Category: alcohol free

“7 Sober Lessons From 7 Years Sober!”

November 21, 2023

Today marks my 7 years sober milestone!!!!! I keep going from thinking how is it 7 years?, to feeling like I have been sober forever. The old drinking me is someone I just do not know, I have no connection to her anymore – thankfully she’s a total stranger BUT she taught me some lessons!

It feels like a huge milestone and something I want to celebrate with you guys and also give back. For those who are in the early days and seven days seems impossible never mind 7 years, ( I was that girl) I want to share the top seven things I have learned so far :

Lesson ONE – The sober me is the real me!

The sober you is the real, authentic you. Its who you were made to be! You discover such a sense of self awareness when you lose the booze and you will find that a new you emerges. You will be truer to yourself, you will say YES to what you love, you will create stronger friendships and relationships as you are the true version of you.

I used to be a constant people pleaser, changing who I was to please others – it was so draining. Alcohol helped me put on whatever persona I needed for the situation. I didn’t know myself I was so busy being whatever I needed to be for other people. Now my focus is being the real me and doing what I love! And once you are in that mindset you attract everything that is meant for the authentic you!

Lesson TWO – There is sooooooo much more to life!

When I was drinking, alcohol would be the CENTRE of everything! What time are we drinking? will there be booze? Who else is drinking? What time does the bar open? I would use any excuse I could find to involve alcohol. I didn’t give myself a chance to even TRY and have fun without it!

Now my life is full of so many amazing things, I have said yes to opportunities that the drinking me would have just sat and dreamed about. Girls like me didn’t do things like that! Well the sober me changed that and you can too! You can dance, get on a stage, change your career, ugly belly laugh, see the world and live a full and exciting life sober – use you new found sober confidence to go out and grab that new sober life, its out there waiting!

Lesson THREE – Sober Sleep Is Another Level

In the early days of my sober journey I would head off to bed super early with a hot choc and a book, to take me out of the way of temptation and get myself our of the habit of drinking on the settee AND because sober sleep is a luxury. There is no better feeling than your head hitting the pillow and you know you will be getting an uninterrupted 8 hours, and even better you have done your skincare, brushed your teeth and made it into your pj’s – I like being a little extra and spraying my pillow mist too!

Compare that to passing our on the settee or flopping into bed after drinking, makeup on, teeth not brushed and already massively dehydrated! Just to wake up three hours later sweating, feeling sick, total anxiety and the worst wine breath. We all know that feeling and its no wonder we wake up feeling drained and tired and once again waiting for wine time to feel better!

Lesson FOUR – Life’s not perfect, and that’s ok!

I used to always want to be in control of a situation, which is so crazy as drinking saw me lose all self control. Now I can handle change, disappointment and the days that just aren’t that great, so much better than before. I would always make it all about me – how I was affected, how I had been let down, poor little old me – who would need wine to help her feel better.

If I told you the past seven years have seen me skipping through pink fields with unicorns everyday, I would be lying! Of course I still have rubbish days, still feel let down, still have to change my plans or my direction – but now I’m much better equipped to take a deep breath, learn from it and move on. I guess I’ve got a sober tool kit and my new way of dealing with things – which I have had to learn for myself along the way. Exercise, walks, retail therapy, decluttering, working, spending time with those I love – are all ways for me to deal with those feelings that used to have me reaching for a couple of bottles of wine. It takes time to find out what works for you but its good to know that when things fall apart you have things to turn to to get through.

Lesson FIVE – I’m a better Mum, Daughter, Wife and Friend

They say you love the ones you hurt the most and the I think the drinking you is the most selfish version of you. When I was drinking I would get to the point that all that mattered was having that next drink, I would say things I couldn’t remember, let people down, embarrass myself and those I loved – all for alcohol.

Its good to know that now I’m giving the people I love the best of me, ALL of the time! My girls will forever be my reason why, they were 7 & 10 when I quit and just starting to notice I was different when the wine was around. And although I regret not stopping sooner I’m so glad I stopped when I did so they have fewer memories of how I was then. I just know I’m a better person, I am more tuned in, I can pick up on peoples feelings, I look out for those I love and I want to nurture the relationships I have with my family and friends now.

Lesson SIX – Wine is not selfcare!

What a revelation! Who knew!! Alcohol is NOT selfcare!! “Treat myself to a bottle of wine” was one of my favourite sayings. Treating myself to cheer myself up or reward myself for something good – or just to celebrate getting half way trough the week! Wine would be there as my treat!

Now I’m all about REAL self care and for me this looks like; saying no to something or someone, setting boundaries, turning off my phone, pamper nights, retail therapy, early PJ night (or afternoon!), good food, a fab gym session with time for a sauna, a good coffee, catching up with friends, snuggles on the settee, early nights, sleepy mornings and cake! Self care comes in so many ways, it’s what makes you feel like you, what brings you back home to yourself.

