Tag: change

Sober Lockdown Lowdown…………

June 13, 2020

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How is lockdown life treating you?

Can you believe we are now entering our 13th week of lockdown – I know rules have been relaxed ‘slightly’ but we are still living in a totally different world than the beginning of the year!

I am not going to lie – some times have been so hard!  And the reason for me not blogging as often as I wanted too was because I have put off thinking about anything in any depth!  My life has been in a little bubble of juggling  the girls at home, being mega busy with Tropic, redecorating the house (well my husband has but its still something extra to deal with!) and just trying to maintain my exercise regime and control my chocolate intake.  I am sure this list is just like the list from so many other people – we are all in this together, each with our own set of problems that lockdown brings.

I mentioned in a past post A letter to my readers…………. that one of my main stresses and triggers is not knowing what is happening and plans being changed.  2020 was going to be such an amazing year – I had so much planned.  I had done a mood board in December last year, full of all my hopes, goals and  dreams for the year ahead.  It was the first time I had ever done a mood board and I felt pretty proud of it,  its got pride of place in my office just next to my desk where I can look at it all the time and remind myself of what I want to achieve this year.

Well as the lockdown days turned into weeks, I can not tell you how much I have wanted to throw this mood board out of the window!  It has caused me so much stress, showing me all of my plans and dreams that have had to be cancelled for this year.

Like so many people I have spoken to lockdown has created a roller-coaster of emotions, and I have been exactly the same.  Some days feeling so positive that I have done so much, and other days not even getting out of my pj’s and being amazed that I’ve manged to just feed the kids.  Apart from my girls being my reason for everything, the other two things that have got me through those days have been my job – everything about Tropic is positive plus some sort of exercise, even just walking the dog.  But paramount in all of this is that even at my lowest point I didn’t pick up a drink!  Believe me some days I would have happily escaped how I felt with a bottle or two of Pinot.

It was around the 21st May – my sober milestone of  three and a half years sober, that my mindset began to change.   I took a step back and started to look at the positives, the main one being I had got through all of this SOBER.  The positivity I got from my Insta page was just unbelievable, plus I am in a Facebook group called The Alcohol Experiment – I think I got over 600 likes and a hundred  of comments –  It was seriously a gamechanger for me.  My mindset changed over night – I had a really good chat with myself, I needed to get a grip, I was inspiring other people.  People were looking at me and watching – I needed to be strong for them.  You guys – my followers, ,my sober warriors, I needed to be strong for you !

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I now accept that things are far from ideal, and we are a long way from ‘normal’ life and seeing our loved ones with no restrictions.  Yes we have had to cancel or postpone a lot of things we had planned but these things will happen and we will cherish them even more.

So when I look at my mood board now, I am slowly starting to love it again.  Mood boards ideally should cover 5 areas of your life, Career, Home, Relationship, Travel and Wellbeing/growth.  They help you find your direction and set your goals.  The idea is that you look at your board regularly and those things should manifest in your life – it’s the perfect example of the power of positivity.

And now that I can bring myself to look at my board again without wanting to smash it into a million pieces I can see that I HAVE achieved some of the things on there without even thinking about it.

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Career – I wanted to grow my little business and become a Manager – I have now got a team of 11, my business has doubled in size and I have definitely smashed working from home! my mood board has a photo of Alan Sugar and Susie Ma, who I was meant to meet in March as I was promoted to manager but will no doubt now meet next year.

 

Home –  I wanted to make my home more cosy, redecorate, and just focus on enjoying time at home and making it a safe place, somewhere that my girls want to be as they grow up.  Well that has certainly come true in lockdown – My picture on my board was fairy lights and people snuggled by the fire with hot chocolate whoch has been a very regular lockdown scene!

Relationship – My plan was to make more time for US, more date nights and time on our own.  That hasn’t happened at all, more like the opposite but we HAVE supported each other through this and the different challenges we have faced. My husband is my rock which I have always known, but this past few months have really highlighted and reminded me, we are a real team, best friends.  Plus he’s amazing at decorating -ha!

Travel – We have had holidays rebooked, cancelled, rebooked! And I really miss holidays.  But we do have a huge list of what we want to do and where we want to go when all of this is over, and I feel like holidays will feel extra special.

Wellbeing/Growth – The sober me LOVES challenges and pushing myself out of my comfort zone ( read my past post You Didnt Come This Far To Only Come This Far!)and I had planned a sky dive at 45 for my 45th Birthday (still time to do that!) My picture showed two skydivers with the quote “Take Every Risk Drop Every Fear”

Being a Bodypump Instructor and as you know I love my weights, I also had a picture that said “Lifting weights doesn’t make people huge, cup cakes make people huge!” And after a couple of months of more chocolate and cake and less weights – yes that’s true!

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So guys all is not lost, giving up is not an option.  2020 can still be a good year.

If this is you right now and you are struggling, please just take a step back and see how far you have come.  You owe it to yourself not to give up.  And if you are In the early days of sobriety you are a sober Rockstar and I salute you – remember we didn’t come this far to only come this far.  Lockdown has taken so much away from us – don’t let it take your positivity, pride and sobriety.

If you have never made a mood board – try it!  Such a positive thing to do and it gives you something to focus on if nothing else.  Think of what you want to fit into this next six months of 2020!

