Category: sober mum

10 Top Tips For A Sober Christmas

December 22, 2022

Christmas can be a challenging time for us soberistas, whether its your first Sober Christmas or you have got a few under your belt – it can be a testing time. It’s a time when expectations of ourselves and others are high, we have a lot of dates in our diary, lots on our to do list – and alcohol is EVERYWHERE and its all about being merry and bright – right??!!

This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I think it’s a perfect time to share my tips and tricks to help you celebrate this festive season sober.

Six years ago when I decided to stop drinking, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind.  But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything!  This will be my 7th sober Christmas and I can honestly say they are the best!  You feel like you get so much more out of it, there is so much more to do and so many more memories to make (and actually remember!).

Christmas for me used to be a all about the booze, a total free for all with zero control and the wheels would well and truly fall off. It was just the perfect time to drink with no restrictions and there are so many opportunities to celebrate – its just one month long party! I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it!  I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to the finish!

The reality for me was that the hangovers were next level, effecting me the next day and not feeling better until I had that next drink which got earlier and earlier each day. The Christmas before I quit was pretty bad, I had started to get the morning shakes and it scared me t- a lot! The only thing that made it go away was another drink, and although I carried on drinking for almost another year – I knew it was my body telling me to quit.

So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second!

1 DECIDE YOU WANT TO BE SOBER – Sounds crazy but you have to go ALL IN! Make that promise to yourself and your family that you are going to be sober this Christmas. You can not have ANY doubt in your mind or any wobbles, because in the weak moments when people are pestering you to drink, you need to feel strong in yourself that you will say NO. It has to be your non-negotiable that no matter what it takes you aren’t going to drink this Christmas and feel excited about it – you are about to see Christmas through sober eyes and it’s seriously a whole new world! I wasn’t a one glass of baileys kinda drinker, the Christmas before I quit I drank three bottles of wine and managed to make Christmas Dinner for ten people – then still carried on drinking into the night. But my determination that first Christmas was HUGE and that’s where you need to be – you are in control and you can do this!

2. DRIVE – Drive everywhere!!! Everyone will love you for it, you can make spontaneous trips out, you can drive with zero worries of getting stopped and breathalysed (this is still on my sober bucket list!) Most importantly you can leave when you want to leave – its perfect and you have full control when you are driving. So assign yourself as the designated driver and you’ve got your perfect response to why you aren’t drinking and also an easy get away!

3. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list! Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused! One thing that won’t cost you anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or just a chat. And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own! These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos. Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT! And if you are looking for some fabulous pamper products – I’m your Tropic Gal!

4. NO IS AN ANSWER – “No thankyou I don’t drink”, “No sorry I can’t make it” are perfectly acceptable responses for something you don’t want to do. Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself any further.   I know there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see!  Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave.  To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway!  Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets! Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel.  Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time.  Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is  important to YOU and that  is where you want to be.  REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!

5. PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES –  Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just in case there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand!  This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward)  ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!!  After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee!  Who knew that these people existed ha ha!!  Try it next time and you will be surprised.  And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you are driving, it’s a win win situation !

6. PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol.  Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward.  The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling like death!!  One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on!  But nope that wasn’t  happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink??  So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself!  I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS and next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

7. KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!!   This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids!  If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with!  Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side!  My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year.  Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs.  You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it!  It was different, it was FUN!

8. BEING PRESENT IS THE BEST PRESENT -Christmas is such a magical time for kids, get in on that excitement! If you hear the wine witch calling at night then mix it up, do something different. Get a hot chocolate and drive or walk to find the best Christmas lights. If they are a bit older like my two girls maybe go late night shopping, the cinema or a Christmas movie marathon. Its all about changing the usual pattern – and always think about how amazing and hangover free you will feel in the morning.

9. MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND START THINK ABOUT 2023– If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it! This is a time when drinking used to be the our main activity, once you take that away the options are endless. Wake up early, see the sunrise whilst everyone sleeps in, go for a walk, drive out somewhere new. Buy yourslef a lovely new notebook or journal and focus on the New Year, starting 2023 feeling fresh and recharged!! Fill it with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!

10. BE PROUD Be so proud pf yourself along this Sober Christmas journey – and take time to give yourself a pat on the back and reflect on how different this year is. No wasted mornings with hangovers, no embarrasing moments or arguments you can’t remember, no mixing up of presents or forgetting things, no money wasted on alcohol, more calories for pudding and chocolate, more energy and love for life!!! And most importantly having a Christmas you remember – for all the right reasons!

Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year!

I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your top tips for a sober christmas!

find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ to see what I am getting up to this Christmas – we are off to New York on Boxing Day – and I can not wait – there will be a lot of insta pics so keep a look out!!

Wishing you a Christmas to remember for all of the right reasons!

Love Angie xx

5 YEARS SOBER!!!

November 22, 2021

I feel like I owe all of you lovely followers an apology! I have been so busy with lots of different things and my little Blog has been the one thing that has suffered. But I am now back, planning to do weekly updates and start sharing my sober life again on here to help, support and inspire you guys.

Yesterday I celebrated my FIVE YEAR SOBERVERSARY and it still doesn’t feel real. Five years ago yesterday I woke up hungover and hating myself for the very LAST time . I decided I was sick of my own broken promises to control or quit drinking, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and I was DESPERATE to stop the ride and get off. I HAD TO CHANGE.

5 years later and I honestly had no idea that just removing alcohol from my life would have changed it this much!! My health, my career, my energy levels, my mindset, my fitness, my confidence and my outlook on life. EVERYTHING has changed, and it’s just getting better and better – I can not wait to see what the next 5 years brings and the next and the next.

And thankyou to YOU guys – I am so grateful your support and friendships 💕

If you are following me and want to start your own sober journey – just do it, just start, don’t wait- saying no to that one drink can be the start of a journey that could change your life. Reach out and let me help, you can do this – I totally believe in you.

Yesterday was perfect – I went to Manchester markets with my husband and girls, then we had tea in the Ivy and home for Adele and I’m a Celeb – it was just the perfect day.

I have had so many messages and comments through my social media – its made me so emotional today. The fact that my story is inspiring people is just unbelievable to me, one lady even wanted to print off my post and put it on her wall, possibly the best compliment ever!

If my story can help one person live a sober life and live a life they love then I really can not ask for more than that.

Going forward I want to share so much more to help people, and although life is 100mph right now I will make sure I find the time. In January I will be setting up a Sober Glow Getters what’s app group – where we can support one another and meet up on a monthly zoom. I think feeling alone is a huge reason why people cant stay on track and just by seeing that there are others our there on this journey can be a huge help.

So please keep a look out for me as I’m hopefully posting much more in the future .

I hope you all have an amazing sober week – heading towards the festive season feeling sober and strong.

Find me in insta at https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ for my daily updates and posts!

Big love to you all – and thankyou for being a part of this sober journey with me! –

love Angie xx

My 2020 lessons of a sober lockdown……..

January 5, 2021

Happy 2021!!

I hope you have all had a fabulous Christmas and New year and have been keeping safe at home with your loved ones. How is your New Year so far? If you are doing Dry January 2021 then please look back through my old posts on here as I share a lot of tips and advice on the early days.

WOW 2020 what a year. As you know I don’t like looking back but sometimes you really need to see how far you’ve come and just take a moment to reflect. It feels like its all been a blur, not in a drunken way like it used to do but in a ground hog day way! But when I look back over past social media post, photos and my journal, it really was something else, a year to remember for all the wrong and right reasons. I can see straight away what I have gained from the crazy year that 2020 was. So here goes, my wins, my lessons and my good bits of 2020!