Lesson SEVEN – NEVER be ashamed of your story

When I first stopped drinking in 2016 I had been trying to quit for about 18 months. During that time I was obsessed with secretly snooping around sober blogs and online sober groups, but would never sign up or comment, I felt to ashamed. How had I ended up being someone who cant drink normally like everyone else? I wasn’t that bad was I? Then every Monday morning would confirm I DID have a problem, the guilt and anxiety was screaming at me to change.

It took me 12 months of sobriety before I set up this blog and my Instagram account. It was then that I started connecting with others and hearing how I was helping them, helped me keep sharing my story and its now something I am so proud of. Second to having my beautfiul girls its the best decision I have ever made.

We suffer in so much silence and shame, sneaking drinks, trying to cover up slurring words, defending ourselves the next morning saying we do remember, trying to walk straight and pull ourselves together. Sneaking into the kitchen for an extra top up, hiding drinks in a cup in the day on as Sunday to survive the hangover, hiding bottles, saying ooh lets have a drink when you know you’ve had three already, pretending you have to get something from the shop so you can get more wine and saying you have a cold so you can have a “large hot toddy” on a night you promised you wouldn’t drink.

These are ALL part of my journey, all part of me and who I am today. Don’t be ashamed of anything the drinking you has done because hating yourself will not help you heal! Accept it, embrace it, forgive yourself and then focus all your energy on building the new you – She’s out there waiting!

I feel like I have learnt so many other things along the way , but right now at this stage in my journey these feel the most significant to me and will hopefully help you too!

Let me know what you think, can you relate to these lessons? Or are you struggling? My inbox is always open and don’t forget to find me on Instagram for daily inspo. https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/

My plan is to start blogging more regularly too so please stay connected and lets smash this sober journey together!

Love

Angie xx

My 2020 lessons of a sober lockdown……..

January 5, 2021

Happy 2021!!

I hope you have all had a fabulous Christmas and New year and have been keeping safe at home with your loved ones. How is your New Year so far? If you are doing Dry January 2021 then please look back through my old posts on here as I share a lot of tips and advice on the early days.

WOW 2020 what a year. As you know I don’t like looking back but sometimes you really need to see how far you’ve come and just take a moment to reflect. It feels like its all been a blur, not in a drunken way like it used to do but in a ground hog day way! But when I look back over past social media post, photos and my journal, it really was something else, a year to remember for all the wrong and right reasons. I can see straight away what I have gained from the crazy year that 2020 was. So here goes, my wins, my lessons and my good bits of 2020!

  • The number one, most important lesson for me that I will never take for granted was mine and my family’s health. I know that so many people have lost friends and family during this time and I am truly sorry for that. Having four years of sobriety under my belt certainly made me feel that my immune system always fighting fit. Although I did test positive for the antibodies , I can only pin point last January when I thought had a bad cough so must have only had it mildly. We know that alcohol depletes our vitamin levels and our immune system so by being sober at least we are keeping our body as healthy as can be. Achieveing 4 years sober was a huge achievement for me in November last year.
  • During 2020 I started to view my health differently. Before lockdown I was teaching Bodypump 5-6 times a week. I had got myself in my best physical shape ever but was feeling pretty run down too. Lockdown gave me the chance to take a breath, gain a few lockdown pounds and whilst I was still doing Bodypump I was mixing it up with heavy weights too. Which has had a nice effect of giving me a curvier shape that I’ve never really had before! Rest days and good food with treats added in will help you build muscle and give you a balance that I now realise I was missing. I feel recharged and reenergised and most importantly, I feel super strong.
  • The therapy of a peaceful dog walk! Dogs have definitely won lockdown haven’t they. I’ve started to appreciate where I live more and just enjoy the peace and quiet of walking the dog. We are lucky to live in a semi rural area and I definitely feel lucky to live where I do and be able to escape with the dog everyday.
  • I have read an endless amount of positivity books, including Vex King, Rhoda Byrne and I’m following a lot of positive accounts on social media. When I quit drinking I naturally became a more positive person, which I think you do as you don’t have the dreaded hanxiety that comes with heavy drinking. I also wanted to start looking into manifestation for a while and 2020 seemed the perfect time to do it! I now read something everyday and I constantly try to check my thoughts and feelings, trying to stay as positive as possible to try and manifest my dreams. I fully recommend it, I know some people don’t believe in it but I say give it a go, worse case scenario it makes you look at things in a more positive light. Be protective of your energy too, don’t let others effect you if they are full of negativity, 2020 made me realise my energy is the most important thing especially at a time when you are working hard to keep it positive. You can distance yourself to protect yourself.
  • My little Tropic business boomed last year! In what I thought would be a disastrous year, as Tropic is all about sharing freshly made skincare products in a face to face environment, it turned into the total opposite! My business has more than trebled, with it totally adapting to online sales and people just generally taking more time to look after themselves. From starting 2020 with myself and one other ambassador we are now over 30 women strong, all sharing the love of Tropic. Plus I have also achieved two amazing 5 star trips to Ibiza and Jamaica, when we can actually go!
  • I realised how important holidays are to me. My first feeling when we went into lockdown was a feeling of claustrophobia that we have to stay in the UK. I have had about 5 sober holidays and I just absolutely love them – they really are so amazing. Being sober gives you chance to experience the culture, the area, the activities instead of just sitting by the pool making the most of the all inclusive bar.
  • Paramount to everything else – I realised the love in my family. My family, my husband, two girls and the dog have all been my support circle. We have shown how we can literally be together 24/7 without any (or very little) drama. Not every day has been all happy families but there has only been a handful of times that we have annoyed one another and missed having our own space. I know deep down that the drinking me would have been a totally different person through lockdown, the wheels would have come off big time and my family would have got the worst of it all. My priority would have been how I felt and how I needed to escape with a bottle of wine or two, or three, but the sober mummy that I am made sure that my family felt safe and cared for during this challenging year.
  • And finally -NEVER underestimate the power of a nana nap, chocolate and Netflix. On the days where it got bad, that’s how I escaped my mind – a sleep, food or tv! Not ideal, but did it work -YES!!!