How have you survived lockdown, any tips or advice – please let me know in comments

Find me on Instagram @soberglowgetter for all things sober!

Love Angie xx

 

 

 

 

SOBER SELF CARE

April 6, 2020

 

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Hey guys how are things going?

This lockdown is certainly messing with my head, from being pretty upbeat and positive 99% of the time I’m feeling pretty up and down at the minute.  But I’m guessing its normal and totally to be expected with everything that’s going on.

A huge hands in the air for the soberistas who are in the early days, what a testing time and you are smashing it!  I got an amazing comment on my last post from Sarah who was on day 25 – wow that is something huge in the current climate.  At over 40 months sober I am serious when I say I would struggle if I was starting now – so a massive well done guys – if we can get through this sober I’m thinking we can get through anything!

The hardest part for me is that my routine is upside down, my days normally fly by and at the moment they are dragging.  I am physically not as active, so yes I am working out everyday and walking the dog every day but for the rest of the day I am sat down a lot, either with the kids, watching tv or sat in the garden – When normally I am flying around everywhere.  And possibly the hardest part for me is not knowing when this will all return to normal, we haven’t got a time scale – I’m a planner I NEED to know what’s happening and when.  But you know what I’ve got to accept it is what it is and my priorities right now are keeping myself, my family, and my parents healthy and safe and that’s all I can do right now.

All of these feelings are feelings I would normally escape from by drinking.  We have all been there when its all too much and you just need to escape your own mind.  And that is the hardest part, sitting with these feelings. But just think how strong we will be when we come out of the other side – sober super heroes!

You have to find other ways to escape, other way to relax and destress and just give yourself time out.  This is when you realise how important Sober Self Care is – you have to learn new ways to let yourself escape reality and just look after yourself and recharge.

I used to think going to the corner shop for a bottle of wine or two was self care?  So believe me this is something that I have had to learn to do, but I can not begin to tell you how important self care is for you and your sobriety.  Here are some ways that I switch off and try to look after myself physically and mentally. I am still trying out new ways and ideas so feel free to comment and let me know what self care means for you guys too :-

  • This … Blogging!  Today my head was just all over the place, I have felt teary and pretty emotional but just stting down to focus on this and the contact with my readers and a feeling of giving back has just made me feel better.  Maybe start a journal, a video diary, an Instagram page or even set up a little blog yourself.
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  • Exercise – no surprise I know!!  Exercise has been my number one coping mechanism since I stopped drinking over three years ago.  I love anything with weights and occasionally running.  But you can do anything, yoga, workout dvd, power walking with the dog.  Just something to give your endorphins a boost and give you that much needed time out.  The best time to exercise I  feel is first thing in the morning before your brain knows what your body is doing, plus what a better way to make the most of those glorious hangover free mornings!
  • Pamper time – a hot bath, doing your nails, trying out new makeup, do a gradual tan or a relaxing face mask.  Since I started with Tropic I have got to admit this is now a close second to exercise for me as it feels a little like product research!  The old me would NEVER relax this way, I would occasionally go for a spray tan  before a night out but as we all know there is nothing relaxing about that!  If you would like some pampering inspiration visit  My online shop or message me and I will happily help
  • Reading – I have read some amazing books since I quit the booze and although I don’t seem to have much time to read anymore but I always make sure I have a good book for long weekends or holidays.  My go to books are inspirational books and memoirs so Noah Galloway, Jillian Michaels, Clare Pooley and Catherine Grey are just a few.
  • Netflix & Chill – I cant even begin to tell you how many films the drinking me would watch and not remember the ending, or not really focusing on the film because my glass constantly needed refilling.  I love now just getting fully immersed in a dvd or a film at the cinema and you can just totally lose yourself for a couple of hours – total heaven.
  • Early nights – never underestimate the power of an early night with a hot chocolate, especially in those early days of sobriety.  I would feel so tired and as it was winter time, I couldn’t wait to snuggle up in bed all cosy with a hot choc!  If you need to sleep – sleep!
  • Retail therapy – who doesn’t like to online shop!  Sometimes I will just spend an hour filling and emptying my basekt – dream online shopping! And if you add up how much you have saved by not drinking, you can certainly afford to treat yourself.
  • Chatting with friends, a call with an upbeat, like minded friend can totally lift your spirits or even an online catch up with your sober online support friends.

There are soooo many ways you can take time out to look after YOU which are also fab ways to distract yourself if the wine witch is calling!  And the extra bonus is that none of them give you a hangover from hell in the morning.

Let me know how you guys practice self care, any tips or ideas would be appreciated.  I know a lot of people find cooking relaxing but its the total opposite for me – lets just say I have never had the urge to channel my inner Nigella!!

Now more than ever is a time we should be making self care a priority.  It isn’t selfish its a fundamental part of our sobriety and an important part of both our physical and mental health – you have every right to just give yourself time to ………

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Take care, stay safe and stay at home – we have got this

Find me on Instagram for daily posts and sober inspo   @soberglowgetter

 Love Angie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want A New life? Get Sober!

February 9, 2019

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Earlier this week I saw this quote on internet and it just hit me – boom!