  • The number one, most important lesson for me that I will never take for granted was mine and my family’s health. I know that so many people have lost friends and family during this time and I am truly sorry for that. Having four years of sobriety under my belt certainly made me feel that my immune system always fighting fit. Although I did test positive for the antibodies , I can only pin point last January when I thought had a bad cough so must have only had it mildly. We know that alcohol depletes our vitamin levels and our immune system so by being sober at least we are keeping our body as healthy as can be. Achieveing 4 years sober was a huge achievement for me in November last year.
  • During 2020 I started to view my health differently. Before lockdown I was teaching Bodypump 5-6 times a week. I had got myself in my best physical shape ever but was feeling pretty run down too. Lockdown gave me the chance to take a breath, gain a few lockdown pounds and whilst I was still doing Bodypump I was mixing it up with heavy weights too. Which has had a nice effect of giving me a curvier shape that I’ve never really had before! Rest days and good food with treats added in will help you build muscle and give you a balance that I now realise I was missing. I feel recharged and reenergised and most importantly, I feel super strong.
  • The therapy of a peaceful dog walk! Dogs have definitely won lockdown haven’t they. I’ve started to appreciate where I live more and just enjoy the peace and quiet of walking the dog. We are lucky to live in a semi rural area and I definitely feel lucky to live where I do and be able to escape with the dog everyday.
  • I have read an endless amount of positivity books, including Vex King, Rhoda Byrne and I’m following a lot of positive accounts on social media. When I quit drinking I naturally became a more positive person, which I think you do as you don’t have the dreaded hanxiety that comes with heavy drinking. I also wanted to start looking into manifestation for a while and 2020 seemed the perfect time to do it! I now read something everyday and I constantly try to check my thoughts and feelings, trying to stay as positive as possible to try and manifest my dreams. I fully recommend it, I know some people don’t believe in it but I say give it a go, worse case scenario it makes you look at things in a more positive light. Be protective of your energy too, don’t let others effect you if they are full of negativity, 2020 made me realise my energy is the most important thing especially at a time when you are working hard to keep it positive. You can distance yourself to protect yourself.
  • My little Tropic business boomed last year! In what I thought would be a disastrous year, as Tropic is all about sharing freshly made skincare products in a face to face environment, it turned into the total opposite! My business has more than trebled, with it totally adapting to online sales and people just generally taking more time to look after themselves. From starting 2020 with myself and one other ambassador we are now over 30 women strong, all sharing the love of Tropic. Plus I have also achieved two amazing 5 star trips to Ibiza and Jamaica, when we can actually go!
  • I realised how important holidays are to me. My first feeling when we went into lockdown was a feeling of claustrophobia that we have to stay in the UK. I have had about 5 sober holidays and I just absolutely love them – they really are so amazing. Being sober gives you chance to experience the culture, the area, the activities instead of just sitting by the pool making the most of the all inclusive bar.
  • Paramount to everything else – I realised the love in my family. My family, my husband, two girls and the dog have all been my support circle. We have shown how we can literally be together 24/7 without any (or very little) drama. Not every day has been all happy families but there has only been a handful of times that we have annoyed one another and missed having our own space. I know deep down that the drinking me would have been a totally different person through lockdown, the wheels would have come off big time and my family would have got the worst of it all. My priority would have been how I felt and how I needed to escape with a bottle of wine or two, or three, but the sober mummy that I am made sure that my family felt safe and cared for during this challenging year.
  • And finally -NEVER underestimate the power of a nana nap, chocolate and Netflix. On the days where it got bad, that’s how I escaped my mind – a sleep, food or tv! Not ideal, but did it work -YES!!!

So in a round about way that’s my 2020 and how it worked out for me. I know in the UK we are enering our 3rd Lockdown but we will get through it jut like we did last year, and we will see better days in 2021. We can see the light at the end of it all we just need to get through this last hurdle.

Let me know how you survived 202 sober. I think for anyone to come through ANY part of that year without using alcohol to escape really is a sober warrior, and it shows a strength that will get you through 2021. FEEL PROUD!

If you are just starting your sober journey and doing dry January then please check out my earlier posts. And contact me direct for any help on a 1-2-1 basis. Plus is anyone is looking to give their skincare a refresh in 2021 or even looking to join me in helping women love the skin they are in, then again contact me by email, message or social media. https://www.instagram.com/

2021 we are ready, we have got this and remember better days are ahead!

( I had written this before the announcement last night of a 3rd lockdown in the UK, but hey we’ve done it before we can get through it again!)

Love

Angie xx

Lockdown Self Care – 28 Day Challenge!

November 5, 2020

Hey guys!!

So here we are in the UK at the start of lock down number two. It certainly feels different this time compared to the last and I’ve found myself asking why?

First of all – the weather is certainly different! Sunshine is a natural mood enhancer and I think in the first lockdown we where blessed with amazing weather. Plus we were more tempted to get out and about in the fresh air. This time its dark, wet and lets be honest pretty miserable. However i feel like its making it feel more like hibernation – it feels like the perfect time to nourish and nurture ourselves.

With most of the world going into self-isolation to protect themselves against Covid-19, it is more important than ever to really work on yourself and your mental health. And to do what works for you! 2020 has definitely given me the time for soul searching. Allowing me to really look at what and who I have in my life and focus on all the things that make me feel good and allow me to be ME!