So in a round about way that’s my 2020 and how it worked out for me. I know in the UK we are enering our 3rd Lockdown but we will get through it jut like we did last year, and we will see better days in 2021. We can see the light at the end of it all we just need to get through this last hurdle.

Let me know how you survived 202 sober. I think for anyone to come through ANY part of that year without using alcohol to escape really is a sober warrior, and it shows a strength that will get you through 2021. FEEL PROUD!

If you are just starting your sober journey and doing dry January then please check out my earlier posts. And contact me direct for any help on a 1-2-1 basis. Plus is anyone is looking to give their skincare a refresh in 2021 or even looking to join me in helping women love the skin they are in, then again contact me by email, message or social media. https://www.instagram.com/

2021 we are ready, we have got this and remember better days are ahead!

( I had written this before the announcement last night of a 3rd lockdown in the UK, but hey we’ve done it before we can get through it again!)

Love

Angie xx

Lockdown Self Care – 28 Day Challenge!

November 5, 2020

Hey guys!!

So here we are in the UK at the start of lock down number two. It certainly feels different this time compared to the last and I’ve found myself asking why?

First of all – the weather is certainly different! Sunshine is a natural mood enhancer and I think in the first lockdown we where blessed with amazing weather. Plus we were more tempted to get out and about in the fresh air. This time its dark, wet and lets be honest pretty miserable. However i feel like its making it feel more like hibernation – it feels like the perfect time to nourish and nurture ourselves.

With most of the world going into self-isolation to protect themselves against Covid-19, it is more important than ever to really work on yourself and your mental health. And to do what works for you! 2020 has definitely given me the time for soul searching. Allowing me to really look at what and who I have in my life and focus on all the things that make me feel good and allow me to be ME!

Lets introduce self care! Up until 4 years ago when I stopped drinking – I didn’t know what self care was. Well, I thought I did – I thought self care was downing a bottle of wine on the settee, stuffing my face with chocolate and crisps whilst I half remember a film I’m watching as the wine has got to work on my slumped energy levels and blacked out memory.

Fast forward to 48 months later (on the 21st i will be 4 years sober – whoop whoop!!!) and I pretty much feel like a pro when it comes to self care.

Self care can be so many things. It can be anything from a long hot bath to saying no to a friend who is draining your energy. It comes in so many different forms and there are so many ways in which you can look after YOU.

If any of you follow me on Insta or are a member of my Tropic Skincare VIP group then you will have probably seen the following video. This is a live I did yesterday, explaining all about my selfcare challenge that I am doing for the next 28 days. So if you are looking for a little inspiration, or just wanting to find your way back to YOU then please join me!

I will be posting on Instagram daily and I will be posting on here more often too! Lets share what we do and inspire people to do the same, and start looking after yourself. It just feels like the PERFECT TIME!

If you are on a sober journey, especially in the early days – this will give you a focus away from the wine witch and I guarantee you will be feeling amazing by the end of the 28 days!

If you would like to make a start by trying out a new skincare routine for 28 days – these products are a fab place to start!! Please contact me if you would like further info. They come in three combinations for different skin concerns.

Lets fill these next 28 days with selfcare, self love and lets come out of this feeling strong, sober, refreshed and recharged.

Please find me in insta https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ or my VIP Facebook group @ Tropic with Angie

We have got this – we have survived it once we can survive it again!

Love Angie xx

Sober Lockdown Lowdown…………

June 13, 2020

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How is lockdown life treating you?

Can you believe we are now entering our 13th week of lockdown – I know rules have been relaxed ‘slightly’ but we are still living in a totally different world than the beginning of the year!