I have had this huge guilt recently that I haven’t been blogging as much as I planned but at the moment my (new) life is just getting in the way.  And I have to keep telling myself that it’s a good thing, not a bad thing.  Life is moving at a zillion miles an hour and I just need to embrace it!

I mean – what was my other option.  My life certainly couldn’t carry on the way it was, I couldn’t carry on the way I was.  Kidding myself that I was ok, that my drinking was ok.

It is so easy to get stuck in a drinking rut, so easy to tell yourself that everything is ok, that it’s normal to feel drained, its normal to want to drink to escape who you are and what you are feeling, its ok to spending most of your weekend either drinking or thinking about drinking.

It’s not NORMAL. Its not OK.  And there is only YOU who can do something about it.

Earlier this week I posted this on my Instagram page and a couple of Facebook groups that I follow.

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I was absolutely amazed at the response!  My message was a bit more ‘tough love’ than It would normally be, but you know what a lot of people seemed to react to that in a positive way.  On the Facebook groups especially I received so many positive comments.

You really DO need to stop listening to your own bullshit and kidding yourself that your life as it now is OK.

One of the things that sobriety has shown me is that by taking alcohol away you are allowing yourself to be who you really are.  You start to discover the real you, what you REALLY enjoy doing, the people who you really want to spend your time with.  Its like unravelling the layers to discover the new you – this new life that you are slowly creating around you.  When you are drinking, your focus is on drinking – take that away and your life becomes about so much more.

Last night I realised how far I have come in my journey.  And although I have been so stressed this last couple of weeks with course work and signing up to be a tropics ambassador,  I felt like last night was my reward.  I stood in front of a group of friends and family and hosted my launch party.  I felt confident, I was in my element, I was talking about something I love and it was a huge success!  I loved it and I can’t wait to do another one.

Now rewind to the old me – at this type of party (which I had a few, it fit in with young kids, it got people together and most importantly, I could drink what I wanted in my own house) I would be taking every opportunity ti knock back the wine, constantly getting up for a top up and having another glass in the kitchen as my ‘kitchen’ drink just in case I left my glass in the other room (please tell me someone else out there has done that!!??) And I have sometimes even woken up with no idea what I have ordered??    I would NEVER have even contemplated being someone who ran these parties!  What?  a Friday night, having to drive somewhere, having to watch other people drink, and having the confidence to stand up there, with no wine and sell something nooooooo that would NEVER happen!  My wine was far to important to me, it was my ‘reward’ for a ‘tough’ week with the kids.  It was the escape that I needed,  and NOTHING would get me off the settee and away from my wine.  How ironic that it was the wine and the settee that I needed to escape from!!

Fast forward to last night and I stood up there after a large glass of Zero Point Zero fizz from Aldi and held my own party! And after lots of positive texts from my guests I’m pretty sure I smashed it!  The person I feel like now to the person I felt like then is just two totally different people.  I really do feel like my sober life is a new life and a new me.  I am slowly becoming the person who I am meant to be and doing the things I love.  I am waking up everyday feeling excited (stressed, hectic and anxious at times – yes!) but feeling as though my new life is slowly coming together and the hard work of the early days of sobriety, and the numerous day ones are paying off.

Change doesn’t happen over night.  I have seen a lot of people towards the end of Dry January saying things aren’t changing such as weight loss, energy levels etc.  But they won’t, the changes are slow, gradual but they will happen .  Not picking up the glass id the first change you need to make – the rest will follow.  You are becoming the real you, taking away the smoke screen of alcohol that tells you everything is OK.  ITS NOT OK.  And if you are reading my blog you probably already know that it’s not ok.

It doesn’t matter if your on day one or day 1000 of your sober journey.  What matters is that you stop kidding yourself and start pushing forward on your journey to discover the real you and live the life that makes you want to jump out of bed every morning (well let’s be realistic – most mornings!)

If your just starting out on your sober journey, oleo look back at some of my first posts that help with the early days Just start……….

Hope its a happy hangover free weekend for you guys and that your spending it doing something that you love.

Please find me on Instagram for daily sober inspo @liftingweightsnotwine

ANGIE xx

A sober shout out to Linda,Trish, Michelle and ….. My mum who are all on their little sober journeys and becoming sober,strong women (its only taken me 43 years to be a good influence!xxx)

 

You Didnt Come This Far To Only Come This Far!

January 25, 2019

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First of all sorry for the delay in this weeks post – gosh what a week it’s been!  To cut a long story short, my week has been taken up with two very poorly children and now a sick dog thrown into the mix too.  Seriously, dogs can catch human sick bugs, who knew!  I feel like I have been in some sort of sick zombie time warp, living in a world of Calpol, snot and sick!  Anyway the eldest has gone back into school today so I am actually up, dressed and normality seems to be resuming! (fingers crossed!)

So I actually need this post more than anyone, you guys are helping ME get some positivity flowing again today so THANKYOU!

The title of this post is a quote that I have seen a lot dotted around the soberista social sites and I LOVE IT! And you know what it’s only recently that I have truly ‘got it”, and that I really feel it.

When I first quit drinking, my focus coupled with exercise, was basically just getting through the days, weeks and months without picking up a glass of wine.  It was a year of first times to tick of my sober list – first sober Friday night, first sober weekend, first sober night out, first sober Christmas, first sober holiday, fist sober Birthday – you get the picture!  That was enough to keep me motivated and inspired me to keep going.