Lets introduce self care! Up until 4 years ago when I stopped drinking – I didn’t know what self care was. Well, I thought I did – I thought self care was downing a bottle of wine on the settee, stuffing my face with chocolate and crisps whilst I half remember a film I’m watching as the wine has got to work on my slumped energy levels and blacked out memory.

Fast forward to 48 months later (on the 21st i will be 4 years sober – whoop whoop!!!) and I pretty much feel like a pro when it comes to self care.

Self care can be so many things. It can be anything from a long hot bath to saying no to a friend who is draining your energy. It comes in so many different forms and there are so many ways in which you can look after YOU.

If any of you follow me on Insta or are a member of my Tropic Skincare VIP group then you will have probably seen the following video. This is a live I did yesterday, explaining all about my selfcare challenge that I am doing for the next 28 days. So if you are looking for a little inspiration, or just wanting to find your way back to YOU then please join me!

I will be posting on Instagram daily and I will be posting on here more often too! Lets share what we do and inspire people to do the same, and start looking after yourself. It just feels like the PERFECT TIME!

If you are on a sober journey, especially in the early days – this will give you a focus away from the wine witch and I guarantee you will be feeling amazing by the end of the 28 days!

If you would like to make a start by trying out a new skincare routine for 28 days – these products are a fab place to start!! Please contact me if you would like further info. They come in three combinations for different skin concerns.

Lets fill these next 28 days with selfcare, self love and lets come out of this feeling strong, sober, refreshed and recharged.

Please find me in insta https://www.instagram.com/soberglowgetter/ or my VIP Facebook group @ Tropic with Angie

We have got this – we have survived it once we can survive it again!

Love Angie xx

Sober Lockdown Lowdown…………

June 13, 2020

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How is lockdown life treating you?

Can you believe we are now entering our 13th week of lockdown – I know rules have been relaxed ‘slightly’ but we are still living in a totally different world than the beginning of the year!

I am not going to lie – some times have been so hard!  And the reason for me not blogging as often as I wanted too was because I have put off thinking about anything in any depth!  My life has been in a little bubble of juggling  the girls at home, being mega busy with Tropic, redecorating the house (well my husband has but its still something extra to deal with!) and just trying to maintain my exercise regime and control my chocolate intake.  I am sure this list is just like the list from so many other people – we are all in this together, each with our own set of problems that lockdown brings.

I mentioned in a past post A letter to my readers…………. that one of my main stresses and triggers is not knowing what is happening and plans being changed.  2020 was going to be such an amazing year – I had so much planned.  I had done a mood board in December last year, full of all my hopes, goals and  dreams for the year ahead.  It was the first time I had ever done a mood board and I felt pretty proud of it,  its got pride of place in my office just next to my desk where I can look at it all the time and remind myself of what I want to achieve this year.

Well as the lockdown days turned into weeks, I can not tell you how much I have wanted to throw this mood board out of the window!  It has caused me so much stress, showing me all of my plans and dreams that have had to be cancelled for this year.

Like so many people I have spoken to lockdown has created a roller-coaster of emotions, and I have been exactly the same.  Some days feeling so positive that I have done so much, and other days not even getting out of my pj’s and being amazed that I’ve manged to just feed the kids.  Apart from my girls being my reason for everything, the other two things that have got me through those days have been my job – everything about Tropic is positive plus some sort of exercise, even just walking the dog.  But paramount in all of this is that even at my lowest point I didn’t pick up a drink!  Believe me some days I would have happily escaped how I felt with a bottle or two of Pinot.

It was around the 21st May – my sober milestone of  three and a half years sober, that my mindset began to change.   I took a step back and started to look at the positives, the main one being I had got through all of this SOBER.  The positivity I got from my Insta page was just unbelievable, plus I am in a Facebook group called The Alcohol Experiment – I think I got over 600 likes and a hundred  of comments –  It was seriously a gamechanger for me.  My mindset changed over night – I had a really good chat with myself, I needed to get a grip, I was inspiring other people.  People were looking at me and watching – I needed to be strong for them.  You guys – my followers, ,my sober warriors, I needed to be strong for you !

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I now accept that things are far from ideal, and we are a long way from ‘normal’ life and seeing our loved ones with no restrictions.  Yes we have had to cancel or postpone a lot of things we had planned but these things will happen and we will cherish them even more.