I am not going to lie – some times have been so hard!  And the reason for me not blogging as often as I wanted too was because I have put off thinking about anything in any depth!  My life has been in a little bubble of juggling  the girls at home, being mega busy with Tropic, redecorating the house (well my husband has but its still something extra to deal with!) and just trying to maintain my exercise regime and control my chocolate intake.  I am sure this list is just like the list from so many other people – we are all in this together, each with our own set of problems that lockdown brings.

I mentioned in a past post A letter to my readers…………. that one of my main stresses and triggers is not knowing what is happening and plans being changed.  2020 was going to be such an amazing year – I had so much planned.  I had done a mood board in December last year, full of all my hopes, goals and  dreams for the year ahead.  It was the first time I had ever done a mood board and I felt pretty proud of it,  its got pride of place in my office just next to my desk where I can look at it all the time and remind myself of what I want to achieve this year.

Well as the lockdown days turned into weeks, I can not tell you how much I have wanted to throw this mood board out of the window!  It has caused me so much stress, showing me all of my plans and dreams that have had to be cancelled for this year.

Like so many people I have spoken to lockdown has created a roller-coaster of emotions, and I have been exactly the same.  Some days feeling so positive that I have done so much, and other days not even getting out of my pj’s and being amazed that I’ve manged to just feed the kids.  Apart from my girls being my reason for everything, the other two things that have got me through those days have been my job – everything about Tropic is positive plus some sort of exercise, even just walking the dog.  But paramount in all of this is that even at my lowest point I didn’t pick up a drink!  Believe me some days I would have happily escaped how I felt with a bottle or two of Pinot.

It was around the 21st May – my sober milestone of  three and a half years sober, that my mindset began to change.   I took a step back and started to look at the positives, the main one being I had got through all of this SOBER.  The positivity I got from my Insta page was just unbelievable, plus I am in a Facebook group called The Alcohol Experiment – I think I got over 600 likes and a hundred  of comments –  It was seriously a gamechanger for me.  My mindset changed over night – I had a really good chat with myself, I needed to get a grip, I was inspiring other people.  People were looking at me and watching – I needed to be strong for them.  You guys – my followers, ,my sober warriors, I needed to be strong for you !

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I now accept that things are far from ideal, and we are a long way from ‘normal’ life and seeing our loved ones with no restrictions.  Yes we have had to cancel or postpone a lot of things we had planned but these things will happen and we will cherish them even more.

So when I look at my mood board now, I am slowly starting to love it again.  Mood boards ideally should cover 5 areas of your life, Career, Home, Relationship, Travel and Wellbeing/growth.  They help you find your direction and set your goals.  The idea is that you look at your board regularly and those things should manifest in your life – it’s the perfect example of the power of positivity.

And now that I can bring myself to look at my board again without wanting to smash it into a million pieces I can see that I HAVE achieved some of the things on there without even thinking about it.

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Career – I wanted to grow my little business and become a Manager – I have now got a team of 11, my business has doubled in size and I have definitely smashed working from home! my mood board has a photo of Alan Sugar and Susie Ma, who I was meant to meet in March as I was promoted to manager but will no doubt now meet next year.

 

Home –  I wanted to make my home more cosy, redecorate, and just focus on enjoying time at home and making it a safe place, somewhere that my girls want to be as they grow up.  Well that has certainly come true in lockdown – My picture on my board was fairy lights and people snuggled by the fire with hot chocolate whoch has been a very regular lockdown scene!

Relationship – My plan was to make more time for US, more date nights and time on our own.  That hasn’t happened at all, more like the opposite but we HAVE supported each other through this and the different challenges we have faced. My husband is my rock which I have always known, but this past few months have really highlighted and reminded me, we are a real team, best friends.  Plus he’s amazing at decorating -ha!

Travel – We have had holidays rebooked, cancelled, rebooked! And I really miss holidays.  But we do have a huge list of what we want to do and where we want to go when all of this is over, and I feel like holidays will feel extra special.

Wellbeing/Growth – The sober me LOVES challenges and pushing myself out of my comfort zone ( read my past post You Didnt Come This Far To Only Come This Far!)and I had planned a sky dive at 45 for my 45th Birthday (still time to do that!) My picture showed two skydivers with the quote “Take Every Risk Drop Every Fear”

Being a Bodypump Instructor and as you know I love my weights, I also had a picture that said “Lifting weights doesn’t make people huge, cup cakes make people huge!” And after a couple of months of more chocolate and cake and less weights – yes that’s true!

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So guys all is not lost, giving up is not an option.  2020 can still be a good year.

If this is you right now and you are struggling, please just take a step back and see how far you have come.  You owe it to yourself not to give up.  And if you are In the early days of sobriety you are a sober Rockstar and I salute you – remember we didn’t come this far to only come this far.  Lockdown has taken so much away from us – don’t let it take your positivity, pride and sobriety.