Fast forward to the end of the first twelve months and feeling really pleased with myself, I  remember posting my one year success on my personal Facebook page and also the lovely Clare Pooley (sober mummy) mentioning it in one of her blog posts.  Now you can imagine the response from Clares post was a lot more positive than my personal page, although a handful of close friends and family have been behind me all the way which I am SO grateful for (but that’s a whole different blog post for me to discuss at a later date!)  But basically it was Clare and the comments from other members on her blog that inspired me to set up Lifting Weights Not Wine.  So my second sober year has really been spent setting up my blog and Instagram page, but I’ve also had this feeling that I want more.  I want to change what I do on a daily basis.  I have felt restless, unsettled and frustrated – what next?

From being a Mortgage Advisor before children, to setting up my own ironing business to fit around the children when they were babies, my work has never really been something that I loved doing or felt passionate about.  It has just got me from Monday to Friday with the promise of the weekend (normally unless pregnant a boozy weekend!) getting me through the week.  But all of a sudden the sober me wasn’t happy with that, I didn’t want to just get by, waking up every morning and only really looking forward to the workout or run I could squeeze in but feeling bored and tired of my actual job.

It’s then that it CLICKED – I didn’t come this far to only come this far!

So I have slowly been putting changes in place and it feels like this year, so far that its actually happening!  I know I have mentioned my goal to be a Bodypump instructor before, that’s now all booked in to start at the end of March, but I have also now become a Tropics Skincare Ambassador.  Now both of these changes excite me, I have a passion (as you all know ) for exercise especially weights and to be able to actually teach that to people is just AMAZING for me.   The move to Tropics has come from a love of their products, which I have been using for about 8 months now.  Clean, natural skincare and cosmetics that totally fit in with the new me and my sober lifestyle, trying to be as healthy and toxic free as I can possibly be.  Both of these career changes together will eventually replace my current ironing business, which worked for me and served a purpose when the girls were babies.  But now I want to do something that I love and feel passionate about, something to wake up excited about!

Now I know these career changes are small and some people are going to work and making multi million pound business deals or managing hundreds of staff, to them this will probably look like nothing.  But these changes are HUGE to me!  They are EVERYTHING! These changes would have scared the drinking me to death and I would not have had the courage to make the change.  And lets me just point out the majority of my business will be done at pamper party’s on Friday evenings, imagine the thought of the old me leaving my wine and the settee on a Friday night! I thought  I was happy plodding through the week, living for the weekend and then spending most of it drinking and feeling hung over – dreading Monday morning.  Now I have got this new-found confidence to change ,to look for new goals, trying to be the happiest and best version of me that I can be.

So to those of you who are smashing their way through Dry January and starting to think “yes – I am actually feeling good!”  Why stop?  Why start drinking in February? Why not carry on?  Why would you want to go back? Why not see where this sober journey is going to take you? How exciting is that!!

Look if I had given up I would still be exactly where I was, I wouldn’t be making the positive changes that I am making now.  The only initial change i made was that I stopped picking up the wine glass and look how many positive things have happened as a result.  So just ask yourself, do your REALLY want to stop now?

How about any of you guys who have more than a few weeks of not drinking behind you, are there any big changes that you have made or are in the process of making? What are your plans for the sober you?

Quickly getting back to the Tropics Skincare, I’m not sure if you have heard of it but it really is a beautiful skin care and cosmetic range that I have totally fallen in love with – they promote a positive, healthy and clean image that I am all for!  Have a look and see what you think, and if you’ve a sober milestone coming up why not treat yourself!!  Don’t worry I am aware that you guys are looking for sober inspiration and not necessarily skincare advice so if you would like to  be part of a my own Tropics Facebook group where I will share videos, tips and offers then please find me on facebook @tropicswithangie or click on Tropics Skincare to go straight to my Tropics Online Shop.

 

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I hope this post has inspired you to look at the bigger picture of not drinking, because believe me there is a bigger picture and you can make that as vibrant  and colourful as you want it to be!!

Happy sober Friday and let’s have an amazing hangover free weekend sober warriors!

Angie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Have A Sober Christmas To Remember!

November 27, 2018

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Firstly I would like to say a huge THANKYOU to all of you who congratulated me on hitting two years sober last week!! You really made an already special day, extra special and I was certainly feeling the sober love!

I have had quite a few messages and requests for hints and tips on how to stay sober over the Christmas period. So with December almost upon us I thought it wa a good time to get this post out there and it can hopefully help any of you feeling anxious about dealing with the ‘MERRY’ part of Christmas!

Two years ago when I decided to stop drinking, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind.  But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything!  This will be my third sober festive season and I can honestly say they are the best!  You feel like you get so much more out of it, so many more things to do and so many more memories to make.

I have always loved Christmas and especially with having children, but I did used to see Christmas as a drinking free for all.  I mean there are so many reasons to be opening the mulled wine or prosecco at any time of day,  its Christmas –WHY NOT!

So anxiety And stress when you think about a sober Christmas are totally understandable.  I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it!  I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to the finish of the holidays!

Lets be honest, Christmas is a stressful time and with alcohol being offered to you at every opportunity,  it’s a dangerous situation to be in if you’re in the early days of stopping drinking, so its important that you plan ahead.  Think how you can make Christmas easier and less stressful on yourself? Cut yourself some slack this year! Most of these points look at how you can do just that.