So when I look at my mood board now, I am slowly starting to love it again.  Mood boards ideally should cover 5 areas of your life, Career, Home, Relationship, Travel and Wellbeing/growth.  They help you find your direction and set your goals.  The idea is that you look at your board regularly and those things should manifest in your life – it’s the perfect example of the power of positivity.

And now that I can bring myself to look at my board again without wanting to smash it into a million pieces I can see that I HAVE achieved some of the things on there without even thinking about it.

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Career – I wanted to grow my little business and become a Manager – I have now got a team of 11, my business has doubled in size and I have definitely smashed working from home! my mood board has a photo of Alan Sugar and Susie Ma, who I was meant to meet in March as I was promoted to manager but will no doubt now meet next year.

 

Home –  I wanted to make my home more cosy, redecorate, and just focus on enjoying time at home and making it a safe place, somewhere that my girls want to be as they grow up.  Well that has certainly come true in lockdown – My picture on my board was fairy lights and people snuggled by the fire with hot chocolate whoch has been a very regular lockdown scene!

Relationship – My plan was to make more time for US, more date nights and time on our own.  That hasn’t happened at all, more like the opposite but we HAVE supported each other through this and the different challenges we have faced. My husband is my rock which I have always known, but this past few months have really highlighted and reminded me, we are a real team, best friends.  Plus he’s amazing at decorating -ha!

Travel – We have had holidays rebooked, cancelled, rebooked! And I really miss holidays.  But we do have a huge list of what we want to do and where we want to go when all of this is over, and I feel like holidays will feel extra special.

Wellbeing/Growth – The sober me LOVES challenges and pushing myself out of my comfort zone ( read my past post You Didnt Come This Far To Only Come This Far!)and I had planned a sky dive at 45 for my 45th Birthday (still time to do that!) My picture showed two skydivers with the quote “Take Every Risk Drop Every Fear”

Being a Bodypump Instructor and as you know I love my weights, I also had a picture that said “Lifting weights doesn’t make people huge, cup cakes make people huge!” And after a couple of months of more chocolate and cake and less weights – yes that’s true!

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So guys all is not lost, giving up is not an option.  2020 can still be a good year.

If this is you right now and you are struggling, please just take a step back and see how far you have come.  You owe it to yourself not to give up.  And if you are In the early days of sobriety you are a sober Rockstar and I salute you – remember we didn’t come this far to only come this far.  Lockdown has taken so much away from us – don’t let it take your positivity, pride and sobriety.

If you have never made a mood board – try it!  Such a positive thing to do and it gives you something to focus on if nothing else.  Think of what you want to fit into this next six months of 2020!

How have you survived lockdown, any tips or advice – please let me know in comments

Find me on Instagram @soberglowgetter for all things sober!

Love Angie xx

 

 

 

 

Have Yourself A Sparkling Sober Christmas……………

December 23, 2019

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

Its that crazy time of year again – when all normality, routine and good intentions start to slowly go out of the window – nooooooooooooo!

I hope you are all hanging in there guys – believe me I’m hanging on in there with you.  This is my fourth sober Christmas and I feel pretty confident with handling it sober and but there is still so much pressure and stress with other things – keeping up with exercise and healthy food options and just the constant pressure of making it a “perfect” Christmas (what actually is that anyway?!) So believe me at times I am here gripping on to my festive cheer by the tip of my Christmas nails!!

I know a lot of you are out there feeling the same and having concerns about getting through a sober Christmas – especially if its your first and I’ve had a lot of messages and emails asking “can I do it?”  and lots of requests for hints and tips on how to stay sober over the Christmas period. So with Christmas well and truly upon us I thought it was a perfect time to get this post out there and it can hopefully help any of you feeling anxious about dealing with the ‘MERRY’ part of Christmas!

Three years ago when I decided to stop drinking on the 21st November 2016, surviving Christmas was definitely at the forefront of my mind.  But as you know I love a challenge and part of me thought – look if I can get through Christmas not drinking then I can get through anything!  This will be my fourth sober festive season and I can honestly say they are the best!  You feel like you get so much more out of it, so many more things to do and so many more memories to make.

I have always loved Christmas, and yes it’s a magical time once you are a parent but I did used to see Christmas as a drinking free for all.  I mean there are so many reasons to be opening the mulled wine or prosecco at any time of day,  its Christmas –WHY NOT!