If you have never made a mood board – try it!  Such a positive thing to do and it gives you something to focus on if nothing else.  Think of what you want to fit into this next six months of 2020!

How have you survived lockdown, any tips or advice – please let me know in comments

Find me on Instagram @soberglowgetter for all things sober!

Love Angie xx

 

 

 

 

SOBER SELF CARE

April 6, 2020

 

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Hey guys how are things going?

This lockdown is certainly messing with my head, from being pretty upbeat and positive 99% of the time I’m feeling pretty up and down at the minute.  But I’m guessing its normal and totally to be expected with everything that’s going on.

A huge hands in the air for the soberistas who are in the early days, what a testing time and you are smashing it!  I got an amazing comment on my last post from Sarah who was on day 25 – wow that is something huge in the current climate.  At over 40 months sober I am serious when I say I would struggle if I was starting now – so a massive well done guys – if we can get through this sober I’m thinking we can get through anything!

The hardest part for me is that my routine is upside down, my days normally fly by and at the moment they are dragging.  I am physically not as active, so yes I am working out everyday and walking the dog every day but for the rest of the day I am sat down a lot, either with the kids, watching tv or sat in the garden – When normally I am flying around everywhere.  And possibly the hardest part for me is not knowing when this will all return to normal, we haven’t got a time scale – I’m a planner I NEED to know what’s happening and when.  But you know what I’ve got to accept it is what it is and my priorities right now are keeping myself, my family, and my parents healthy and safe and that’s all I can do right now.

All of these feelings are feelings I would normally escape from by drinking.  We have all been there when its all too much and you just need to escape your own mind.  And that is the hardest part, sitting with these feelings. But just think how strong we will be when we come out of the other side – sober super heroes!

You have to find other ways to escape, other way to relax and destress and just give yourself time out.  This is when you realise how important Sober Self Care is – you have to learn new ways to let yourself escape reality and just look after yourself and recharge.

I used to think going to the corner shop for a bottle of wine or two was self care?  So believe me this is something that I have had to learn to do, but I can not begin to tell you how important self care is for you and your sobriety.  Here are some ways that I switch off and try to look after myself physically and mentally. I am still trying out new ways and ideas so feel free to comment and let me know what self care means for you guys too :-

  • This … Blogging!  Today my head was just all over the place, I have felt teary and pretty emotional but just stting down to focus on this and the contact with my readers and a feeling of giving back has just made me feel better.  Maybe start a journal, a video diary, an Instagram page or even set up a little blog yourself.
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  • Exercise – no surprise I know!!  Exercise has been my number one coping mechanism since I stopped drinking over three years ago.  I love anything with weights and occasionally running.  But you can do anything, yoga, workout dvd, power walking with the dog.  Just something to give your endorphins a boost and give you that much needed time out.  The best time to exercise I  feel is first thing in the morning before your brain knows what your body is doing, plus what a better way to make the most of those glorious hangover free mornings!
  • Pamper time – a hot bath, doing your nails, trying out new makeup, do a gradual tan or a relaxing face mask.  Since I started with Tropic I have got to admit this is now a close second to exercise for me as it feels a little like product research!  The old me would NEVER relax this way, I would occasionally go for a spray tan  before a night out but as we all know there is nothing relaxing about that!  If you would like some pampering inspiration visit  My online shop or message me and I will happily help
  • Reading – I have read some amazing books since I quit the booze and although I don’t seem to have much time to read anymore but I always make sure I have a good book for long weekends or holidays.  My go to books are inspirational books and memoirs so Noah Galloway, Jillian Michaels, Clare Pooley and Catherine Grey are just a few.
  • Netflix & Chill – I cant even begin to tell you how many films the drinking me would watch and not remember the ending, or not really focusing on the film because my glass constantly needed refilling.  I love now just getting fully immersed in a dvd or a film at the cinema and you can just totally lose yourself for a couple of hours – total heaven.
  • Early nights – never underestimate the power of an early night with a hot chocolate, especially in those early days of sobriety.  I would feel so tired and as it was winter time, I couldn’t wait to snuggle up in bed all cosy with a hot choc!  If you need to sleep – sleep!
  • Retail therapy – who doesn’t like to online shop!  Sometimes I will just spend an hour filling and emptying my basekt – dream online shopping! And if you add up how much you have saved by not drinking, you can certainly afford to treat yourself.
  • Chatting with friends, a call with an upbeat, like minded friend can totally lift your spirits or even an online catch up with your sober online support friends.

There are soooo many ways you can take time out to look after YOU which are also fab ways to distract yourself if the wine witch is calling!  And the extra bonus is that none of them give you a hangover from hell in the morning.

Let me know how you guys practice self care, any tips or ideas would be appreciated.  I know a lot of people find cooking relaxing but its the total opposite for me – lets just say I have never had the urge to channel my inner Nigella!!