So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second of!

 

  • PRIORITISE – Realise that you can’t be everything to everyone.  Prioritise what really is important to you this Christmas.  Just because you have had the neighbours around every year for a booze up doesn’t mean that you have to do it this year?  If certain traditions and events are always focused on drinking you can always suggest something different.  You’re working on a New You, it’s ok to break some traditions and do things differently this year!

 

  • SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list!  Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book  a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused!  One thing that won’t cost you an anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or jut a chat.  And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own!  These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos.  Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT!

 

  • IF IT REQUIRES FAKE SMILING IM NOT GOING! – This is one of my favourite quotes and since I have stopped drinking it is sooooooo true!  Now this is easier said than done at Christmas because there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see!  Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave.  To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway!  Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets! Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel.  Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time.  Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is  important to YOU and that  is where you want to be.  REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!

 

  • PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES –  Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just incase there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand!  This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward)  ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!!  After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee!  Who knew that these people existed ha ha!!  Try it next time and you will be surprised.  And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you drove, it’s a  win win situation !

 

  • PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol.  Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward.  The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling crap!!  One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on!  But nope that wasn’t  happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink??  So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself!  I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS ands next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

 

  • BE REALISTIC! – Don’t expect too much and set yourself up for an emotional melt down!  Just because you are in the process of changing doesn’t mean that everyone else is.  People will still get drunk, kids will argue and get over tired, the dog will try to eat the tree , or turkey or both!! (It’s our first year with the pup and this could happen- hes a labrador afterall!)  Accept that things aren’t perfect, perfect is boring, tell yourself you are perfectly imperfect and you can deal with anything this Christmas throws at you because you are  CHOOSING to spend it STRONG AND SOBER!

 

  • KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!!   This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids!  If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with!  Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side!  My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year.  Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs.  You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it!  It was different, it was FUN!

 

  • MAKE THE MOST OF IT –  If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it!  This is a time when drinking used to be the main activity, once you take that away the options are endless.  Focus on the New Year and starting 2019 feeling fresh and recharged, with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!

 

 

There are a lot of ideas and suggestions here and I know they won’t all work for everyone, but these are what worked for me!.  I’m coming up to my third sober Christmas and honestly, alcohol or the absence of it doesn’t really cross my mind now.  I know I can have a fantastic Christmas if not the best Christmas without drinking.  If like me you have young children who are growing up soooo fast, just treasure the sober memories that you make with them this year.  My youngest is nine and I know that this will be her last year of believing, I am just so grateful that I get to remember all of it with no alcohol involved – I get to feel the natural, pure excitement that she feels and you seriously can not beat that!

Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year, you will not regret it!

I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your ideas.

And if your off on your holidays over Christmas my next blog will cover sober holiday tips too!

Happy Christmas Chaos Guys, LETS DO THIS!

Angie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Change Involves A Challenge!

November 7, 2018

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When I started my blog I had no intention of setting up the Lifting Weights Not wine exercise challenges, they just sort of happened!  Initially they helped give me content for my Instagram page @liftingweightsnotwine and now I’ve ended up having a few messages asking to start another one!  So on Monday 12th November I will start a new 40 day challenge that will run up to the 21st December, which is perfect timing for Christmas.

I don’t know about you guys but I am certainly someone who likes to journal or chart any sort of progress I am making.

For years I was obsessed with writing down my weight and aiming for a certain (normally unrealistic) goal in a specific time frame (unhealthy obsession I know!)

Then when I became aware that my drinking was getting worse and I wanted to cut down/stop, I downloaded the Drinkaware App.  Now this App is brilliant BUT you have to be honest with what you put into it, and that was my problem! You would find me fiddling my units on a sunday night in an attempt to make my weekend alcohol intake look better!

Then once I had stopped drinking, I (like every other soberista out there) started tracking my days and weeks of sobriety.  This stopped when I got to one year and now I track it monthly along with the exercise challenges to keep me motivated!

OK, so I know it looks like I’m a bit of a crazy woman writing down and tracking all of these things but it all refers back to one thing………………………….

MOVING FORWARD AND WANTING TO CHANGE!!

Here’s the thing, if you want to make your life better, you’re going to have to challenge yourself!

It’s so easy to stay the same, especially when it comes to our lifestyles.  We are in our own comfort zone and although we may be unhappy with how we look and feel,  that feeling is “easier” than taking on the challenge to change.  How we are is the norm, it’s what we are used to and it’s how our friends and family are used to seeing us.  Its comfy. Its normal. Its easy!

Personally I feel that we live in a society where drinking is considered normal.  I know I have had a lot of raised eyebrows when ive told people I don’t drink anymore, which is crazy when you think if I told people I don’t do crack cocaine anymore they would give me a pat on the back and think I was amazing! (Anyway I could blog about that all night long but I will save it for another post!)   We are so embedded into the drinking culture that surrounds us that its hard to escape,  its hard to make the change as we get pressure from around us to remain the same and stick with the “norm”!

Some changes are inevitable and we just have to accept them, like growing old, ill-health, financial situations, relationships etc some changes  WILL occur and there is nothing you can do but accept them and adapt.

