would be feeling like a failure and eating whatever, already thinking “I will start next Monday!”

Now my Monday’s are pretty much like every other day. I try to fit in whatever exercise I can, if I’ve a quiet ish day it will be a full weights workout like I did this morning, or if I have a lot on with work it will be a quick dog walk or ab workout. I will be careful with my diet and limit any treats if I’ve had a lot over the weekend but in general I will just be eating the same as I do on most days.

So now for me Monday’s feel good, I feel fresh and armed to face the week ahead. And I think what I could have got done all of those Monday’s I spent waiting for the day to finish because I felt so rubbish! They were just totally wasted days.

When I first stopped drinking I can remember looking forward to Monday mornings and wanting to skip up the school drive with the kids. But I didn’t obviously! Imagine how that would annoy someone who was feeling how I used to feel, not good! But inside I was skipping and loving these new Monday mornings that I had discovered. They were actually a huge motivator for me to not drink over the weekend because I loved the feeling of a hangover free Monday morning, and they still never get old.

It’s never too late to start, use today to chase your dreams and get closer to your goals whatever they may be! Wether it’s drinking less or stopping altogether, exercising more, eating healthy and getting in shape. Just start today!!

Have you any tips on how you prepare for the week ahead? Are your Monday’s totally different after quitting the booze? Any advice for others looking to do the same?

And I apologise in advance if you spend the rest of the day singing “just another manic Monday” because it’s been in my head all morning too!!

Hope you all have a happy, healthy Monday

Angie xx

Get Back To Being YOU!

June 4, 2018

 

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This morning I waved my eldest daughter off on her first ever residential school trip.  Her whole class is off the Lake District for five days of canoeing, caving, high ropes, barrel rafting and jetty jumping.  It sounds amazing!! Did I feel emotional when I kissed her goodbye at the coach this morning? yes, but I surprisingly didn’t even cry.  Her excitement for the week ahead was just so contagious I felt more excited than emotional! The whole class was just a bundle of bubbling excitement as they lined up to get on the coach, and I am so excited for her, yes of course I will miss her but she will be  having the time of her life!

I have mentioned in previous posts that since I have stopped drinking I feel as though I am on the same level as my children when it comes to being excited about events and occasions, it’s almost as though I have gone back to being a child again! (hence the picture!)

Jason Vale has a fab section about this in his book ‘Kick The Drink’ , he states:-

“When you stop drinking, you actually return to normal.  We never needed alcohol before we started drinking: the need arose afterwards.  I remember going to parties as a child and I didn’t need alcohol to enjoy myself.  I never feared Christmas or birthdays would be a disaster without alcohol…………. I never thought I would become so lethargic and tired that my main source of pleasure would come from a bottle……. When I was a child I never thought I would end up like the adults I saw.”

When I read his book, this really struck a chord with me, when did we start needing alcohol to have fun?

In the picture above the 7-year-old me is ready for a party, we only took pictures on special occasions like parties or holidays!  Can you remember just being totally excited for what lies ahead, seeing your friends, the games, the food, the party bag, you didn’t need to have a drink to enjoy a party!  Fast forward to my twenties and I wouldn’t have gone to a party if I wasnt drinking, gosh it would have been my idea of total hell, what socialize sober???

Jason Vale believes that alcohol creates the fears that that makes us drink in the first place.  So if you have low confidence, you drink to make you more chatty and relaxed, but it’s not you it’s the alcohol and if anything the next day you feel more withdrawn and anxious than ever.  But once you get into the habit of drinking, you feel as though you need it to have fun and enjoy yourself! I know for a fact that I drank more when I was unhappy with my body and poor fitness level. Drinking made me forget that I wasn’t feeling confident in how I looked, which is crazy because the calories from the drink and food binges that followed the day after, were doing nothing to help my body confidence and in fact making it worse.  It has taken me a long time to break away from this vicious cycle.

When you remove the alcohol you find yourself doing things that you really want to do, just like children do. What do you really enjoy doing? what makes you smile? As a child I was never still, I was always out on my bike, in the garden or on a friends farm and when I stopped drinking I wanted to go on this health kick and try to get in my best possible shape, have more energy so I could be an active mum and have an active life, like I used to have. I feel like I have found my lust for life again.  My next move is a career change and I am hopefully looking  at moving into the fitness industry, its very early stages yet but watch this space!

If you’re looking at stopping drinking or cutting down, firstly think what is making you pick up the glass in the first place?  If it’s to make you feel more confident, then work out why you lack confidence and work on that without the booze because it makes things worse in the long run.  Do you drink to de-stress? What’s making you stressed? Try treating yourself to a massage, reading a book, having a long soak in the bath with your favourite music.  Do you drink to just have fun? then seriously question what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with!! And when it comes to special occasions or holidays, these are fab, happy times anyway, do you really need to drink to enjoy them? If you haven’t tried these events sober, you will never know.  Dig deep and ask yourself, “Why do I need to drink?” “What made me start drinking?”

If you haven’t already read Jason Vales’s book I highly recommend it, it was definitely a game changer for me*, and it makes you see why you actually drink, in a totally different light! (*Along with Clare Pooleys Sober Diaries)

Now the house is very quiet, whilst my eldest is off spreading her wings and loving and living life, truly enjoying the moment! I’m already counting down the days until she returns and to hear about all of the things she got up to!! ( previously I would have used her being away as an excuse to have a drink every night this week, to take my mind off it! But not now, I am going to get through a list of jobs I have been putting off for months  then lose myself in Love Island every night this week!)

Credit to Jason Vale & Kiona LLanos for the quote.

Angie xx

 

Strong Is Definitely My New Skinny!

May 28, 2018

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I just love this caption – “Strong is the new skinny!”

For me this is so true, after spending a lifetime wanting to be skinny (my role models were Kate Moss & Posh Spice ) and going on crazy diets, I have finally over this last year and a half changed my mindset.  I now want to be healthy and I want to feel strong both inside and out.

There has definitely been a shift in the media and female body images, I mean look at how many strong, healthy, realistic  role models are out there.  There are also a lot of fitness influencers out there too, and to be honest I would rather follow those on instagram than a celebrity anyway!

You only have to look on Instagram or Pinterest and there are so many motivational quotes:  ‘Sore today – strong tomorrow’,  Look like a beauty – lift like a beast’, ‘I’m not just strong for a girl –  Im just strong!’  All promoting strong, healthy women.  I love this and I hope this continues so that my girls grow up with this positive body image around them.  Its something that is realistic and achievable.

I posted recently about milestones and celebrating them in anyway you like, you can read it here at All Milestones Matter, Big Or Small………… So for my eighteen month sober milestone I treated myself to some new gym wear.  I have recently become an ambassador  for Just Strong Clothing, and I have to say I love their range and what their brand stands for.  They have created fabulous workout wear, and have numerous embassadors who are strong women, portraying a healthy lifestyle and image. You can follow them on Facebook and Instagram and they have an amazing community of women who are all just trying to be the best version of themselves, regadless of their shape or size they are just focusing on being strong both physically and mentally.  Imagine if all women focused on feeling strong, just think what we could achieve!

I have included the link below to visit their website and if you use my code ANGIEFAIR10 you will get 10% discount too!

So if you’re coming up to a special milestone, or just need an incentive to get back into working out or even just need a little retail therapy (like we need an excuse!), then have a look and treat yourself –  you deserve it!!

just strong clothing

Angie xx