Now more than ever is a time we should be making self care a priority.  It isn’t selfish its a fundamental part of our sobriety and an important part of both our physical and mental health – you have every right to just give yourself time to ………

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Take care, stay safe and stay at home – we have got this

Find me on Instagram for daily posts and sober inspo   @soberglowgetter

 Love Angie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have Yourself A Sparkling Sober Christmas……………

December 23, 2019

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

Its that crazy time of year again – when all normality, routine and good intentions start to slowly go out of the window – nooooooooooooo!

I hope you are all hanging in there guys – believe me I’m hanging on in there with you.  This is my fourth sober Christmas and I feel pretty confident with handling it sober and but there is still so much pressure and stress with other things – keeping up with exercise and healthy food options and just the constant pressure of making it a “perfect” Christmas (what actually is that anyway?!) So believe me at times I am here gripping on to my festive cheer by the tip of my Christmas nails!!

I know a lot of you are out there feeling the same and having concerns about getting through a sober Christmas – especially if its your first and I’ve had a lot of messages and emails asking “can I do it?”  and lots of requests for hints and tips on how to stay sober over the Christmas period. So with Christmas well and truly upon us I thought it was a perfect time to get this post out there and it can hopefully help any of you feeling anxious about dealing with the ‘MERRY’ part of Christmas!

Three years ago when I decided to stop drinking on the 21st November 2016, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind.  But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything!  This will be my fourth sober festive season and I can honestly say they are the best!  You feel like you get so much more out of it, so many more things to do and so many more memories to make.

I have always loved Christmas, and yes it’s a magical time once you are a parent but I did used to see Christmas as a drinking free for all.  I mean there are so many reasons to be opening the mulled wine or prosecco at any time of day,  its Christmas –WHY NOT!

So anxiety and stress when you think about a sober Christmas are totally understandable.  I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it!  I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to finish of December !

Lets be honest, Christmas is a stressful time and with alcohol being offered to you at every opportunity,  it’s a dangerous situation to be in if you’re in the early days of stopping drinking, so its important that you plan ahead.  Think how you can make Christmas easier and less stressful on yourself? Cut yourself some slack this year! Most of these points look at how you can do just that.

So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second of!

 

  • PRIORITISE – Realise that you can’t be everything to everyone.  Prioritise what really is important to you this Christmas.  Just because you have had the neighbours around every year for a booze up doesn’t mean that you have to do it this year?  If certain traditions and events are always focused on drinking you can always suggest something different.  You’re working on a New You, it’s ok to break some traditions and do things differently this year!

 

  • SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list!  Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book  a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused!  One thing that won’t cost you an anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or jut a chat.  And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own!  These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos.  Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT!

 

  • IF IT REQUIRES FAKE SMILING IM NOT GOING! – This is one of my favourite quotes and since I have stopped drinking it is sooooooo true!  Now this is easier said than done at Christmas because there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see!  Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave.  To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway!  Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets! Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel.  Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time.  Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is  important to YOU and that  is where you want to be.  REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!

 

  • PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES –  Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just incase there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand!  This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward)  ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!!  After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee!  Who knew that these people existed ha ha!!  Try it next time and you will be surprised.  And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you drove, it’s a  win win situation ! Always have alcohol free drinks in stock and always use a fancy glass – even if you a drinking water it makes a difference – trust me!

 

  • PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol.  Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward.  The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling crap!!  One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on!  But nope that wasn’t  happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink??  So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself!  I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS ands next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

 

 

  • BE REALISTIC! – Don’t expect too much and set yourself up for an emotional melt down!  Just because you are in the process of changing doesn’t mean that everyone else is.  People will still get drunk, kids will argue and get over tired, the dog will try to eat the tree , or turkey or both!! (It’s our first year with the pup and this could happen- hes a labrador afterall!)  Accept that things aren’t perfect, perfect is boring, tell yourself you are perfectly imperfect and you can deal with anything this Christmas throws at you because you are  CHOOSING to spend it STRONG AND SOBER!

 

  • KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!!   This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids!  If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with!  Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side!  My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year.  Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs.  You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it!  It was different, it was FUN!

 

  • BEING PRESENT IS THE BEST GIFT THAT YOU CAN GIVE YOUR LOVED ONES – ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN! – Nothing takes you off in your own world more than drinking.  The times I have sat on the settee snuggled up with the girls with a bottle of wine on the side – constantly topping up my glass.  Sat there physically but in my own little world mentally, probably hating myself that I was drinking and then getting to the point that all I can think about is the next glass and then the next bottle.  Its know one of the happiest places for me to be and I can not understand at all why I would want to escape that feeling of being chilled out and snuggled up with my two favourite people, chatting, laughing or watching a movie – total heaven!  Take away the booze and you become totally present, you are in the moment, you are actively taking part in whats going on and making memories for those around you.  Christmas is meant to be fun, join in, laugh, cry but just make sure you SHOW UP this year mentally and physically without the wine taking you into your own little world.