The real challenge is when you decide to make a change yourself .

Stopping drinking was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, it was a huge challenge, it wasn’t easy but I just knew that I couldn’t stay the same.  I had to move from the place I was in, I was unhappy and unhealthy and I didn’t want to continue feeling the way that I did.  But by doing it I have proved to myself that I am capable of so many other things, I can push myself outside of my comfort zone and achieve so many other things with my life.  So now it’s opened up the door to lots of other challenges for me such as; focusing on a new career, pushing myself physically, wanting to learn and do new things and having an outlook that life really is one big adventure!

You have got to keep challenging yourself to change, yes its hard, yes you feel stressed and  uncomfortable at the thought of it but at the end of the day its the only way you will get there.  And in no time at all the ‘old you’ will be what makes you feel uncomfortable and the new you and how you live your life will become the norm for yourself and everyone around you.

So start right now – set the challenge – write it down – and make the change! And if you need some accountability or support then join me on Monday for my 40 day exercise challenge, tie it in with no alcohol and you will be feeling AMAZING by Christmas! And who knows you may want to spend this christmas sober! (Sober Christmas blog post coming soon)

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Any advice, tips or questions then please comment below or just to let me know how things are going for you on your sober journey?

Angie xx

 

 

 

Own Your Story And Write A New Chapter……

October 12, 2018

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This week I have had my first ever interview with the lovely Gayle from the sober website and Instagram page SOBER BLISS!  Gayle offers a professional and personal service for people looking to stop drinking and discover the world of Sober Bliss!  You can find her at www.Sober-Bliss.com

So Gayle contacted me to see if I would share my sober story so far, for her to share on her you tube channel and website.  I am not going to lie, at first I was really nervous and hesitant as I still haven’t shared my Lifting Weights Not Wine Blog to ALL of my friends and family.   But I thought hey why not, I need to practice what I preach and step outside of my comfort zone with this!

So we set a time, and I was surprised at how easy it went.  It really was like just chatting with a friend over a coffee! If you would like to watch the full interview please follow the link below (and you may need to make a cup of tea, its a full 30 minutes, believe me I can talk!)  I feel like I have shared a little more of my story and revealed a little more of myself and the reasons why I have stopped drinking.   Listening back to it I did feel emotional, some parts are hard to hear and they take me back to not a very good place, but I wanted it come from the heart and it did.

I am so glad that I did it because I believe it is so important to share the positive message of sobriety.  There is a stigma attached to sobriety that it’s boring, dull, grey and that your life is over if you stop drinking alcohol!  Believe me this is certainly NOT the case!  I know that stopping drinking has given me a new lease of life, a lust for life a yearning to constantly try new things and push myself outside of my comfort zone.  I am doing things that I had only dreamt of doing before with a new found confidence.  I believe in myself!   That doesn’t sound very grey and boring to me, especially when you compare it to sitting on the settee with a bottle of wine most weekends or nursing a hangover!

If my story can inspire just one person to change their drinking habits and start on a journey to be the best version of themselves, without the booze, then I will feel proud to have shared it.

We all have a story, and if we are unhappy with how it is turning out it’s important to realise that you have the power inside of you to change it.

“When we deny the story, it defines us.  When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.”

(BRENE BROWN)

 

So I have made this a short post as I would love you to head over to You Tube by clicking on the link When Sober Bliss Meets Lifting Weights Not Wine

Please let me know what you think and if you like it then please share away, the more positive sober success stories out there the better!

Have a lovely weekend and enjoy those heavenly hangover free mornings!

Angie xx

Focus On Your Weights At The Gym Going Up, Not Your Weight Going Down.

October 5, 2018

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Ok so where do I begin…….. let me try to cut a long story short (well as short as possible!)

So from the age of about fourteen I have weighed myself approximately three times every week (minimum), more often than not on a daily basis.  My weight in that time has fluctuated from 9 stone to 12-13stone,  this isn’t including my weight when I was  pregnant with my girls. I sort of went off the scales then (literally!) but I was busy growing my babies, so nothing else mattered!  I am sure I am not alone in saying that I have had a very unhealthy relationship with weighing scales, they can determine my  whole mood, diet, energy and plans for the day ahead in a heartbeat – yes they really have that power over me or should I say they  HAD that power over me!

When I gave up alcohol, I knew that I could potentially turn to food and that could be my new addiction,  food could fill the gap alcohol had left behind.  This is why I had to consciously focus on exercise and trying to get in my best possible shape, so that if I was indulging in treat foods at least I was burning some of them off too.  In a previous post I explain how exercise is possibly my new addiction but at least its a healthy one. Exercise – A Healthy Addiction!

It’s only recently that I have had to try to get out of the really bad habit of weighing myself regularly, and I have got to be honest I have  struggled.  My main issue has been my weight gain from lifting heavier weights, and even though my clothes size has gone down I just feel frustrated because the number on the scale has gone up.   It’s crazy I know but I am sure that I’m not the only one who feels like this?

So the said scales are currently locked away in the shed and I am trying to stay body positive, which some days is harder than others.  I am just trying to focus on how I feel – I am lifting heavier weights than I have ever done, I have more energy, I am eating good, healthy, regular meals and snacks with not so healthy treats occasionally too.  A healthy,  balanced, realisitc diet.  A tiny little square that I step on every morning cannot measure how I feel, and although it’s work in progress I definitely feel like I am getting there.