So anxiety and stress when you think about a sober Christmas are totally understandable.  I am someone who could polish off three bottles of wine plus more over Christmas day, and still cook Christmas dinner for all my family, so believe me I get it!  I wasn’t the ‘ooh I will just have a glass of Bailey’s’ sort of Christmas drinker, no it was a free for all for me from the start to finish of December !

Lets be honest, Christmas is a stressful time and with alcohol being offered to you at every opportunity,  it’s a dangerous situation to be in if you’re in the early days of stopping drinking, so its important that you plan ahead.  Think how you can make Christmas easier and less stressful on yourself? Cut yourself some slack this year! Most of these points look at how you can do just that.

So here are my hints and tips for a sober Christmas and New Year that you get to truly enjoy AND most importantly get to REMEMBER every single second of!

 

  • PRIORITISE – Realise that you can’t be everything to everyone.  Prioritise what really is important to you this Christmas.  Just because you have had the neighbours around every year for a booze up doesn’t mean that you have to do it this year?  If certain traditions and events are always focused on drinking you can always suggest something different.  You’re working on a New You, it’s ok to break some traditions and do things differently this year!

 

  • SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH – Make sure “time for yourself” is on your Christmas to do list!  Ok so you’re not drinking, why not use that spare money to book  a massage, get your nails done, treat yourself to something new to wear or new trainers or a sober book to keep you focused!  One thing that won’t cost you an anything is time, give yourself time to spend on YOU everyday over the holidays – take a walk on your own, have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, go to bed with a book and a hot chocolate, find your sober support group on Instagram or a blog you follow and reach out for help or jut a chat.  And something that’s going on my bucket list next year – go to the cinema on your own!  These are all things that just let you take a little time out of the chaos.  Giving you time to relax, recharge and refocus on staying sober and how amazing it is that you are doing this for yourself. YOU DESERVE IT!

 

  • IF IT REQUIRES FAKE SMILING IM NOT GOING! – This is one of my favourite quotes and since I have stopped drinking it is sooooooo true!  Now this is easier said than done at Christmas because there are some events and get togethers that you just have to go to and people who you just have to see!  Keep these meetings and events short and sweet, stay for as long as you have to then politely leave.  To be honest once people have had a few drinks they won’t really notice people coming and going anyway!  Just remember that nobody can make you reach for that drink no matter how stressful it gets! Your sobriety means more to you right now than how they make you feel.  Be selective with which events you go to, you don’t have to say yes to all of your invites, people accept it’s a busy time.  Even if that means your busy staying in for a DVD night with the kids, that is  important to YOU and that  is where you want to be.  REMEMBER YOU CANT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!

 

  • PLAN AHEAD FOR PARTIES –  Always make sure you’ve got your own alcohol free drinks just incase there aren’t any available, and always make sure you keep a glass in your hand!  This is the number one trick as it stops people asking if you want a drink and you can avoid the (sometimes awkward)  ‘not drinking’ conversation. There are always people who fancy a brew at a party no matter where you go – and I’ve found this through my own experience!!  After a couple of hours drinking, there is always someone (normally a few people) who will say “oooh yes please” when you ask if anyone wants a tea or coffee!  Who knew that these people existed ha ha!!  Try it next time and you will be surprised.  And if all else fails and you need to get out of there ASAP, then YOU CAN – you drove, it’s a  win win situation ! Always have alcohol free drinks in stock and always use a fancy glass – even if you a drinking water it makes a difference – trust me!

 

  • PLAY FAST FORWARD – Accept that alcohol is going to be everywhere and don’t get caught up in all of the advertisements that glamorise alcohol.  Yes you may fancy a Baileys on ice, sat by a roaring fire – but just stop there and press fast forward.  The reality is your working your way through the bottle, torturing yourself with ideas of moderation and ‘just one more’, next thing your moving onto the wine and its a full on session, leading to a hangover from hell tomorrow with most of the day wasted, feeling crap!!  One of my first and strongest cravings was after I put the Christmas tree up that first year in 2016, normally I would be opening the mulled wine the second we switched the fairy lights on!  But nope that wasn’t  happening that year and boom the craving hit me so hard, I was angry, annoyed, why couldn’t I just have a drink??  So instead I walked down to our local cafe in the village and had a coffee and a big fat piece of cake with my girls and my Mum. We walked home, in the dark all snuggled up looking at all the Christmas lights in people’s houses. By the time we got home the craving had well and truly gone, I had forgotten about that mulled wine and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself!  I had done it! I hadn’t given in! So be prepared and ready to do something to take your mind away from the craving – IT WILL PASS ands next time it happens you will be stronger for any others that rear their ugly heads in the future! – read more at Don’t Let Triggers Kill Your Progress!