 

  • REMEBER ITS JUST ONE DAY AND WHO ACTUALLY CARES IF ITS NOT ‘PERFECT’! (WHAT IS A PERFECT CHRISTAMS ANYWAY!) – Christmas Day lasts 24hrs just like any other day, its just one day in the whole year. Thats all you have to get through, one hour at a time, one minute at a time – just get through it.  Drinking isn’t an option, you can do it, and just imagine waking up Boxing Day feeling fresh and hangover free, that will be the best present that you can give to yourself this Christmas!

 

  • MAKE THE MOST OF IT –  If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it!  This is a time when drinking used to be the main activity, once you take that away the options are endless.  Focus on the New Year and starting 2020 feeling fresh and recharged, with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!

 

 

There are a lot of ideas and suggestions here and I know they won’t all work for everyone, but these are what worked for me!.  I’m coming up to my fourth sober Christmas and honestly, alcohol or the absence of it doesn’t really cross my mind now.  I know I can have a fantastic Christmas if not the best Christmas without drinking.  If like me you have young children who are growing up soooo fast, just treasure the sober memories that you make with them this year.

Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year, you will not regret it!

I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your ideas. And don’t forget to find me on Instagram too.

And remember if all else fails and you really feel like you can’t take anymore – offer to do the washing up!! You are out of the way, you get time to breathe and you are doing a job that will definitely get you brownie points!!

I wish you all a perfectly imperfect Christmas and a happy and healthy holidays!

love from me and my family (including Bruno!) xxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

3 Years Sober – what I have learnt and what happens next!?!

November 21, 2019

The 21st November 2016 was the first day of my new sober life!

That was THREE years ago – three years of sobriety – three years of finding the sober me – the real me – three years of transforming myself and my life!  My day one seems a long, long time ago now, so much has happened in that time and its been a crazy whirlwind of ups and downs but these are some of the reasons why its the best thing I have EVER done!