Earlier this week I was chatting with a friend at the gym and she was telling me that she doesn’t weigh herself and instead uses a pair of jeans as a guide!  It felt like a light bulb moment for me, and I promised myself to do exactly the same.  It feels so liberating and scary!  It’s crazy how I could put own the wine glass pretty easily yet struggle with my battle with the scales.  I suppose somethings are easier to give up than others.

An article from The Insider (March 2018) gives 5 reasons why you should stop weighing yourself NOW!

  • It can distract from body cues – the number becomes so important that you ignore important body signals such as exhaustion and stress.
  • It can create mental obstacles – for example it can determine your mood and diet for the rest of the day even effecting your social life in some cases.
  • It can go hand in hand with or encourage eating disorders as the number on the scale becomes priority over everything else.
  • Standard scales don’t indicate your body composition, so they can’t tell you the distribution of fat and lean mass on your body.  This is why someone with a lot of muscle can look slimmer than someone with a higher fat composition, even if they both weigh the same amount.  If you only focus on the number, you could be stopping yourself from building muscle that will ultimately make you appear leaner.
  • And finally, the number on the scale is a poor indicator of your overall health!

So now my focus is watching the weights I’m lifting going up instead of obsessing about the number on the scale going down.  Who’s with me??  After all how can we measure our awesomeness on a set of scales!  I am stronger now than I have ever been and although my scales have been saying I am around 10lbs up from what I was at the beginning of the year, I am also fitting into a size 8 pair of jeans (that has NEVER happened) – I just need to get my head around it, and I am……..  slowly…..its work in progress!

I apologise that this post isn’t really about quitting the booze.  However it is something I have wanted to discuss, and I feel I have taken ownership of it now that I have shared it with you all.  And if its helps someone else in the process then that’s even better!

To anyone who is Going Sober for October, you are nearly a week into it and that’s amazing!  Make sure you have lots of alcohol free drinks stocked in the fridge (and chocolate!)  and that you spend the weekend nurturing yourself and taking time to chill – you are SMASHING it!

I will finish with a quote I saw recently (unknown):-

Your best weight is whatever weight you reach, when you’re living the healthiest life you actually enjoy living!

Well,  I will raise a Becks Blue to that!

For further tips and sober support please follow me on Instagram  @liftingweightsnotwine

I hope you have a happy, healthy weekend.

Angie xx

It’s not just about stopping drinking….

September 24, 2018

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I apologise to anyone who follows me on Instagram because it’s the second time I have used this pic since Saturday,  yes its me making star jumps whilst out on a run early Saturday morning!  I’ve used it again because this picture sums up how I feel most of the time now I have  stopped drinking – yes there are off days but ninety percent of the time I am in star jump mode!!!!!!!!!!

” I Didn’t Get Sober To Sit On The Couch”

Now this is a quote (unknown) that I have seen so many times on Instagram and social media and I never really understood it until I was around 10-11 months sober, then suddenly it clicked!  For the first twelve months I was just counting down to the big ‘one year of not drinking’ and yes I was exercising regularly and feeling good in myself, which for the first months was the reward I needed, I felt amazing but this quote still didn’t register with me.

It was only around the ten month mark that I started thinking …………what happens after the first twelve months, what next? Do I carry on my journey? Do I try and moderate? Do I drift back into my old habits and just have this 12 months as proof that I can do it?  (Gosh the thought of going back to that makes me feel physically sick , the wheels would fall off big time!)

NO – I wanted to take my journey further, I needed to take the next step that came naturally ………. so my little blog was born followed by my Instagram page, which this weekend got to over one thousand followers, woo hoo I still can’t quite believe it!  Having a blog and Instagram page is something I could never have imagined the old me doing, I didn’t believe in myself enough to do something like that.  It is what other people do but not me. But here I am 22 months sober and it’s happening.  And that’s the key, stopping drinking alcohol has made this possible for me for a number of reasons:-

  • I have confidence in myself that I have never had before.
  • It has given me so much more free time to do the things I love. I am no longer planning my time around wine time and hangovers.  I’ve got 24 hours a day to spend, fully functional, full of energy on whatever I want!
  • I don’t have the niggling negativity that I would get after a boozy weekend, the self-doubt and anxiety I talked about in my last post (read it hereAlcohol & Anxiety, …….
  • I discovered my love of lifting weights and the amazing feeling of being strong both inside and out.
  • I’ve found that there is a whole new world out there in social media, of people sharing their stories and who are on a similar journey to me. All supporting one another. People who build you up not knock you down.

This week I am taking another step forward in my journey, a big step for me…………….. I am hopefully looking at becoming a fitness instructor in January 2019.  So this week I am mixing my exercise up a little and i’ve got a three-day pass for a local gym to try all of their classes and help me make a decision in what I want to teach.  I never thought I would be looking at this as an option, it’s the sort of job that I would look at and feel envious of people doing it. I could never be that fit, healthy, in shape or confident enough to do that. But that was the old me, and although I do keep having a bit of a wobble about it, I just know that I will give it my all and love every part of the process even if it does scare me to death somedays, deep down I know I can do it- it something that I’m excited about!