 

 

  • BE REALISTIC! – Don’t expect too much and set yourself up for an emotional melt down!  Just because you are in the process of changing doesn’t mean that everyone else is.  People will still get drunk, kids will argue and get over tired, the dog will try to eat the tree , or turkey or both!! (It’s our first year with the pup and this could happen- hes a labrador afterall!)  Accept that things aren’t perfect, perfect is boring, tell yourself you are perfectly imperfect and you can deal with anything this Christmas throws at you because you are  CHOOSING to spend it STRONG AND SOBER!

 

  • KEEP ACTIVE & GET OUTSIDE – no one expects you to start training for a marathon over the holidays but try to plan to do SOMETHING outside every day!!   This can be anything from a 30 minute walk or run or if your lucky enough to have snow, an energetic snowball fight with the kids!  If you have got children make the most of getting outside with them, especially if they’ve got new bikes or outdoor toys to play with!  Be the fun relative that actually gets OFF the settee instead of sitting in a carb coma with a bottle of wine by your side!  My first sober Christmas was spent at my sister’s house because we take turns each year.  Normally I would do exactly that and veg on the settee, carrying on drinking (Christmas day drinking started 11 ish until bedtime, no question, EVERY year!) So instead I got us all wrapped up and took myself, my hubbie and all the kids on a walk to the park, including the dogs.  You can imagine we had the whole park to ourselves and the kids loved it!  It was different, it was FUN!

 

  • BEING PRESENT IS THE BEST GIFT THAT YOU CAN GIVE YOUR LOVED ONES – ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN! – Nothing takes you off in your own world more than drinking.  The times I have sat on the settee snuggled up with the girls with a bottle of wine on the side – constantly topping up my glass.  Sat there physically but in my own little world mentally, probably hating myself that I was drinking and then getting to the point that all I can think about is the next glass and then the next bottle.  Its know one of the happiest places for me to be and I can not understand at all why I would want to escape that feeling of being chilled out and snuggled up with my two favourite people, chatting, laughing or watching a movie – total heaven!  Take away the booze and you become totally present, you are in the moment, you are actively taking part in whats going on and making memories for those around you.  Christmas is meant to be fun, join in, laugh, cry but just make sure you SHOW UP this year mentally and physically without the wine taking you into your own little world.

 

  • REMEBER ITS JUST ONE DAY AND WHO ACTUALLY CARES IF ITS NOT ‘PERFECT’! (WHAT IS A PERFECT CHRISTAMS ANYWAY!) – Christmas Day lasts 24hrs just like any other day, its just one day in the whole year. Thats all you have to get through, one hour at a time, one minute at a time – just get through it.  Drinking isn’t an option, you can do it, and just imagine waking up Boxing Day feeling fresh and hangover free, that will be the best present that you can give to yourself this Christmas!

 

  • MAKE THE MOST OF IT –  If you have got a few days off work around Christmas – just make the most of it!  This is a time when drinking used to be the main activity, once you take that away the options are endless.  Focus on the New Year and starting 2020 feeling fresh and recharged, with new goals and plans to continue on your journey of being the best you can be, alcohol free!

 

 

There are a lot of ideas and suggestions here and I know they won’t all work for everyone, but these are what worked for me!.  I’m coming up to my fourth sober Christmas and honestly, alcohol or the absence of it doesn’t really cross my mind now.  I know I can have a fantastic Christmas if not the best Christmas without drinking.  If like me you have young children who are growing up soooo fast, just treasure the sober memories that you make with them this year.

Give yourself the gift of a sober Christmas this year, you will not regret it!

I hope these tips help someone in some way, if anyone has any other ideas or advice for a successful sober Christmas, please comment and share your ideas. And don’t forget to find me on Instagram too.

And remember if all else fails and you really feel like you can’t take anymore – offer to do the washing up!! You are out of the way, you get time to breathe and you are doing a job that will definitely get you brownie points!!

I wish you all a perfectly imperfect Christmas and a happy and healthy holidays!

love from me and my family (including Bruno!) xxxxxxxxx