  1. No Hangovers – not one single hangover – 3 years of waking up hangover free! AMEN to that!!
  2. Being present and totally there for my two girls Jess and Sally – my world
  3. No memory loss or blackouts at the end of the night.
  4. No planning my weekends and social life around alcohol.
  5. Going out and remembering the whole night, the food, the chats and most importantly the laughs.
  6. Realising that I am actually a really loud, clumsy person who probably looks drunk most of the time when I am out.
  7. Discovering that hot chocolate is up there with expensive therapy sessions – it actually makes you feel better and certainly got me through the early days.
  8. Going out when I want to go out with whom I want to go out with.  Not saying no to nights out because the people may not be boozy enough and NOT spending nights out with people just because they are boozy.
  9. Looking at my circle of friends now and realising that yes it has gone smaller but  stronger and my friends love me for me, drinking or not.
  10. Realising that I can actually be the sort of person that does crazy challenges like Tough Mudder !
  11. Sticking to a real exercise regime, being consistent.  Feeling proud watching my body grow strong, changing shape and my muscles getting bigger (this is a very slow process but I am not giving up!)
  12. To know my body, to be able to listen to what it needs – food, rest, fresh air, self care – not just drowning it out with wine.
  13. The money!! Just think how much money I have saved – seriously!
  14. To buy myself nice things and not feel guilty,  “well I’m not drinking!”
  15. Not having to get a taxi – anywhere!
  16. Being a taxi for friends and family and making sure they get home safe.
  17. No more thinking up excuses to go to the shop  for more wine.
  18. Not having to spend time devising a drinking plan that you know you will not stick to anyway.
  19. No more anxiety – or hanxiety – the dreaded feeling you get with a hangover where you worry about everything and your stress levels go through the roof.  (I used to always think I was going to pass out in the car or in the street and the kids would get kidnapped- yes it was that irrational!)
  20. Being able to drive anywhere and take the kids to anything they want to go to and not being annoyed that its an alcohol free event or that I cant drink because I am driving.
  21. No fixing my Drinkaware app figures and googling – am I an alcoholic or drink related illnesses.
  22. STILL loving the look on someone’s face when I say I don’t drink
  23. To accept and feel every part of the high’s and the low’s.  Everything I feel is real and true emotion, when it’s good its good and yes when its bad its bad –  but its all real.
  24. To get really excited,  like a child’s level of excitement for holidays and Christmas!
  25. To experience a totally sober holiday – these really are the best! (plus drunk people watching never gets old!)
  26. No waking up to a hazy memory of arguing or angry texting and you cant remember why?
  27. No beer belly or beer bloat!
  28. No missing the end of movies because you’ve crashed on the couch.
  29. No long deep meaningful conversations that you cant remember anything about.
  30. No awkwardness when you know you are repeating yourself again for the third time – that look on peoples face – awkward!?
  31. Having the energy to want to exercise everyday because you know it will give you a natural high.
  32. Knowing that not only your mind but your body is strong because of the healthy decisions you are making every day
  33. To sadly realise that you are a rubbish dancer dance drunk or sober but you don’t actually care because you just love dancing!
  34. No more morning after red wine breath, or the kids pointing it out to you.
  35. Realising that I LOVE meeting and speaking to new people.
  36. Learning to walk away from negativity and toxic people and situations.
  37. Finding my voice and being strong enough to say no.
  38. Having an inner confidence to stand my ground and not let people walk all over me.
  39. Washing my make up off EVERY night and enjoying self care and pamper time – (Tropic Skincare plays a huge part in this too!)
  40. Realising that there is such a thing as the sober glow, your skin, your eyes, everything – sober people just have it!
  41. Early morning runs.
  42. No starving myself all day to drink wine at night and then having a total pig out by 9pm.
  43. Being real – no falseness just 100% me!
  44. No stuffing myself with unhealthy food and carbs all weekend to try and feel half human.
  45. No mood swings (well I am 44 they may be creeping back slowly – ask my hubbie!)
  46. Having more patience.  As a mum, we need bucket loads and although I’m no saint I am 100% better than before.
  47. Realising that although I have never been a dog mum when I was drinking I know for a fact I am a better dog mum sober! I would have hated the walks, the poo, the general mess and stress of a dog. Plus imagine being all snuggled on the settee at night with my Bruno and having to get up every half hour for another drink – he would hate me!
  48. Realising that there is so much more to life than a clean house.  A clean house doesn’t make up for a messed up person or life.  My house is the messiest it has EVER been and I don’t actually care, I’m too busy living to clean up!
  49. Having a job that gets you from Monday to Friday but drains you of life, is not how it should be! Do a job you love and you will never work a day in your life – TRUE STORY!
  50. Coffee and drinking it guilt free! I used to avoid coffee due to its high caffeine but quite happily down two bottles of wine?! Now I admit I am addicted to coffee and enjoy every cup, plus never underestimate the power of a double espresso on a night out – Party time!!
  51. Finally after years of  weighing myself every day that, being fit, healthy and strong isn’t a number on scale its a feeling.
  52. At 44 years of age being able to look in the mirror and feel proud of how I look and who I am – no guilt or regret.
  53. Knowing that I am giving my body a fighting chance as it gets older to combat illness.
  54. Food glorious food! – I am a total foodie now, I love it ALL and its sooooo nice to have a dessert at the end of the night instead of another large glass of red.
  55. I have found my tribe – my sober tribe – through social media and day to day life, I have found people who get it and get me.
  56. Accepting that not everyone has to like you but also accepting that I don’t have to water myself down for those who don’t.
  57. Waking up early – naturally! The minute my eyes open, that’s it I’m wide awake – early Saturday and Sunday mornings whilst the world still sleeps are the best.
  58. Setting up my blog and Instagram page on my own.
  59. Not giving up on things as soon as they become difficult.  Skiing being one, (think of Bridget Jones -that’s me!) My Bodypump and ETM qualifications- all assessments that I have failed initially but got up and tried again and eventually got there.
  60. Realising how strong I am because I don’t give up!
  61. Being brave enough to set challenges and do things that really scare me but doing it anyway.
  62. Safe In the knowledge that I am showing my girls a way of life that doesn’t revolve around alcohol and that you can live a full, sociable, exciting life without it!
  63. Enjoying my own company and not feeling like I have to go to everything I am invited to, I actually enjoy being in on my own.
  64. Thinking I can do anything I put my mind to and not doubting myself.
  65. Feeling proud of not drinking and no longer feeling like I have to explain why. THIS IS ME!

The list goes on and I’m sure it will be even longer in the next three years!  It sounds drastic but stopping drinking has seriously changed my life because it has changed me.  It has made me push myself to change what I was unhappy with instead of drowning out my frustrations and unhappiness with alcohol and pretending to be happy.

I know I have neglected my blog recently and it really is because I have had so much  going on in my life that I just haven’t had the time.  But I promise from now on I will be finding time to post regularly.  You, my readers and followers have got me to where I am today and I am so grateful for that.

What happens next? over the next few weeks I will revisit the early days posts and how to survive a sober Christmas so please watch this space!

With regard to my journey I am now a fully qualified Bodypump Instructor and a Tropic Skincare Ambassador so both jobs are keeping me super busy and I love them both.  When I think that this time last year I was stood ironing peoples clothes for a living and  had been doing it for seven years, it actually makes me feel sad.  My life now is thriving – I am no longer just surviving the days and counting down to wine o’clock.  I am actually living and loving every sober second of my life!

To everyone reading this thankyou for being a part of this amazing journey as I hope I am a part of yours.

Love

Angie xx