When you stop drinking or even if you’re trying to cut down its so easy to focus on what you’re giving up, but instead focus on everything you have to gain.  Think of all the things you want to do but haven’t had the confidence or self-worth to do them.  Alcohol feeds all your negative emotions, it enables you to escape your reality. By stopping drinking you create so much space to create a life you love and achieve things that you have only dreamt of in the past.

So now I understand the quote “I didn’t get sober to sit on the couch”  I have spent hours and hours sat on my couch sipping wine, and now I want to make up for that.  You don’t necessarily have to be signing up for mud runs or becoming a fitness instructor, you may want to write a book, learn a language, travel more, make a career move, make a relationship move even or just start your own blog??? The list of possibilities are endless! Write your list down of what you want to achieve and make that your motivation to stop drinking, to start or continue on your sober journey. There’s a whole new world out there for the sober you, stop letting alcohol hold you back!

If your following me on Instagram @lifitingweightsnotwine I will be posting my exercise challenge updates on there daily to keep myself and anyone else motivated and I apologise in advance for any future star jump pics!!!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy week ahead.

 Angie xx

Support Or Sabotage?….

July 19, 2018

How does your partner impact your sobriety? Are they positive and supportive or are they negative and destructive?

I do believe that how someone deals with their partners sobriety says a lot about their own drinking habits and relationship with alcohol. But their support or lack of it can definitely affect your success rate when kicking the booze.

Luckily my other half isn’t a big drinker.  He has always been able to drink in moderation, unlike me who didn’t know when to stop.  Now I’m not saying he hasn’t had blow outs and hangovers from hell but they are very few and far between.  So when I decided to give up he was very supportive, and since then he has been drinking a lot less himself.  It’s clear that I was the main drinker, the one who encouraged him to drink  alcohol more often so that I wasn’t drinking on my own.

So when I decided to stop, it was easy for him to cut down.  So say if we were staying in all weekend, he could easily just not drink, which in the early days was a huge support for me because it just removed alcohol from the situation and out-of-the-way of temptation.

Now if it was the other way round and he had decided to stop drinking and not me, I just know my drinking habits wouldn’t have changed. I would probably have ended up drinking more because I would be annoyed that he had stopped, if you know what I mean? And I am not sure how that would have worked in our relationship? So luckily for us it’s me that decided to be teetotal and not him!!

Since I set up my blog I have had several emails that mention lack of support from their partner being an issue.  And it must make it so difficult.  I mean when you’re having a moment of weakness you need someone to say ” don’t have a drink, you have come so far” you don’t need to hear “come on, who are you trying to kid, you will never do it, let me get you a drink!” Or words to that effect.

I’ve also had messages saying that alcohol was such a big part in their relationship that once it’s removed it leaves a gaping hole, a void, leaving people thinking ‘what can we do now?’

And it is true, if a lot of your time was spent socializing in the pub or having long, leisurely meals over a couple of bottles of wine, then yes you may need to get your thinking caps on and come up with some alternative date nights! Try things you’ve never done before, go to different places, just enjoy the time together, just the two of you (and if you’ve got kids most importantly the kid free time!!)

We don’t have date nights very often, possibly once a month.  The pictures above were taken last Friday night, our date night. We were planning on going to the cinema, however the film options were not very good so we decided on a walk at a beautiful seaside town close by.  It was a gorgeous night (the UK has had an amazing summer so far!) and we managed a 6k walk, then found a restaurant that served the best apple crumble and sat and had it with a coffee before we walked another 6k back to the car. As nights out go it wasn’t my wildest, but it was a really lovely night and we chatted a lot and reconnected with whats going on in our busy lives.   I would say a perfect date night, but I’ve got to keep it real and be honest – we argued and I sulked for the first ten minutes because my husband hates me taking all the pictures!! He’s not a selfie lover!! Ha ha!! Apart from that it was a fab night, and I would NEVER had done that if I was drinking, EVER!

Being sober for me just opens up so many other options for a date night, going to different places, cinema nights, walks and shopping! And it’s so much better than going to the same old pubs, getting drunk and talking the same dribble or arguing over nothing and waking up to remember none of it the next day!

So what’s your experience with your partner on your sober journey?  Are they supportive or are they sabotaging your sober attempts?  If they are ask them why? Could they have a problem with their own drinking, maybe encourage them to do it with you? Discuss what you can do with all the money that you will save!  It may be that they are just afraid of you changing, are you going to be a different person? Will you end up doing different things?! Well probably YES,  but that can be a good thing not a bad thing!

I know that being sober has made our relationship stronger in severaly ways:-

  • We argue a lot less.  When I was in that sort of mood,  after a drink I would argue about anything and just not let it go.
  • We get to do different things together on nights out and as a family as a whole.
  • I have saved us a fortune, we all know alcohol isn’t cheap!
  • And probably the best thing for my husband is that he has his very own personal taxi driver,  free of charge!!!

So if your struggling, sit and talk together.  Believe me,  stopping drinking will only benefit you and your realtionship.

I hope it’s a healthy week for you all!

PS ( to those who read my last post, and to the people who messaged and commented, to wish me luck,  I am so pleased to say I got the all clear yesterday and there’s nothing to worry about! Woo hoo!)

Angie x